Our 35th anniversary is next month and I'm thinking about inviting about 12 close friends/family members for dessert at the ALF one evening. Steve has been there almost a year and has adjusted beautifully. He still knows me, knows I am his wife, is affectionate, etc. The anniversary concept is probably hazy to him, and numbers are meaningless (ironic--former CPA). However, he is still social and enjoys having visitors. There's a small room with tables and chairs that the ALF staff would give us, I would set it for 7 p.m. on a Sunday, most of the residents would be in or near their rooms at that time. I've seen other families hold gatherings like this, I wondered if anyone here had?
Marilyn, I have not held a pary at an ALF because Rich was only there 2 weeks, but the staff was very accomodating when I mentioned that I might want to have a small gathering. They even offered to bake a cake or cookies on site if I notified them in advance (for a fee, of course).
I am so happy for you and Steve that he has adapted so well to the ALF. Happy anniversary in advance!
No experience with this, but I would do it as long as he is social and enjoys the visitor. We have to give up so much - so go for it! And an early happy anniversary!
me either marilyn, but i think its a lovely idea! and if steve gets restless they can distract him to another area for a bit and you all can continue the party. i think its a good idea for you friend to celebrate as well. happy anniversary in advance! and be SURE to buy something beautiful from steve that commemorates the day?? grin divvi
I have considered this myself. There's a small private room off the main ALF dining room, and a rec room upstairs, either of which I could use. However, I don't think Jeff would relate to it at all. Still, if anyone wants to convene for a meal and include him, this will be our method. Will probably give it a shot when his sister is back from overseas.
I have organized two celebrations for my husband's aunt at the nursing home where she lives, more because of physical disability than dementia. I had her 100th birthday celebration catered by someone I knew. A volunteer volunteered to put together her 101st birthday, I just brought a fruit plate. She had lived at the same community in independent living, so some of her friends came. My main suggestion would be to be careful about the size of the room--if some people are in wheelchairs you can fit a lot fewer into a room. We had to expand the 100th birthday party into the hallway.
I am the "party queen" lol. We have had lots of celebrations and holiday gatherings for Lynn. I don't invite a lot of people only because I think it would be too overwhelming for him and me, but 12 is a good number. Where Lynn is they have many different rooms of different sizes available for just such occasions. I would talk to the Resident Relations Department, they are the ones who know if certain rooms are already booked for resident activities etc.
In April we had a nice Birthday party for Lynn, decorations, music and we even did some dancing.(not a small feat when your LO is in a wheelchair, but boy did we have fun!! : ) The regular rooms were not available so what they did was close one of the dining rooms on his floor so we could have some privacy. They also supplied the cake, ice cream and drinks. They just love Lynn and it shows by these extra touches.
I hope you have a nice celebration Marilyn and that it gives you another precious memory to treasure ♥
We had my sister's 90th birthday party at her ALF. We brought the food but the kitchen staff had set the room for us. It was a small luncheon with only our family and it turned out so much better than trying to take her out. The staff at the ALF was very helpful. Hope all turns out well for you and add my best wishes for only good memories.
Yes, we had a large birthday party for my Dad when he was in a facility. We had all the kids, grandkids and great grandkids there. He wasn't able to walk but the staff rolled him down to the large day room. We had a great time, had birthday cake & icecream, took pictures, etc. The staff actually encouraged us to do this and helped set up everything. At 99 years old, he still had a sharp mind. Not fair for all our much younger spouses, is it? I would definitely do the party, Marilyn.
Sounds super to me. I was at one of those parties several years ago for my daughter's mother-in-law. It was very nice. Everyone seemed to enjoy it and she loved it.
Although husband was at ALF for such a short time, one of the things they promoted was celebrations. What they would provide was similar to what Nikki said.
This was a small facility. In retrospect, too small, but that is not for this thread. The celebrations would be held after the dining room was closed to the residents, and this meant about 7:00 pm. The resident dietician (sp) would provide the menu of the caregiver's or resident's choice, or it could be catered. It could also be held between lunch and dinner, but that would be a window of about 2-5 pm and does not sound like your interest. In their promos they provided photos and it looked nice enough.
Considering what you said about Steve and his adjustment, it sounds like a wonderful idea. Happy Anniversary and I hope you know I always wish you the best!