It rained all day finally. We had almost no snow and almost no rain compared to normal. Today it was raining when I got up and it never stopped until a couple of hours ago. We needed it.
I hope everyone in the trenches has a fortunate June and light a spiritual candle for those now battling alone. May no one ever give up hope no matter how dark the horizon may appear. Ancient mariners survived their own terrible storms by concentrating on the wave they were in one at a time.
As for me, I think self-help is better in the back seat or like a radio playing in the other room. Writing a book like Surviving Tragedies for Dummies (that title is not apparently taken although Grief for Dummies is) is a little like hammering nails into a roof. The reader would have the problem already and direct instruction like that should be applied before the grief is already there. Anyways, I think a warmup book that explores the ideas on a cousin might be a good thing. So I'm considering writing the book: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Fat.
Those two are actually closer related than cousins. One is learning esteem and authorization in shape concepts. The other is shaping esteem in authorization concepts. In other words they're both about learning to be happier in particular circumstances.
You are going to die so you may want to read more quickly. On the other hand everybody dies so why not relax? ...and so forth
We were warm - weather underground said 86 today. Now it is raining - has been for the last hour. That is OK - it can rain at night and be nice during the day.
Drippy and stormy here last night. Dog had to wear her Thundershirt. Finally getting through a pile of piled-up work, and maybe will be able to vacuum up the extra layer of dog fur soon.
When you find something to keep them occupied, Vickie, please share it with us. I get up every morning and try to think of something he can do. We usually just get in the car and go somewhere. Not much gets done here at home, though.
Well,Dazed, he took a nap after breakfast. Never has napped until I started the Keppera. This isn't going to work if he naps in the mornings, as he, hopefully, will be starting to "volunteer" at daycare after 6/23. Afternoons is sundowning from about 2:00 on; then to bed at 6 p.m. After lunch took him with me to get the car filled with gas. The price was down so that was good! Now he is back in recliner, looking at the crossword puzzles - doesn't fill them out much anymore. What to do, what to do???
Dazed...that was my "solution" for years. The daily lunch and errands outing, because it was the only way I could come up with to keep us both marginally entertained. He couldn't DO anything, so by extension I couldn't DO much, but he could ride around with me, walk around the grocery store next to me, or accompany me on not-too-challenging trips. Story of the my last 5 or 6 years. It worked until the utterly crazy side of Alzheimer's hit hard and fast.
Lets see.....eats breakfast then goes for a nap. Eats lunch then goes for a nap. Eats dinner then goes for a nap. It would be comical in a black humour sort of way if it didn't mean I had to stay around home all the time. But it could be worst....wait it will get worst.
IT's raining and it makes me feel low. Plus my birth mother died last week and my brother a couple of months ago. I wish for all of us lots of happy things in our lifes.
Oh, Amber, I am so sorry to hear of the deaths of your Mother and Brother. So much sadness is around here these days. I, too, wish for happy times in our lives. Arms around you.
Beautifully cool in So. Tenn today. Nice sunshine and gentle breeze. Sister coming to visit for a month haven't seen her in over a year. Be great to have someone who can actually carry on a conversation.
Oh Wolf I just love what you wrote about the ancient mariners – “they survived their own terrible storms by concentrating on the wave they were in one at a time”. I need to do that. I need to deal with what is going on NOW & not worry about what might happen. I know that I have to plan for the future, but I can't let that keep me from dealing with what is in front of me.
I love that writing too Wolf, and I feel so blessed lately...something is happening to me...perhaps it is that 10 hours respite I get per week, perhaps it is the moon phase, or maybe the red wine, but whatever it is, I hope it lasts. Feeling hope, happiness and a bit of joy among the sadness, hanging on to it, as I am afeard there will be a time like emily says, when the Az hits hard and fast.
Could it be, that, I am growing through this? I come here to this site and read and weep, and sometimes feel selfish that I can still have fun. (though I did not expect it again)
Amber I am so sorry about your Mother and Brother!
The wave in front of them couldn't affect them. It was just visiblity on what was coming. Only the wave they were in could affect them. That's what they concentrated on.
I've sailed in different parts of the world. I've been in some of those storms and you get through them one moment at a time and block out everything else.
June isn't starting out too good. My granddaughter leaves tomorrow morning for Tanzania for a 2 year stint with the Peace Corps,I am proud of her but miss her already.Then her brother says he expects to be deployed over seas soon(marines).Ipray for both their safety.DH is upset but I know he will forget by tomorrow and ask me again where she is going.He doesn't know why she wants to go to Africa.He keeps looking for his parents(both dead many years).How to handle this every day is getting to me.He wants me to call them on the phone,I tell him I don't have their #,they've moved.Anyone else have this problem?
