I can't tell you how many times/day I have to stop and ask myself why I'm in this room and what it is I'm after. Dh and I went on a 2-day trip with dd and grand daughter this past weekend to see dh's son whom we haven't seen in 20 years. It was a long trip and a bit hectic because we were on dd's schedule, so everything was hurried. I left things in both motel rooms and fought with dh each morning. Got home and looked all over for my computer glasses and they were on top of my head. I was almost in tears because I couldn't find these damn glasses and they were on my head the whole time. I'm beginning to wonder if this disease has me in its grip, as well as dh. I'm really tired of juggling so many things, suddenly I don't seem to be handling it so well. I feel the need to check into the "Funny Farm".
mothert, it seems to me you have too much on your plate and need respite. I am sure all of us have at one time or another forgotten things but I am also sure it's because we do too much. Thinking for two people is hard because one of the people can't remember anything that happened or was said or remember the words they want to use. Is there any way you can get respite for a couple of days? I hope you can and if you can't just come here to blow off steam, we all know what you are going through. Maybe someone with more wisdom will be along to help you. Hang in there! Hugs.
My theory is that we are so hyper-sensitized to the symptoms of AD that we second-guess our own brains all the time. Jean is right. Stress, lack of sleep, worry...all of this stuff can keep us from functioning at top form, which causes lapses, which causes us to worry...etc.
I am also enjoying the interesting effect of perimenopause, which seems to have made me a bit dizzier than usual, and has enhanced the number of potholes in my brain, apparently. Such a great comfort (not) when you're clinging to your brain function lest it try to fly the coop. I have phases where I count backwards by 7s, etc, just as a mini test.
Nevertheless, if there's one thing we know around here, it's that IF your time comes, there ain't nothin' we can do about it, except be ready now. I have said it before--at the first sign (may it never come) I will make sure my children know exactly where to park me, and know exactly how to access the resources. That is, if I haven't managed to sail off to the sea during squall season. (Plan A.)
It will not help us to worry though, will it? Still, I completely understand. AD is almost like the boogey-man in a horror movie...we have this sense it could be lurking for us. But I think it's best to just not stiffen up about it. Be a relaxed, laid-back movie hero or heroine, have your plans laid, and be totally Buddhist about it if it ever does come to get you. What is, is. We're not going to live forever regardless.
Like emily, I count backwards by 7s or 9s. I spell words backwards. My newest thing is trying to do the alphabet backwards. I passed the MMSE with flying colours a couple of years ago. However, that is cheating as most of us know the MMSE by heart. My big worry is forgetting word's when I am in a conversation.
Not to burst anyone's bubble.....but if you had Dementia how would you know you were counting back correctly or spelling a word correctly? Just joking folks!!!!
mothert, I know the feeling well! I usually feel this way especially when I am stressed (more than usual). Like lately when I was trying to plan my son's college graduation party, also at the same time here spring dumps late and there is all the outside mowing, planting, trimming, then we have my sis and her husband visiting from halfway across the country....the other day I came in to feed dh who was sitting and watching me work and when I went to go back outside I couldn't find my gardening gloves anywhere.... after frantic looking, in and out of house, in and out of shed up and down ...I found them in my pocket. =0
So far I blame it on lack of sleep and stress...it reminds me of when I had babies in house and there were times then I wrote times on the calendar and later would look at it and could not for the life of me remember what appointment or meeting went with the time!
Jean very funny! ...and about counting backwards by sevens....i still have trouble counting forward by 7's past 42!
In addition to dh having az my sister in ALF has aphasia. So visiting her with dh is sometimes very interesting to say the least. If I forget something I just say "well, girl, you're getting old" and hope for the best.
I have my friend from Canada, she is the same age as I, (57) Her Mother has AD and has had a long haul, going in to the 15th year, she is in a home.
Maggie, (friend), has been one of the least supporting people I know through this so far 2 year journey DH and I are one. Now they are back next door visiting again.
Honestly, I think SHE is showing strong signs, and lately all the email I get from her has many spelling errors. I am wondering, if this is why she is so vague in her empathy for us, and why she cannot stand to visit her Mom. SHE IS REALLY SCARED OF GETTING IT!!
So though I feel that it is not always about US, I am trying to cut her some slack. And I think I can really see signs.
emily POTHOLES IN THE BRAIN oh I love it! It is so apt!
Off to my second Tuesday respite for 10 hours, same as the first hopefully. mothert I hope your brain gets better and it is just a sign of stress, sure seems like it. We love you.
