When I visited DH Saturday, he told me,”Ttere’s no hope for me. The Dr. said only a few months.” I answered him, “ They can’t fix it, but only God knows when, and when He tells you then you’ll know.” I also reminded him that his Mom and sister would be there. He’d finally get to meet my Dad, and to remember Tessie, Chantey, Nixie, and all the other pets who’d be there to greet him. Our visit was good.
The NH called at 2:20 a.m. DH has passed. He had a little trouble breathing so they gave him his meds and something to help him stay calm. They persuaded him to lie down and rest. An aide sat by him. He calmed, dozed, became still. She checked and he was gone. As the Cardiologist told me last month, “Usually they fade and then when sleeping or resting in a chair, they go. Very peacefully.”
I’ve notified my Daughter. Thank goodness for the time gap between here and CA. I’ll tell the rest of the family in the morning.
Given the choice between a lengthy Dementia passing, or this, I got my wish for him.
Carol, you have been a great inspiration throughout your care of your dh. He is now at peace and with his beloved pets and family who have passed over before. You have earned your star. Peace and Blesssings now as you start another phase of your life.
Oh Carol, I am so sorry but I am glad for both of you that his passing was peaceful. I hope in the next few days you find a measure of peace. Take care of yourself and God Bless.
Carol-all my love. We have been on this path together for a long while-knowing how it will end, dreading it but knowing your husband is now at peace. Nora
dear carol. sending our condolences on the loss of your dear Ron. please know he is at peace and indeed it was a blessing his passing was so peaceful. hugs take your time and remember to care for carol now divvi
You have been an inspiration to me, and I admire you so much. Know that you are loved and our hearts are with you. My sympathy for your loss and may you find additional strength for the days ahead.
carol--your posts helped me so much when I was staring to hire in-home help in determining what I was "entitled" to ask of them. As Emily said, you have been a true role model, which we desperately need during this long, unfamiliar experience. Wishing you peace.
Dear Carol, I am so sorry. You and Ron will be in my prayers today. What a blessing it was that you were with him yesterday and helped put his mind at rest. I can just see him now with his pets - completely well, happy and with his pets all around. ..... And that HUGE smile of his!! Take care of yourself now, dear friend.
Carosi, please accept my condolences on the loss of your husband. You have had a tough year and my heart and prayers go out to you and your family. Peace to you.
Dear Carosi, You fought the good fight right up to the end and have been a blessing to Ron and to all of us. I wish for you peace, strength and a good life.
Carol, I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved Ron, but yes such a blessing he was granted a peaceful end. I am sure this brings you a measure of comfort ((hugs))
As the others have said you have been a mentor to many of our family here. Me included, and I would like to take a moment during this sad and difficult time to let you know how special you are to me. In 2010 I was going through a very difficult time, Lynn was lost to me about 90% of the time and I remember writing a post here spilling my guts and questioning how I could possibly survive this……
And you, like an angel said exactly what I needed to hear, when I needed to hear it the most. I know exactly word for word what you wrote because two years later I still keep a copy of it with me.
I believe your words with every fiber of my being and I clung to them as if they held magical powers. They gave me the strength and courage to think “outside the box”, to try the marinol and to fight for Lynn. Your words have been proven to me many times over.
Just as deeply do I believe we will be reunited with our loved ones one day. What you said about Ron being with his family and pets again brought tears to my eyes. I am glad you had such a nice visit and that you were able to bring that comfort to Ron. I hope now you are able to pamper Carol, she is important to many of us ((hugs))
Carol, I am so sorry your Ron has passed on but it truly was god's gift that you had such a wonderful visit and that he passed peacefully. I know I hope for a peacful passing for my DH when the time comes.
As others have said, you have truly been an inspiration to me and many others here-your tireless cargeiving for so many years and your courage and strength facing your own health issues in the midst of your caregiving duties. Whenever I despair that I can no longer do this because my own health is suffering, I think of you and how graciously you handled such a difficult role. You have always been generous with your wisdom and compassion. I hope you will now let your cyber friends cmfort you during this difficult time and that you focus on Carol when you're ready. You've earned it. Blessings.
I am so sorry for your loss and the hard days ahead. But what a beautiful visit you had with him last night when he seemed to really communicate with you and understand somehow what you were saying about all the family and pets he would see and once again enjoy....It must have been a great comfort for him to be comforted by the aid at the NH and to take the advice to lie down and just rest. And he did, he rested all the way to health and wholeness again. This disease leaves us so sad for so long...and then when our LO finally is at real peace we are left with all the flotsam to wade through. I wish you peace and strength...
Carol, so sorry for your loss. Maybe in a way Ron was hearing you tell him that it was OK to go & be with all of those who went before him. Such a peaceful passing........oh that we all go that way. Peace & love to you dear one.
Carol--Ron is at peace now, and you helped him greatly with your goodbye talk. What you said to him was wonderful. You have been such an inspiration to us here on Joan's site. You have been one of the keys. I send you my best thoughts for healing.
May peace be with you now and in the days ahead when you know your dh is now at rest and is in a very special place. Beautiful words you to spoke to him. I will remember those words when I may need them the most.
Carol, you have been such an extraordinary caregiver and have helped so many of us along our way. Ron was so blessed to have you at his side during his long journey. God bless you and give you comfort to ease your pain.
Sincere sympathy to you and your family,dear carosi. You have been an inspiration for so many of us, for such a long time. Wishing you peace and strength for the days ahead.
God bless you and your DH. You are right, you were blessed that he experienced a peaceful passing, and fortunate that your last visit was a good one. You will be in my prayers.
I'm so sorry to hear of your husband's passing. I wish you peace now. As so many others here have said, you have been an inspiration to me also. Your wise words have helped me in many ways. Now, as I wait, I hope I can be as brave as you were and are. My deepest sympathies.
Carol - you said: Given the choice between a lengthy Dementia passing, or this, I got my wish for him
I am happy for both of you that he did not have to suffer the long road of dementia. Take care of yourself, get rest and prayers for peace to continue. You were a great caregiver to you husband for a long, long time.
You have been an inspiration to me. Through all of your own debilitating disabilities, you have not only managed to care for your husband, but have always provided positive, upbeat support to all of us. Please take comfort in knowing you perservered as a loving caregiver with grace and dignity. Now that your husband is free from the Alzheimer horror, you can start to take care of yourself.