Yhouniey, I feel your pain. My 19-yr-old grandson joined the Navy. He lived here with the rest of his family and I miss him so much. Any time his Grandpa couldn't navigate the steps, he would just pick him up and carry him to bed. If Grandpa got aggressive, Sebastian would be there to intercede. It's so hard without him. Maybe you could make an album with photos of hubby's parents for him to look at. Of course, I don't know how many photos you have. I have 2 photos on our bedroom wall - one of him and his brother standing with his parents by an old car (about 58 yrs. ago) and another of his parents taken about 2 years ago. He loves looking at them. They are still with us and I must say the Alz may make it easier if anything does happen to them. God, where did that comment come from??? Rubber room, here I come!!!
Rain and cool temperatures here in Vancouver, B.C. I've been thinking about you, Charlotte, and hoping that you're dry and not chilled in the campground.
Unfortunately, it has been cool, wet and windy - lucky to make 60. At least it has not rained the last couple days, but it is cool and breezy. Tomorrow the winds are suppose to die down and warm up to 75 and stay in the upper 70s, low 80s hopefully for the rest of summer. I know, that is wishful thinking the way this year has gone.
Today I kind of got some revenge. I checked a guy in with a 40ft 5th wheel. He didn't want to unhook so put him in a 70ft spot. But, our pedestals are too far up front and his power cord would not reach. He came and asked if he could pulling the wrong way and said it was OK. (others have done it). Well, some of you know the stress there is with another workamper couple, especially the guy - J, now since his wife and I worked it out. The site is across from them and he went over to tell the guy he was parked the wrong way. I guess the guy was not nice to him and yelled out a bunch of profanity to him. 'J' went to the manager and told him. The manager came to ask if the guy was nasty to me and I told him no and what was going on. In all fairness, this guy was not the nicest guy, had no sense of humor - basically in a bad mood. But, I did my job and was courteous and I think he had the manors not to use profanity with a female. If 'J' had come ask me first instead of trying to be a boss, a lot of problems would be avoided. A part of me feels he got what he deserved trying to act like he is the manager. I am sorry the customer had to encounter him.
the last three days Art kept showing up at work to ask if I needed anything to eat or drink - often only 15 minutes after he had been there (of course he doesn't remember). Today I actually had 2 hours without him showing up -it was heavenly. I take my drink and snack (usually fruit) with me, but I think he just needs to see me.
My DIL phoned last night - I don't hear from my kids, but she calls me at least weekly. All my family think she divorced my son but she has not been able to take that final step - she just has a legal separation. She was at my sister 'D' last night. She is the sister that had a stroke 2 1/2 years ago and definitely suffers from VaD as far as I am concerned. She is getting ready to drive to the SF area from Vanc. WA to her daughter's. She planned to take her van since her daughter wants her to bring a lot of stuff down. This van has not been driven since last year some time. She took to fill it up with gas and the gas ran all over the ground. Now, whether the tank was already full (guess gage is broken) or what I dont' know. She called AAA to have it towed to somewhere. She found some lady to take her home. She managed to tell DIL once the name of where it was towed but then kept forgetting. DIL had her write it own but she still kept forgetting. From what DIL tells me she buys fruits and vegies all the time, leaves them on the counter where they rot - the kitchen is full of fruit flies.
I sent my niece an email today telling her what I was told. Asked her to please let me know when her mom arrives so I know she made it safely. She normally will stop at Medford overnight then drive the rest of the way the next day. Last time she drove down she drove straight through. She should not be driving. Her eyesight is getting worse according to my DIL. Oh, my DIL seems to be the only one that can handle her, when she tells her she has forgot, will take it Ok from. I am very tempted to notify driver licensing about her - to have her tested, but am hoping her daughter will intervene. I also asked my niece to look at her mom with 'outside' eyes while she is down there. Both her and her brother seem to be blinded to her condition. My sister knows she has memory problems, jokes about it, says she should go to the doctor and get medicine, but does not. Her kids need to step in. Oh, she has always had a BO problem - I guess it is worse now cause she doesn't shower everyday.
Hb gets restless and wants to walk. I guess good cause it gets me out walking, but I feel I am having to entertain him when I do. He use to walk the park and will when I am working, but if I am home, if I don't walk he sits outside in his chair. I hate to whine with all the loss we have had lately in our family here.
Oh Charlotte. Thankfully your DIL provides support for you even though she is close to being an ex-relative.
You need to notify the DMV about your sister. You make it clear that her children are not going to take action anytime soon (though hopefully her daughter will if her mother makes it safely to her). If your sister got into an accident and hurt someone else I don't think you would forgive yourself. It also sounds like you sister needs to be evaluated as to whether she should live on her own.
