It was a funny day.....started like normal. Cleaned up morning pee from bedroom and bathroom floors. A pretty day blue skies, warm temperature ......yes, really lovely day. THEN mid-day hubby doubled over in pain, grabbing his side, heavy breathing. I think hmmm we've been decreasing the Ativan and increasing the reswhatever drug. Maybe Anxiety, give him an ativan and wait 20 minutes. Still moments of acute discomfort, off to the ER we go. After 5 hours of blood tests, x-rays, stool samples etc. Acute Gastric distress, most likely cause Naproxen taken for sore shoulder. Well now he's starved and wants to eat ASAP ! Go to get him some lunch........... we get home and he says I need to pee. Take him to bathroom he stands there begins to pee and while standing proceeds to poop lots and lots watery poop ............all I could do was laugh and say yes acute gastric distress. Later that night our son called and said Dad how was your day. "real good how was yours" Nobody ask me how my day was but it wasn't Mother's Day :-D
Geesh...at least you laughed some. Maybe that helped your immune system. Don't you wish all bathroom floors had a drain in the middle and a hose attached to the shower faucet?
Terry54 - I'm sorry but that was the only laugh I've had in lots of days. I guess we just laugh to keep from crying all the time. Good luck today and as others say hugs from me.
Terry54 so sorry you are dealing with all this but at least you are tackling it in the right frame of mind. we cant help what they do but we can have control over how we perceive it mentally and how we go about staying positive in the light of stressful situations. koodos to you friend!
My husband has a problem with constipation and I have been wondering what to do about it. But I have decided--maybe constipation isn't so bad after all. A lot better than some alternatives.
Nikki, that's the point I was trying to make on another thread about repetitive questioning. This job takes less of a toll on us the more we can learn to handle the stress, and humor is a great way to do it.
On a related note, I'm listening to the audio version of "Turn of Mind", a novel about a 64-year old doctor dx with AD. It is interesting that the actor who recorded the book makes the hired caregiver sound constantly stressed, regardless of what is going on. Very accurate portrayal.
Glad you all saw the humor in that moment, I know I did and I was there :) And Emily great bathroom idea, wish I thought of it, actually wish I had done it !!! Unfortunately for us we are still having the pain issues, last night included a fever (which we all know what that does) and a miserable night was had by all . Not sure what can be happening, kidney stone, gall stones, ulcer, muscle issues from all the pill. These moments of sharp discomfort pain when you don't have an appendex is baffling. But so far all poop has made it in the toilet, not the pee. Found this great product, Libman sprayer floor cleaner, had solution at the touch of a sprayer to foil the pee, removable velco pads that I throw in the washer. Ah the things that make me happy, how sad am I ?
Lori, I hate to tell you, but the constipation can be a bigger problem than the opposite. If your husband becomes impacted, it is no fun. If I were you I would add some prune juice or even prunes to his diet....or if he is not fighting you on taking pills you could introduce a stool softener to his med regime. The more fluids and fresh fruits you can get into him the better.
Yes constipation is horrible.....try Cascara (root extract dating back to stone age), and ducolax supposotories....great for those who do not give a crap....
Hey!! i am back to using the good ole Coconut oil once a week for constipation for DH. and believe me i have tried it ALL. this works so well one teaspoon if hes having issues or more as needed til he goes. hospice dr was so marveled she is recommending it to other folks for constipation as well. my aide has a poor young cancer guy who had not gone in 3wks!! and he told his mom about the coconut oil and lo and behold shes keeping him going with the coco oil. so if you have constipation issues give it a try. its less money and for my thoughts safer than the other options. divvi
After posting comments on another thread and feeling a little sorry for myself I see this one and it made me laugh. Thank you, Terry54, even though I'm sure it was nothing to laugh about for you. I went through this two days ago. That drain and hose would have come in handy.
Thank you for the Libman suggestion. The night husband was transported to hospital I checked to see that his bathroom was clear of "product" and then I closed the door on it. I know I have to get it redone, but for now it is not even on my long list. Just from potential shame, I have to get it cleaned out before any estimates.
Anyone remember the video "Sunshine Cleaning"? I wonder if there are services that will come and clean out bathrooms that have been more than compromised by all this?
abby if you would supply the libations and appetizers, (pu pu over here,)., I will clean and paint the bathroom for you. Just make sure I have a bed to fall on after.
I would even do it for nothing, any thing to make you feel a bit better.
Abby, dear sweet Abby good to see you posting again.......We've moved on to consipation at my house now. Now I massage his butt to get poop out....what do you think is better? And I agree with Nikki cut yourself tons of slack, the bathroom can wait.
Terry54 get yourself a tub of extra virgen COCONUT oil from whole foods or similair and give DH a teaspoon daily in the am with breakfast. he will be going soon enough! no laxatives or other meds needed. LOL i am using it weekly now as well. it works wonders! divvi
Wow Terry I didn't know whether to gasp, giggle or cry. We are on totally parallel poopy lives. My dh rarely feels pain however. I buy those wipe things (lysol or clorox whatever on sale) from Costco ... I know not "green" but every time I go in the bathroom I have to wipe up some surface of poo, pee or just unknown... plus he walks around the house... leaving sticky finger marks on all surfaces. He refuses to use his cane or walker in the house so uses counters and walls and knobs and why are his hands always dirty?
Grendelsma, my how funny a parrell poopy buddy, we continue to go from solid poop to loosey,goosey in a moments notice. Once we have the loosey goosey one I use the Teva briefs for safety and my sanity. This weekend we used the urinal for every pee moment. This means (know I don't know why) he takes all his cloths off to pee, it's like all of a sudden I am married to George Costanza . Ok the good side, no pee on the floor just my hands..... bad side yes now we have to redress every time. My hubby washes his hands a zillion times a day and then shakes them off on the floor and his cloths ......he pre-soaks the floor for washing ? But my new handy dandy Libman mop cleans it up. I did put a handle on one side of the toilet so that anxiety issue of not knowing where or how to sit has been elminated. The every changing life of things and gagits.
Lloyd got up next to the bed this morning and started to pee. I know it is rather indelicate, but I grabbed his crotch and led him to the bathroom. What can I say? Stops the flow and we get to where we need to be. A year ago I would have cried over pee on the carpet. Have I graduated?
Yes, Miss Linda you have :) I will share with you my new best friend: Hand held male Urinal. I now have them in every room......and you know what, they work. Hubby has now clue what it is but my wash load and clean up has drop by 80%. I love my new best friend :-D so does my tired washer machine. Doesn't help my night time because he a seperate room but that's a new and improved restricted area and that's working better too !
I'm glad you all can laugh at this part of taking care of an AD husband (or wife). It's hard for me to laugh about it. I just had my shower, got all dressed up to go out, and when I came out of the bathroom DH told me "I'm sorry but I had an accident." He isn't as far gone as some of your spouses are so he has some insight into this and I was as calm as I could be in front of him. But inside I'm upset. Now I have to get down on my hands and knees and clean the toilet and the bathroom floor and it just doesn't seem funny to me. I wish I had a sense of humor about this, as it's beginning to happen more and more. I leave Lysol Wipes in each bathroom, asking him to please use these if an accident happens. He cleans the toilet and floor with toilet paper!
Oh Bev, if I didn't laugh i'd never get out of bed! I know exactly how you feel, it's a never ending job of cleaning up poop and pee. Yesterday I got up showered and dress for work, I mistakenly turned the alarm off to his room (floor mat that rings like a door chime, and it awakens me from a sound sleep in the middle of the night). I go back up to dry my hair and hear this yelling for me, I come down stairs to a kitchen full of pee and him walking through it. Got him out of the pee and in a chair, washed the floor got him changed and back to bed ............well I got up stairs and my hair dried and I look like a re-ject from a cira 1960 Dolly Parton concert (minus the boobs). I had no time to fix it and had one of the worst Hair days I have ever, ever had. Well I took a picture and send it to my BFF's to say that's what a morning of pee will do to you. What else could I do, my hubby doesn't know what he did or why it was wrong. I find myself saying stupid stuff like "we don't pee in the kitchen" but lets face he doesn't know the kitchen from the bathroom. When I have those moments of loosing it and just look into his lost eyes and scold myself for being stupid, because at that point I must be ............he doesn't understand, he doesn't.
Bev we understand first hand how dreadful the cleaning up and toileting can be for a full grown person. it is quite distasteful as we well know, but we have to say the first times are so much worse than once you 'sorta' get used to it. nobody likes cleaning up poop and pee. but we cant leave it and just have to get to the task of taking over and trying to get them to the comodes on a time frame possibly to help avoid the messes. i am sure your DH is quite distraught over making the mess and if they could help themselves they would nobody wants to have someone clean up after them. its especially traumatic for us too when we have plans and they have an accident prior. i cant tell you how many times i put my DH into the back seat of the car, showered dressed and all cleaned up only to have him poop then and there i strapped him in. sigh. just remembering it brings unpleasant thoughts. but as time goes by and we contend with this it will become a bit less stressful to deal. many of us say its humour that keeps us sane in times like this. if not i'd never have gotten this far in the timeline. i am sorry though you are feeling upset and know the feeling well. divvi
My DH wears Depends Guards for Men, but was always taking them off sitting on the side of the bed and then dripping all the way to the bathroom. He kept telling me to call the carpet cleaner to clean the carpet (what good would that do?) I checked and luckily there is a hardwood floor under the carpet. I spent four days cutting the carpet and taking it up in strips. The tack strip was the worst. Then I went to Walmart and got a cheap 3 x 5 rug to put next to the bed. It's easier to police the couple of feet between the rug and the bathroom door than to scrub carpet. When it gets bad I'll go get another rug.
Thanks Divvi for putting things in perspective. Yes, my DH was remorseful and felt so bad, that's why I don't get mad at him. I know he can't help it but, still, the idea of getting down on my hands and knees several times a day, or having to clean the toilet every single time I use it just gets to me sometimes. I hope you're right and I'll just do all these things as though they're a normal everyday part of life, but right now I really hate having to do it. He's a good man and I'm trying so hard to be as patient as I can with him. Most of the time I do really well, I really do. Sometimes I'm amazed at myself. But if there's anything I've learned since the beginning of this disease, it's to get away from him when I'm feeling like I'm going to burst and either go outside or into another room until I calm down so he can't see me. This I have learned from an early support group, but especially from people like Divvi on this wonderful site.
and if its one thing we also learn is that our explosive feelings do not last long and its a very good idea to walk away and get distracted and cool down. yes its always amazing that we can adapt and survive these dreadful incidents that occur while caregiving. you should be very proud of yourself Bev for trying to give him the benefit of the doubt and stepping up to the plate like this even under tedious and stressful conditions. yay bev! :) and all the rest of you who are working thru these terrible parts. patience is golden divvi
Divvi, I just don't know. It's either humor that keep us sane or insanity that makes it humorous! I have horrible memories of Lloyd peeing on the brand new carpet in our bedroom for the first time. We had been in the house for about 12 years and when my mom passed away I used the money to add a third floor for Maria to come home and got all brand new carpet everywhere. I vaguely recall saying something like "my mom died so I could have new carpet". AND if any of you tell anybody, I will swear you all are lying!
Can you tell me if incontinence begins gradually or all at once? I want to be as prepared as possible. The bed is all set. Thanks to Vickie for that one.
Does pee problem usually begin before poop?
This probably seems trite to some of you but after I read some of the posts I really get worried.
In my wife's case it was pee, then poop with diarrhea. After we cleared the diarrhea by reducing her metformin for diabetes I now mainly deal with pee as long as I remember to take her to the bathroom at least every 2-3 hours and if she gets up and starts acting nervous.
I know I am not suppose to make jokes or light of a delicate situation. But if you follow Vicki's advice, have your ducks in a row, clean up can be easy, smells can be contained and always remember we all do it.....poop and pee that is, we just remember where to do it. Doing trial runs with hubby help me find the product that work best for him. Plus got him use to the idea of wearing a night time garment. Now if loosey goosey stuff happens I put him in that garment for that day for protection, I tell him it's for his protection but really it's mine on clean up patrol. Don't get worried, just try to think ahead. And I think it all depends on which comes first, medications, age (especially men) can all play factors. And always remember accidents will happen at the worst time, that you can be sure of :)
its my opinion that pee comes first. simply because u basically pee more during the day than poop. *(hopefully :) so it seems to make sense that with more times to pee during the day it would be the first to go awry. since most only poop once a day? *(again hopefully:) that would be second. remember though not everyone has these problems. if the connections brain/bladder/sphincter remain pretty much in tact and not the first to go as in our case, it may not happen for a very long time dont stress over what hasnt happened or may not!! if it does at least you will have some knowledge beforehand and not freak out. and lots of helpful folks here who can help guide you thru it. also agree, if meds dont agree with them sometimes tummy upset is the side effect. divvi
linda, i like that 'insanity that keeps it humorus! good one and probably more realistic!
shirley--check the Fisher Center site for stages of the disease. Urinary incontinence precedes fecal incontinence in AD (but not all patients have them).
For newer members, shortly after I joined this site in 2008, Divvi was designated "Poop Queen" and proudly wore the crown, proclaiming her expertise in this area. I recall that she tried repeatedly to hand the honor off to others, but I do believe that she still holds the title to this day.
because nobody wants this title!!!! grin. i am happy to keep it on hand and be the guardian, just in case. :)now some have owned up to being recipient of 'queen for a day' but then they jubilantly fedex it back to me! it doesnt bother me in the least to be the crowned queen! divvi
Lloyd has never had a poop accident, just pee. If I really keep an eye on him I can tell when he has to poop. He hunches over and makes a face like he has a belly ache. Then we hightail it for the bathroom and have always made it. I'm just not ready for poop yet! We kinda have a bathroom schedule and I always try to talk him into trying to poop when he's in there.