I invite you to log onto the home page and read my latest blog on burnout. I wonder - if you are like me and have no money to hire help, and are not lucky enough to have a sister and brother-in-law like mine, who take over for a week, what do you do when caregiver burnout is literally killing you? I may not have money to hire help, but when I am burned out, I do have the Cavalry - they don't ride horses. They fly in on a plane.
Joan, I am lucky to have the money to pay the facility because I don't have the Cavalry to ride in on anything! I could not take any more of the hallucinations and paranoia....it was driving me crazy. I spent more time trying to distract DH than I did on cleaning and making sure I wasn't away more than 3 hours or he would be upset. I am much more relaxed now, no headaches, no gut ache. I haven't taken a pill for a headache since DH went to the facility two weeks ago.
Enjoy every minute of your sister and BIL stay and I hope you get the help you need after they leave.
Yes Joan, take full advantage and enjoy...you certainly deserve it! And please, get some in-home help for yourself as soon as possible...you are dealing with way too much on your own.
Joan, I'm so happy you have some help this week! Take full advantage of it! I'm one of the ones who have no relatives where I live; there are no funds for in-home help available here either. But I don't have all the responsibility you have with Sid and your Father. So, I plod on day by day, minute by minute.
So happy for you take advantage of every opportunity to rest and relax. My sister is coming to stay the month of June and I am looking forward so to that. She is older than me and will not be taking on much except to visit with our sister in ALF and stay with dh when I go out for awhile. Also, just having someone to "talk" to that doesn't get lost in the brush during a conversation will mean so much.
Oh Joan, I am so happy for you! I so enjoy your realistic and down-home take on things. I am not a miss sweetie pie personality myself although I do try and my goal is to be kind always. It just doesn't aways come out that way. I know you have a great heart and do so much, have fun with your sis.
Joan, you need to find a regular time to get away. I am helped (I say my life saved) by an Adult Day Center. My wife goes there 6 days a week from 9-2. This gives me time to exercise, shop, look at the view, etc. I can afford private pay, but most of the people there are helped by some sort of government aid- Medicaid, VA, etc. Check to see what you are eligible for.
JOAN: The best part of your blog is the final paragraph. The old ways have overwhelmed and consumed you , you recognize that, and now have begun a plan to save yourself. Your responsibilities as a caregiver are far more onerous, caring for Sid and your father, more than I can possibly imagine handling single handed. Thanks to a support network of family and friends, living in an ocean front condo-resort like environs and being fortunate enough that finances are not a major concern, need for respite is not an issue.. ( For years I cursed my insurance broker son in law, affectionately known to DW and I as numbnuts, for making me buy a top of the line long term health policy 20 yrs ago, Thank you Brian!) ENJOY the Cavalry and good luck finding financial aid and respite time
Yes, I am funded for 2 days a week of Day Care. I could get another day, but right now, Sid still has his Alzheimer Buddies Dominoes afternoon on Mondays, so he goes to Day Care on Wednesdays and Fridays. I drop him off at 10 and pick him up at 3. When he is no longer able to participate in the dominoes, I will add DC on Mondays.
Tomorrow, I am dropping him off, my sister and I are going to the gym, and then spending the afternoon at the pool. I'm hoping to get my brother-in-law to pick Sid up.
Joan, I hope you got to visit the Loggerhead today ... weather got pretty nasty late in the day. Your sister is a sweetheart!
I need to start planning some respite time for myself on weekends, maybe once a month. Right now my job is my respite in many ways. But 4 or 5 hours to myself on a Saturday, to do what I want ... that would be great.
Joan, I am so glad that you are getting a bit of a break.....everyone needs some time to have some down time. Big hugs to your family for being there for you...
I guess it takes awhile to get the hang of caregiving relief. This morning, my sister read me the riot act. Told me to stop planning, shut up, sit down, and don't do anything. She and my BIL are out picking Sid up from DC; she put a load of laundry in before they left; after they bring Sid home, they're going shopping for what she needs to cook supper, and I'm going to lie down and take a nap. Now that I am relaxing, I realize how desperately I need it.
I believe part of the 'not being able to sit down and relax' is due to the fact that we aren't really sure anyone else can take care of things like we do or like we want it done! It's hard to let it go.