Of course your hands are already full so I am not suggesting that you take charge. Hopefully her daughter will do so, but since she is asking her mom to drive a van to bring down stuff for her I wouldn't be too hopeful.
I had an interesting experience yesterday. Our local (Maine) Alz. Assoc. put on an all-day meeting on "Living With Dementia" for caregivers, family members, professionals, etc. The key-note speaker was Dr. Kathleen J. Rusnak, an "International speaker and author". She talked on the "Spiritual Dimensions of Dementia", and then led a workshop on the same topic. She was excellent. During lunch I joined 2 other spousal caregivers on a panel discussion of problems we have had and how we solved them. Since I had just recently been rushed to the hospital I talked about the need to have a back-up plan for care of our LO's. The day care facility my wife attends stayed open later than usual so I could attend the entire meeting.
Not many general comments for June, so I'll add another. Over this past weekend I had the pleasure of meeting Fran DeVoss (Frand* for you old-timers). Her husband died about 4 years ago. She is now living in a motor home and travelling around the country. After leaving me she joined a group of 22 motor homes going on a 48 day tour of the maritime provinces of Canada. We had a great time while she was here and I got to show her some of the non-touristy parts of Maine, including a working fishing village. Briegull*, thanks for suggesting that she stop by.
Marsh- you are indeed blessed, and so fortunate to have met Fran....I have not had the privilege, but she is living proof that there is Life after Alz.....
Back in the 90s I belonged to a Christian online depression support group. I got to know some great people and keep in touch with a couple ladies. In 2008 as we went through W. VA I stopped to meet one of them. It was so great to put not just a face, but a live body to a name.I have met one person from this site and that was good. I can only imagine meeting people from this site that has been on the same journey, is much the same.
Well, if I ever feel 'blue' I'll contact you people! It was such a pleasure to meet Marsh, and see his devotion to Marge. I loved meeting Sandi and will always remember the light and airy feeling of her home and life, and of course, bluedaze and her visit to San Diego. I can never express the importance of this group and the connections I have made because of an awful disease. Stay safe, all of you, and, as I roam around our country I hope to meet even more of you. None of us would have wanted to have a spouse with Alzheimer's, but we did/or have. The plus of this is friendship through this site.
frand, so glad you checked in. It's like hearing from an old friend. You were one of the faithful people on here when I first joined. I remember when you lost your DH. It was so sad but it's wonderful to hear that you're doing fun things and enjoying life now.
I met Fran this winter when she and lmohr were in Palm Springs, CA and I was there visiting a friend. It's so great to meet friends from this website in person.
I am at work right now. I am listening to the oldies and the song "the End of the World' was playing. I have always loved that song - sang it when breaking up, but now it has different meaning. It is 'the End of the World' with this disease. He has gone away, broke my heart. Our worlds have ended as we knew them. Our spouse has gone away, broke our heart (actually the disease broke our heart).
We spent 3 hours walking around the park talking with guest. Hb loves doing that and I do too. I am the only workamper that mingles with the guest and long term people - they are missing out. But then, I love RV people. Anyway, when we got home a little after 10 he was exhausted - probably from trying to be normal for so long - and went to bed after ice cream.
I feel so good after talking and laughing with our guest. Of course, a couple different sites we were talking to people that were not feeling much pain. I would say they had a great day of wine tasting and continued it back at camp!
Charlotte, so good to hear that you had a good time. I know that you have had issues with that lady who just doesn't get it, so it's nice that you can mingle with the guests & have some pleasant conversations.
June has not been a good month for me. My back has been bothering me for the last few weeks, had to have the air conditioning system replaced and today our water heater started to leak. I'm going to owe Sears my life, but at least we have been able to get 0% financing.
The only really nice thing this month is that on June 29, my parents' will celebrate their 55th wedding anniversary and my Grandmother will turn 99. My sister is having a bbq on Saturday to celebrate. My husband does well at her house and he just adores my sister. :)
Speaking of anniversaries, today is our 58th. But my wife has no clue as to this being a special day. Since it's my regular Rotary day, and I have someone to be with her, I'm going to Rotary. What a way to spend an anniversary!!!! :-(
happy anniversary Marsh. Even though she doesn't know, you do. You have give 58 years to her including AD journey with her. You have done a great job.
My 6 year old granddaughter phoned me tonight to let me know she lost her first tooth. She was kind of bummed when school was out because she was the only one in her kindergarten class to not loose a tooth. I feel privileged to be the third one to know (mom and brother first two). Oh, the joys of growing up.