I just found out that I have a cold nodule on my thyroid gland. I've been completely consumed by the health issues of DH, particularly for four years.. Interestingly, the local PA who filled the first rx for anxiety medication a year ago, required an office visit for it to be refilled. This was on the eve of our COURT HEARING for DH to appeal the revocation of his driver's license.. There is anxiety for me, related to events like that. BUT the result was that he discovered a little nodule on the thyroid and now I've had an ultrasound and next I am to see a SURGEON about a fine needle biopsy!.. YIKES..
I haven't told my DH the significance of any of this.. just that I have to go for another test..but wowee. I must say it took my breath away for a bit. I've been relatively healthy most of my life. Am trying not to jump to any conclusions before I actually know what's going on but it feels scary. The dr. said that if its cancer, its highly treatable. Thats good news..but I have to laugh thinking just how high an anxiety level can REALLY go!
If something happens that I can't take care of my husband, I am confident that our children will step in and do whatever is necessary but in the past two days I've caught myself thinking, oh brother, I've never considered not being able to take care of ME either.
Possibly others have had to go to the hosp. for tests or procedures, etc. How has this affected your spouses and what did you do to provide for their care during that time? I'm so dumb, this has never occured to me.
Judy-calm down. Just about every woman I know including my daughters have had thyroid nodules. Even if it is the big C it is easily treated. The larger problem is the anxiety of your future and your ability to care for your LO. I know what it is like to be on sensory overload. There is only so much we can carry. I don't mean to trivialize but try to take small steps and let us help you when you want to scream at the world.
Judy, weren't we talking about you being depressed not all that long ago, and that maybe what you really need is thyroid hormone therapy? