I posted last week about my husband, Gary's condition. He started having seizures and then was found to have pneumonia after he was in ICU on a ventilator. He passed away Sat. morning after the ventilator was removed. He wasn't able to benefit from a feeding tube and on Fri. afternoon, I made the difficult decision to begin palliative care. I stayed with him through Fri. night and I was with him when he took his last breath Sat. morning. There was a look of relief on his face just before, and I hope he found peace. Gary passed on the anniversary of his father's death, and I want to believe that his dad came to get him after this long hard struggle.
I thought I would be ready for this after all these years, but I found I really wasn't. The boys are taking it well, as they felt like he had already passed. He hadn't been able to communicate with them for quite a while, and it had become too hard for them to see him in the nursing home.
Yesterday, the boys and I went to see Gary's mother and brother. It was difficult, but comforting too. His brother has so many stories about their younger years.
In the midst of all this, I arranged for Gary's brain to be donated for medical research. They are going to do thorough testing and hopefully give me a definitive diagnosis, and determine whether this is genetic or not. I need this for myself and the boys.
We'll have a simple memorial service next week.
Thank you all for your kindness and support over these past several years. I've found this to be a place of comfort, encouragement, and strength. I'm so grateful that Joan started this site.
Oh Kelly, applaud you for making the rational but painful decision to proceed with palliative care. It is the most unselfish act you could have done. I am sure he is at peace with his father. May you find comfort in knowing that you were an extraordinary caregiver for your beloved husband. My hearfelt sympathy for you and your sons.
Kelly, my deepest condolences and hertfelt sympathy for you and the boys. You have been an extraordinary caregiver and now Gary is at peace. My love and support to you and your family.
kelly, praying that you & the boys can find comfort & peace in the days ahead. It was nice that their Uncle could tell them happy stories about their Dad. You have been an amazing caregiver & now that part is over. Now concentrate on taking care of your sons. (((HUGS))) to you!
My prayers are with you and your family. He is at peace and hopefully you and your boys can draw upon this knowledge to have peace within you. God Bless.
You and your children are so young to have had to endure this horrible journey. As was your husband. I hope you and your family can find peace and comfort in the days ahead. My deepest condolences to you.
Oh Kelly, there are just no words....this is such a sad event in your familys young life...I love it that you find comfort in knowing that it was his dad who came to help him make the transition from this life to a life filled with peace and comfort..He and his dad will be watching over all of you from their new place, wherever "heaven" is...that is a precious comforting thought for all of you. Arms around..
May peace and comfort surround you and your sons. A different frontier awaits you and you'll succeed in that as you have during the long dementia journey.
kelly, I have always identified with your story because my father-in-law was dx when Steve and his sister were teenagers. If I recall, your children are even younger. I hope you and your family can heal from this horrible experience and have peace in the future.
Kelly, I am so sorry for you and your family but so glad your husband was calm before passing. It seems you have a great family to help all of you heal from this ordeal. I am praying for all of you.
Kelly, you are so brave. You showed the ultimate act of love to Gary. My prayers are with you and the boys in the coming months. May God grant the peace that passes all understanding.
I just wanted to take a moment to thank all of you for your kind and comforting words. I have found so much support and comfort in this place, and I will continue to read your posts and contribute if I can.
Kelly, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. One is never ready to let go of someone we love. The love you shared and the memories of your husband will be there to comfort you.