Well God came thru again, and my DH was placed in the NH I had been praying for. Now my DH is being well cared for by those trained in AD, and I can be his wife again instead of his caregiver. Yes I go everyday to see him, he is 5 minutes from our home, and I get to love on him again without being frustrated, exhausted, angry (the list goes on). I truly feel our relationship is so much better now because we can laugh together again. I actually look forward to seeing him every night after work, we go for walks, dance to the oldies and even snuggle to watch tv. He is thriving in an environment that has residents in different stages, and he is one of the younger ones (61). Yes, it is still difficult, and I still cry from time to time, but I have fallen in love with him all over again!
Rosie K, I know just how you feel. When Jean was home there were times I didn't like him. After he was placed and I didn't have the everyday stress, I loved him even more. I went three times a week and really looked forward to seeing him, even when he didn't know me.
Rosie, you just made my day :) I am so very happy for both you and your DH!
I wrote about this 3 years ago when I had to place Lynn. He hated me at home, he wouldn't allow me to help him with his daily needs at all. He was both physically and verbally abusive as well. Once placed EVERYTHING changed. He clearly knew not only my name but that I was his wife, more importantly he loved me once again and was able to express it.
To have his love back after years of him seemingly hating me, well, there just are not words that could possibly express the overpowering mix of emotions. I love him deeply, both the man he use to be AND who he is now ♥ ♥…..It is amazing, this renewed love, and I am so happy you are experiencing it!! Such a blessing ((hugs))
Rosie, I am glad you are feeling so happy. I recently placed my dh and totally understand the feelings that you are talking about. Now we can relax, and love them and then go home and deal with our feelings there. My dh is so happy and that is a great feeling to me. It reinforces the choice I made to place him. So happy for both of you,,,,,, guess there is one way to get up on this horrible disease. We are really learning how to find some happiness in all this...... take care
Dh is going for a 2 week respite on the 28th...I guess this wil be the big test as to how placement will be...only I'm told not to visit, now that's going to be hard..
Rosiek, your post makes me so happy for you and your dh. Sounds like date nights. I've been so afraid of what it will be like when he is eventually placed, but your post lets me believe that placement can be a really good thing. Blessings to you both.
Thank you for all your kind words and hugs. I never thought I would have felt this way and so happy that I can encourage all who have yet to reach this stage. I treasure every moment I have with him and I also have become attached to other residents and their families. I pray for all of you who are struggling, God can always turns things around, he can always change our hearts.....I thought mine had become pretty hard. I actually look forward to getting him in his pj's and getting him ready for bed, even after I've worked all day. It makes me feel connected to him.....crazy isn't it!
No Rosie, not crazy at all!! I understand completely ♥ Spending time with Lynn is the highlight of my day, my life. I enjoy so much helping take care of him. My only goal while there is tending to his every whim and making him as happy as I possibly can. I am so glad you are experiencing this as well Rosie! It is healing for our wounded hearts. Continued blessing to you and your dear husband ((hugs))
Rosiek--My experience with placement has been similar to yours. I visit Steve every day and the highlight is when he hugs and kisses me. I take in Lionel Richie's music and we dance (of course, I lead now). I give him an afternoon snack of chocolate cookies, fruit and lemonade and we "talk" (well, to him it's a conversation). The most important thing to me is seeing that he's content and a good place emotionally--quite different than when he was at home. He doesn't realize where he is and is always happy to see me.
Rosie,,,,, you have it wrong,,,, it is crazy with us trying our best to do what we can for the person we love and still thinking we are coping fine...... I think where they are is the best place there is. When I am there with my dh I am happy, carefree, relaxed, and can focus on us. We have endured all we could and done all we could and now our blessing is being able to be the best of ourselves for the rest of our loved ones life. We deserve every laugh, hug, smile, and any other good feeling we get when we visit them. Like you an marilyninMd, it makes my day to go see my dh. I get sad sometimes when I think too much about things but I refocus and think only happy thoughts when I am there. It is as close to happiness we can get right now so LIVE IT UP GIRL....... Take care and keep on keeping on.....