I'm forever putting the ice cream in the microwave, which sits on the counter right next to the freezer. On the other hand, DH will put almost anything in the freezer rather than refrigerator side - or the microwave. Hummmmm
Okay, you all have made me think and laugh - great therapy. I know I'm too stressed when I feel like bursting into tears when I can't find my computer glasses that are right on the top of my head - that's just too funny! I am wondering about anti-depressant meds but think I will try out exercise and sun first. I do have a respite planned for the end of July for 4 days and 3 nights. That will be most heavenly. Having something that wonderful to look forward almost makes me more impatient with the daily grind with dh now. I feel so sorry for him, but he drives me crazy. Some days I can handle it better than others. Tomorrow I go off to be with girlfriends for most of the day while dh stays home with Katie, our housekeeper/his caregiver. She will be staying with him one of the nights I am gone - the test to come.
I, too, love the "cobweb" comment. My girlfriends and I have joked for years that we can't remember what we can't remember - thank you menopause! Too many life forces converging at once, I'm afraid.
Thank you, dear friends, it's so wonderful to be able to be truthful with understanding souls.
mothert..you said it yourself...you have too much to juggle,,too much to remember. I find that to be true too..take DH to the doctor and they ask all these questions...I have enough to do without taking more time to write more stuff down....it is just to damn much. I tell the doctors or anyone else that my file cabinet is overflowing...it can't hold any more.
Sheesh..we are expected to be chief of transportation, cook, laundress, pharmacist, shrink, nurse, doctor, window washer, floor washer, mechanic for all sorts of things, and on top, remember each thing the doctors change, perscriptions, you name it...is it any wonder we are all tired, frustrated, lonely, and when we can't even spell a word we think we are losing it?
When we are this kind of tired, our minds do not work well..it can't..We may sleep but do we rest? Not likely, we have one ear open for the mischief the LOs might get into, just as we did for the teenage who was still out after curfue.
I worry about elephantitis. I used to worry about cancer because I smoke but then I realized I was probably going to get emphysema. Now my fourth friend who doesn't smoke has cancer. This time of the espophogeus and has a 35% chance of surviving. The other three are dead and none of them smoked. My wife had no history of alzheimer's in her family.
My grandmother, my mother, aunt, and sister all had or have slipped discs that reduced mobility. I'm almost six and a half feet tall and I've been warned since I can remember that I'm at risk. Never worried never got them.
Two of my friends that died of cancer were pictures of health. Never smoked, rarely drank, always exercised, always jogged. They were so fit it was part of the commentary. Doesn't work.
When my best friend who is suicidal, has gone through 5 psychiatrists, takes every pill invented, energy drinks, yoga, etc. left my house two weeks ago, I said we shouldn't worry because my analysis is that it's virtually completely random. Within a couple of days this throat cancer thing showed up in the last person we would guess.
Nope. I don't worry about fatal diseases I might get. And I don't believe the fact that I can do things like add up the items upside down, take the discount, add the tax, and figure out the total to the cent faster than they can on their calculator is going to save me. I was told by the NH many of their AD patients were bright and have read nothing here that dissauds me from that.
I'll give you something to worry about. Worry about becoming 100.
Oh Wolf, I so agree! Why worry? What does it get you? Maybe an ulcer? Remember that jogger/ health guy......I think his name was Jim Fix (or something like that) dropped dead when he was around 50. What's going to happen will happen & that's all there is to it. (IMHO).
How to count backwards by 7's or 8's. Subtract 10 and then add back 2 (if you are counting backwards by 8's) or 3 (if you are counting backward by 7's) How many of you would sit in the room and silently answer those test questions yourself and worry when you couldn't. I'd made up a story about the 3 words, (apple, newspaper, table) ..I'd remember, sitting at a TABLE reading a NEWSPAPER eating an APPLE. I even tried to teach my AD husband to remember the words that way. He never could. He'd draw the numbers on the clock all on one side... say between 12 and 5 o'clock. I was 'teaching to the test' the first few years he took it. Didn't work! Hello!!!! Guess why?
Nancy, I make up 'stories' to memorize stuff too, something I can picture, as I'm a visual learner. I found that the easiest way for me to count backward by 7's is to break the number 7 down into 3+4 or 4+3 or 2+5, etc., first subtracting the amount needed to get it to an even 90 or 80 or 70 etc., and then subtracting what's left. I laugh now when I remember what faith I put in that first mini test. I've learned so much since then and DH has been placed for 20 months now. Alzheimers is one thing I never thought I'd become an expert on, but like they say...Life is what happens when you've planned something else.