Mine doesn't seem to mind too much if I'm on the computer or busy doing housework or other things, but talking on the phone or, just to another person, he gets annoyed and goes away to sulk. I probably have asked this before, but, alas, I cannot remember :-).
Yes, mothert, DH gets a little upset when I'm on the phone. He will always interrupt to ask who it is. Most times, after I tell him, he doesn't keep interrupting, though. He doesn't go away and sulk either. Depending on who it is, I sometimes ask if he wants to talk to them - he never does, of course.
OH! YES, when he was in earlier stages he got furious when I was on the phone. No matter personal call or business call. Even when I talked to his children. He would yell the whole time.
mine gets annoyed if I don't answer on the first ring...and he just can't hold on to the realization that we have had so many spam calls that I have some blocked in my phone (20 numbers) so the phone rings once and even if you pick it up, there is " no one on the other end again" and I also have Privacy Message so that if a name comes up minus a number or it is out of area or unknown the phone rings once but there is nothing there. I hate hate hate telemarketers and the scams are everything from lower the mortgage ( we don't have one) to diabetic supplies to solar and on and on....and the new thing now on caller ID is "california call" or Nevada call or something that may be a legit call but I ignore those too if I don't know who it is...identify yourself or I won't answer and this is a constant with him...sometimes I hit the switch and just shut the phones off so they don't ring...I also have a night mode in my phone so it won't ring after 8 nor before 8 in the morning..my phones are cordless Panasonics.
Forgot to add, on my message on the answer machine i id our number, and say leave your name, time of day date and message and we will call back. Telemarketers, do not call again, we are on the do not call list and future calls will be reported to the FCC ( for all the good it will do haha) and it seems to have cut some of this down.
OH YES!! When I am on the phone dh is constantly trying to talk to me-who is it?what do they need?how long are you going to talk? And then the final one-I need to go to the bathroom now. Good thing we have cordless phones!
Remember when your kids were toddlers and you could never complete a phone conversation because they wanted your attention. All of your attention all of the time. Same thing with our AD adult toddlers.
Yep, adult toddlers. I have to admit that I just let him stew, I cannot allow him to isolate me any more than we already are. He's still pretty functional, for now, and I know perfectly well that I am living on borrowed time, so I am going to continue to do what I can until I no longer can.
Dh talks to me while I'm on the phone. Our son used to stop talking when he heard him and say doesn't he know you're on the phone? Now he just continues his conversation. It is hard to listen to two but I'm learning.
see..now this is so different than you all say. For one thing, he NEVER talks, and I know, it is because he cannot say things right. (these days, every time I ask what he is doing, he says, looking for the basket)
And when I am on the phone , he never asks who it is, never wants to know anything. IF it is someone that wants to talk to him, he says a brief hello, I am fine, main thing you are fine, and passes it back to me before they even get a chance to say goodbye. This is the only thing he remembers how to say. Of course he never answers it either.
Sometimes I wonder, is he further along than I think?
Coco--be glad your husband doesn't have this behavior. It was so hard when this was going on that I told everyone it would be easier to communicate by email. Just the ringing of the phone disturbed my husband, to the point that I turned the volume way down and shut off the ringer on some phones.
very annoying when that would happen here as well. its been years since this occurred but as soon as the phone rang DH would follow me closely around and start talking in my ear to the point i could never hear the person on the other end. thinking he'd want to say something on the phone i'd hand it to him and he'd say 'hi' and return the phone and continue the jabbering in my ear. having a cell phone makes it easier nowdays to move to a more secure area. mothert is correct having minimal outside communications is crucial when we are stuck inside with them all day. this reminds me of very stressful times. ugh. divvi
When I am on the phone DH starts to get into everything.He is into getting things out of the cupboards and drawers and putting them in a box. He knows I don't want him in my sewing room and thinks since I am on the phone he canget away with it.He stuffs things in his pockets.The other night I weighed his jeans and theyweighed 8 lbs.No wonder they are always falling down.This gathering things is getting to me,any ideas how to stop it or at least slow it down?
I couldn't help but smile at the "jeans falling down." The image that came into my mind was box of old junk placed in the kitchen where he can help himself and stuff away to his heart's content. I'm thinking of heavy stuff like ball bearings, anything to weigh him down and let him know he's in charge in his own way.
