DH has finally agreed to "volunteer" at our local ALZ Respite Center. Got the process started this morning, but will take about 2 wks. to finalize his enrollment. Why do these things take so long??? Hope he won't be out of the mood by then. Gets his TB skin test tomorrow; then a 2 hour interview with me within the next couple of weeks. Good news is, it only will cost at the most $5.24 per hour - and only 2 hours per month is required to keep him enrolled. And, I can drop him off, leave him for as long as I like, then pick him up whenever.

Not too happy with their activities - literally none of interest- but I don't plan to leave him but a couple of hours at a time - always in the mornings, which is his best time. 3 days one week, 2 days the next.

He told me he was getting to be afraid to be left alone, that he wouldn't know what to do if something happened. Can't dial a phone now and most times won't answer the phone. So....dear God, make it happen.

Oh Vicki, I am sending special prayers that is works for him, but mostly for you. My DH never bought into the idea that he was helping at the daycare, even though the staff tried their best to convince him he was. If they don't have activities maybe you can suggest something that he likes & he really can help & get others interested. That may all be too much for him, but I will keep good thoughts for you.

I'm really happy for you Vickie.

Don't talk yourself out of the hours you can get and afford. Things may change and make it not work well somewhere; but, some hours for yourself to get things done and just breath are priceless.

You can't stop it from feeling strange about it at first but it's got to be true that some of these breaks even if they're not fabulous for him (we all have to give a little), will help you get some relief and that will keep you stronger when (and if) the situation changes again.

Make yourself plan and get those hours at the start. You can always curb back later.

Great Vickie, Don't count on your DH not being interested in the activities....I never thought in a million years my DH would do balloon tosses but he is. He has also done jigsaw puzzles. I don't suppose they are the kind for adults but I never thought he would do anything like that either. Who knows what they will do as they regress. Enjoy you free time.

My DH loved to dance so he was very popular when he went to Day Care. He was one of the few men who danced.

Great News Vickie-the hours Paul spends at the DC are my "try to do everything in a few hours time" but it is GREAT.

Vickie, you sound so much like me. I used to say my husband would NEVER enjoy doing this or that.. but I was thinking of the man he used to be. You need to let your husband go and let them work him into different activities ... who knows?

I was thinking of my husband the professional, the intellect, .. and I tried to keep him surrounded with the magazines he loved to read, turning TV onto political programs he never wanted to miss, --- and I found out that the man he was now didn't have one bit of interest in those things. Toys that he could wind up and then watch them do flips, clang cymbals, or dance around amused him and he was happy playing with them. We have to just let them go and play to the 'age' they are as the disease progresses.

Good luck with the respite time. Take advantage of every minute. Realize they lose the concept of time, so what seems like a long time to you may not seem that long to them. Just take it day by day.

DH's PT ended today. He is walking better and seems a little stronger, since his bad bout with Keppra, which knocked him for a loop. He has been accepted at the ALZ Respite Center for any hours I desire. Will try to start him Monday, if he will agree to go. I can drop him off anytime and pick him up anytime, although they would like for me to stay a couple of hours with him the first day, including lunch. I sure hope it works for him, I need the time!

Great news, Vickie. When I started my wife at the day center I went there each day to have lunch with her (and satisfy myself that everything was going OK) That lasted only a couple of months. Now I drop her off at 9 AM and pick her up at 2 PM (or later if I have something special to do).

Vickie--adult day programs saved my sanity for a number of years. There may be bumps in the road, but persist--they can be worked out.

Well, I got him there this morning around 10. They all just gushed over him and brought him in and introduced him to everyone, while I filled out the paperwork. I left about 1/2 hr. later - they were sitting doing exercises and he was participating. I watched a while longer and the leader started asking him questions about himself since he was the new kid on the block. I was amazed that he was so alert and answered most of the questions correctly! I left him until after they served lunch. NO PROBLEMS! He thanked everyone when we left and said how nice it was. When we got in the car and drove the few blocks home, he said he didn't realize it was so close to home - that he thought he was "far away from me". He was so happy about that! He has talked about ever since we got home. He couldn't tell me what all they did, but he just said it was a "nice place". He is probably the most alert one there, so I hope it will work out tomorrow and Friday when I TRY to leave him!

Thanks to you all for your suggestions - they worked - today!

This is such good news! Hurrah!

Good Vickie, I hope It works every day and you enjoy a few hours free from caregiving.

Took him for eye exam this morning, then to drop him off at the ALZ Center. He did not remember going yesterday and was very hesitant, but I told him I had to go to work and I'd be back after they served his lunch. Eating does it every time! Was gone about 2-1/2 hours; picked up some supplies for the Center; had a solitary lunch and picked him up. They said he got a little antsy a couple of times but they were able to re-direct him. I did introduce myself to all the patients today - there were 8 women and just 1 man today. Still not happy with their schedule of activities, but I'll work on that later! When he leaves he says he had a good time, but then doesn't remember going by the time we drive 5 blocks home! Will try again Friday.

You are doing great Vickie. Hopefully you can get to the point where if you need, you can leave him longer. God bless you and your mate.

He did ask me later in the afternoon what happens to him around 2 p.m! He said he always starts feeling funny and foggy and can't remember anything! He was so right. Then he aked if "those people who were here this morning" had the same thing he did! He meant the people at the Center where he was, I know. He also told me they weren't very organized there today. He recognizes so very much - and I wish he didn't, sometimes. Not sure if this will work or him unless they get their act together better.

Not sure if I'm getting respite or not! It's a bear to try to get him to go in the mornings. Our Shih Tzu, Millie, I thought had a UTI the last day or so and I was up and down with her all night last night; then at 6 a.m. went down to bring our coffee upstairs, started to get something out of the refrigerator and knocked over a dish containing canned pineapple - with juice, of course, top came off and it went all over my kitchen floor. Brought the coffe in my stainless container upstairs, hit it on the post at the top of the stairs and dropped it - the outside was fine, but the insides crushed in a million piece and ruined my first cup of coffee! Back downstairs to make a new pot. Meanwhile, Millie is dribbling all over the bathroom floor upstairs. He didn't want to go to the Center, but finally got him up, dressed and fed and took him. The to the vet with Millie. She has kidney stones, surgery on Monday morning! Never did get lunch! Went to pick up DH - and he was "helping" decorate for a party next week. I just stood and watched and they said he had been so good today! It's just the getting him to go! So....no respite for me this week - we'll see what next week brings - with the surgery, recouperation, etc.