My wife is in early stage 6 as far as I can determine by comparing her development with the Alzheimer's Association and the Fisher Foundation website. At a recent educational series program on 'Safety' by the Alzheimer's association, the question came up as to when it would be unsafe to leave a loved one alone for 3 or 4 hours. Since then I am almost paranoid about leaving her for any amount of time. My wife thinks I am being over protective (she is the memory impaired one) and my daughter who was with me at that program stated then that "mom is at that stage". But now a few weeks later she tends to agree with her mother. Is there a place we can go for a more definitive independent assessment? Has anyone else encountered that problem?
My Dh could get into the most awful jams at that stage. I found it easier not to leave him alone, rather than undo whatever it was that took his fancy that day. But my husband had a vision problem, too, which added to mishaps. You know your wife: I'd do whatever feels best to you.
I could never leave DH alone for 3-4 hours. Mornings, I can leave him for 1-2+ hours. But after 2 p.m.- I never leave him alone. The sundowning starts and lasts until he goes to bed at around 6 p.m. DH wavers between stages 2-5 depending on the day/time/whats going on at the moment.
From your first sentence it appears to the reader that you may have made the diagnosis not an MD or Neurologist. If this is the case, I would recommend that you request that your primary physician refer you to a Neurologist who specializes in memory disorders for a full evaluation. Additionally, there are medications she could be taking that are used to slow the pace of the disease.
Keep in mind that even a definitive DX will give you a label of what is her status is that day, during the specific time frame, when she was being given the tests. With AD like all other diseases patients have good days and bad days. Like Vickie says her DH wavers between stage 2-5. That's a dramatic variance in what is required of the caregiver.
One can only err on the side of safety. What was considered an overprotective act yesterday by not acting in the same fashion can lead to regret tomorrow. My wife never wandered away until the first time she disappeared. She never left the stove on high with a towel on top of the stove until the first time, etc.There was a recent thread of this site about the viability of using video device that works in conjunction with your cell phone. this is possibly an alternative at this stage. Just do a search on the site under video surveillance
I would not take the chance, I know, because I learned my lesson the other day.
We were having lunch in town, and he was sitting at a sidewalk table. I told him to just sit there I had to go the the bathroom, it was just right across, and I would be right back. He say ok.
When I came out 2 minutes later, he was GONE! Not in the car, not in the restroom, not in any of the shops, I had two other people looking with me. Well finally about 10 minutes later someone pointed across the parking lot and there he was standing by a car not ours. And, we were parked right in front of where I left him.
The panic was just beneath the surface, it was amazing how quick he could disappear. Yes, now I need to get the ID stuff, yes, Iearned my lesson.
And the stove, one time I left the house for just a few minutes, he had hot oil and a a whole frozen chicken right out of the freezer spattering wildly.
IF you mate is in that stage, ( mine is mid 5 stages,), no way leave them alone. Do talk to the doctor as marty said. I am so sorry for your worrying, we are here with you .
My DH is in mid-late stage 6 so of course he cannot and should not be left alone. When he was in an earlier stage, say 4, I did leave him alone because I was traveling frequently for work. Bad idea-he got lost driving twice (we only had a suspicion of dementia at that time-no dx). Thank God he didn't get hurt or hurt someone. They can get into so much trouble when left alone and unsupervised. And yes, once they need ft supervision, it changes your life.
Coco. I've mentioned this tip in the past. Every time DW walks out the door, I take a photo with my cell phone. What she's wearing,what does she look Ike? all the questions are answered + a Safe return ID
vieu Corbeau--first of all, I believe it is common for people with dementia to feel that their caregivers are being overprotective. My husband and many others said "Stop treating me like a child." However, they are really not in a position to see things clearly, due to impaired judgment, which is a symptom of the disease.
My philosophy was always to be proactive, to avoid crises. I stopped leaving my husband alone very early on. Yes, it wasn't easy, but I felt it was worth it not to have to worry. There is an unpredictability factor with this disease that, in my opinion, would make another assessment of your wife's stage unreliable in terms of giving you a concrete answer on the question of leaving her alone.
I guess it boils down to how much risk you are willing to take.
Coco:oI've mentioned this tip in the past. Every time DW walks out the door, I take a photo with my cell phone. What she's wearing, what does she look Iike? A picture is worth a 1000 words + a Safe return ID is a must