I've been screamed at. Sometimes she will suggest that I call my brother or uncle. Other times she yells at me for being on the phone. Or why did so and so call when it was inconvenient for her. She hated when my father called.
On top of this we get lots of junk phone calls and every unwanted call is a stress on her. A number of these calls are out-and-out illegal. I tell politicians that if they call again I will vote against them.
Oh yhouniey, I remember that. Over a year ago my DH used to have his pockets FULL & I bet his jeans weighed 10 pounds! Our kids thought it was funny & I guess it was, but I didn't think so at the time! I didn't think it would ever end. I did try to reason with him when it first started (silly me!) by telling him that he didn't need so much in his pockets. I even tried to give him a “special wooden box to keep his “treasured” in, but It was gradual. I started to notice that his pockets weren't as full & now all he keeps in his pockets are paper things, napkins, kleenex, church bulletins, toilet paper (ick!) It's strange how some things they do are common with other AZ people.
Mine does also. He will sit and sigh, and watch me. Not me, when he is on the phone, I love it. He has a couple of friends who call him and they talk for a 1/2 hour of so. I sure enjoy the along time when he is one the phone.
DW is generally non communicative. She pays no attention when i'm on the phone. This could be because for years I worked from home and this is just an ingrained behavior. When the kids or her brother's call I will pass the phone to her and her greetings by the correct name has been appropriate but everything she says could be from a script. Every word in response remains exactly the same nothing indicative she comprehends anything that is being said to her After 30 seconds she'll just put down the phone on her chair or the bed and ignore it
Talking on the phone earns me about 20 minutes of tears. She doesn't 'get' what I am doing (she can't understand one side of a conversation) PLUS she is not the center of attention so out the frustration comes in crying and whining. I had to say goodbye and hang up because she just gets too excited.
I get some relief by walking with her while talking. One had on the phone one hand holding her's and then walking circles in the house or around the pool in the back yard. Thank goodness for cordless phones.
When I am done talking, then it is time to sit and try to 'reset' (stop crying) by talking to her or lying on the bed holding hands.
I had to time talking on the phone very carefully because husband would catch a word or two; only enough to cause confusion and agitation.
When I had an important and/or long call to make I would either step outside and use my landline if the range picked up or more often my cell. During the day I would also take my mobile and drive just a bit away and call from there.
More than when I talked on the phone, husband could not stand a ringing phone. No matter how soft or custom I made it, it made him very agitated. So, the phones were set to flash only. The day after he went to hospital of course the flashing started and I thought how in the world am I going to manage this because I knew the calls would be non-stop and how could I be looking at the sets constantly to see if they were flashing.
It was like an epiphany: I can turn on a ring tone. I still have it on. It is soft and custom, and I still have call id and call rejection and blocking and all that, but sheesh, when I call comes in I can hear it.
edited to say I love bluedaze's response. I certainly wish I would have thought of that.
*bluedaze now that made me chuckle :) I will admit when the telemarketers would call I did give the phone to Lynn <evil smile>
Like Divvi it has been years since this was an issue, but yes once upon a time if I was on the phone he behaved like a clingy child. Coco, we will all see things that other spouses do that ours didn't. It could mean he is further along, or it could mean any number of things, perhaps he is more secure than Lynn was?
Now if I can't go in I no longer call to talk to Lynn. A couple of years ago after my surgery I called to talk with him and he FREAKED OUT, screaming to the staff "help! HELP! my wife is trapped in this thing" Poor bugger thought I was stuck inside the phone. I can laugh about it now, at the time though it hit me rather hard.
He does do amazingly well talking to his sister or family member if I am right there with him. Shocking really....
My DH always wants to answer the phone then can hardly wait to hand it to me.If I answer he always says what was that all about? When the phone rings and I tell him I'll get it he wants tIo know what I'm tryingf to hide from him.
One of L's past behaviors would be her talking to me while I was on the phone. She would ask what the other person was saying and tell me what to tell the other person. It drove me crazy because I couldn't hear what the other person was saying because L would be constantly talking. She doesn't do that now, or at least much, but when I am on the phone I try to be as far away from her as possible. Of course everyone knows that I am limited on what I can say when she is home with me.
But even now she will ask me if I told someone something new that happened, something that no one outside of our immediate family could possibly care about. For some time her phone conversations involve her going through a list of things she wants to tell.