It's been awhile since I have written anything on the site, even though I have been reading everyone else's comments. My beloved Neil passed away 19th April, not peacefully unfortunately though, they (at the nursing home) at last realised, when he was screaming in pain, that what I was saying all along , he had something else as well. The Dr. put him on sub.cut. morphine for the last two weeks' so he died reasonably comfortably, but still with every waking moment crying with the pain and not knowing anyone most of the time. I think sometimes he knew I was there though. It is hard to wish him back seeing as he was in such a bad condition, and sometimes I feel guilty about that, and the fact that I can still find enjoyment in things and he can't. I will always believe he had a cancer in his upper abdomen, where they were treating him for reflux for the last two years. Anyhow he is at peace now and I have to rebuild the rest of what's left of my life, a bit hard at 73 !
I am so sorry for you and your beloved Neil. After all we go through prayers for a peaceful passing can be all we have left. He must have known you were there and that must have eased his passing. He would want you to be at peace too....Sending sympathy and condolences.
There's no good thing to say when we lose our spouse in such a way; but, there is the love and support you gave him when he needed you so much. Try not to feel guilty about still having life. Remember that all the moments and all the memories that you and Neil were are still inside you. And while you continue your own life as bravely as you can - the memories of his moments also continue.
Sylvia, Neil is whole and at peace now. You did all you could and saw him through. May you now find peace as you continue your life, knowing your memories carry him with you in your heart.
Please accept my condolences also,the guilt thing never goes away,I feel it myself an I'm starting over at 75,others older here,somehow we all muddle along until its our time to"move on"
As a nurse am always horrified when the healthcare team does not listen to a family member! I am glad you perservered and got help for your beloved husband. You should find peace in knowing that you were there for him right to the very end. And as you thought you knew about his pain, you could sense it, if you sensed he knew you were there with him, I am sure he did. Take care of yourself now.
Oh Sylvia, my heart breaks for you. My thoughts & prayers are with you as you mourn Neil's loss & try to remember the good times you had together. (((HUGS))) to you.
Reaching down to Aussie to put arms around. You will heal, I promise. In the meantime, take comfort that you saw him through to the end, and of course he knew.
Sylvia, I am so sorry for your loss but so happy for your loved one b/c the pain is over. I pray for peace for you as you start on this next leg of our journey. 73 is not old you will find your way. You are a tough survivor. Hugs
This is such a sad post...to know your DH was in such pain and there was not a reason given and that something better could not have been given him for his fears and pain..and how this hurt your heart too. I cannot imagine what you are going through right now...We all send our hugs and support to you and all your family at this difficult time.
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I pray that in time the bad memories will be replaced with peace. And that your future will be a time for healing and at some point you can let go and have joy return to your life. It is a hard road but after what you have already gone through it will get better as time goes on. What is past is past and now you can move forward once again with your life. Hugs and prayers coming your way.
Sylvia - I, too, was 73 when DH died 10 yrs ago. We each do it in our own way, but I do have a new life still attached in many ways to the old, but w/out DH. At the moment things are bleak for you looking at the future, but Nature will guide you to a new life, really, we have no choice in the matter--it's the survival instinct. I send you courage and strength. Betty
So sorry, Sylvia. They probably couldn't have treated the cancer if that's what he had but they certainly could have eased his pain with medication sooner. {{{Hugs}}}
Prayers and comfort for the hours and days to come. I see it has been over a month but in many ways probably seems like yesterday. Whatever was causing the pain, he is pain free now. Please do not feel guilty - you were there battling for him to the end. You did a great job, now rest in peace knowing that - no guilt.
Please accept my deepest condolences on your husband's passing. You have both been released from the grip of Alzheimer's Disease. He is at peace. I hope that, in time, you will find comfort in the good memories before AD.
I am so sorry Sylvia, I wish I was there to give you a hug. I am glad that Neil is finally at rest. I hope that you can find some peace in knowing that he is no longer in pain. Take care of yourself now!
Please accept my condolences on the loss of your dear husband. I praise God for making him whole and pain free again. Now it is your time to heal from the horrible ordeal you have been in for so long. Peace and rest to you...
Sylvia, please accept my condolences on your dear husband's death. I am glad you were there to ease his suffering and now you can remember him before the pain.