I haven't posted in awhile but I lurk here from time to time. My DH Gary has been continuing to deteriorate over the past month or so. His stiffness and pain seemed to be increasing so the Dr. put him on a medicine for that. Over the weekend, he started having seizures and the NH sent him to the hospital. He's now in ICU on a ventilator. He's not able to breathe on his own, and it doesn't look like his condition is going to improve.
I gave our two older boys (age 14 and 11) the choice of going to see him. They said they want to go, so I'll be taking them there today or tomorrow. It's going to be so hard. They're so young to have to go through this. I don't think I would bring our 6 year old. He's way too young to have to see his dad like this.
It looks like I'm going to be in the horrible position of having to decide to let them take him off the ventilator in the next few days. I know it's the best thing. His brother feels it's best too. Even before he started going downhill, he was very unresponsive. I know he wouldn't want to go on like this.
I don't know how I'll have the strength to get through this. But I know so many of you have done it with courage and strength. I don't know how.
Oh, Kelly, how hard for you all to have to go through this! I agree with your decision to let the boys see their Dad. My arms are around you and I will pray for strength and peace for you.
Kelley, my prayers are with you and your boys. You have been a real trooper through all of this. I pray that God will give you strength and peace. Sometimes letting go is the hardest part of all. Please feel my arms around you and your sons.
It's good that you have the support of his brother in this horribly difficult thing to do.
Try to remember you are not ending anything. The disease is. You know he wouldn't want to go on like this and his brother agrees. I'm sorry that it's you that has to face this very hard thing.
To not make him continue artificially is what the family believes he would want. That's what it is and it isn't anything else.
Dear Kelly, you have handled this horrendous situation for a very long time and with such grace, wisdom and strength that I am sure you will make the right decisions and persevere. You are still young, with a life ahead of you, and I know that life will be good. As Susan would say, "arms around."
Yes...I agree with you to take your boys to see their Dad. My father died when I was 15 and I still hold him close in my heart and will always remember the last time I saw him in the hospital. He died hours after I was there. Remember we are all here for you in our hearts and prayers.
Kelly, my heart goes out to you & your sons & brother-in-law. May you find the strength to make the right decision. Your boys are blessed to have you for a mother.
Kelly - My DH had trouble breathing, he had on an oxygen mask, and passed peacefully. I think it is best to take your boys to see him if they want to go. We can never shelter our children from everything -- or anything, really. You're a good wife and mother, I know it has to be so hard -- I send you strength. Betty
I am sorry that you and your boys are having to go through this. Strength is what you need in order to get through this and also remembering that Gary would not want to be like this, he would not want to live like this. I also think that bringing the kids to see him is important. I will be thinking of you and your family! What a wonderful brother-in-law!
Thank you all for your kind words and support. It truly helps.
Good news is he hasn't had any seizures today. They will see if he can be weaned from the ventilator probably tomorrow. If not, I'll have a difficult choice to make. My feeling is that I wouldn't let them put him back on it. But I have to make sure I've completed the brain donation/autopsy request first. I'm determined to do this so that we may finally know what caused this. And hopefully get reassurance that our boys aren't at risk.
Dear Kelly...it has all been said. You are an awesome mother and wife. Let your beloved husband go in peace so that you and the children can now build on the wonderful memories you had before this dreadful disease.
Kelly, you are so brave in the face of all of this...I don't know how anyone does this...but you, in the face of such a loss with such young kids...It is a wonderful thing to have the support of his bother throughout all of this. Prayers for you from all of us attend you and your family.
Kelly, this is a rough time for you and your children. You are strong and will give that strength to your kids. Please don't ever second guess what you have done or may have to do before this battle is over. You are a trooper and are doing a great job. Your children will honor you for all you do. We honor you. I am praying for all of you and for your dh to do what he feels he needs to do. If that is let go, then I pray for this. Peace and comfort to you and the kids from my heart to yours......Hugs....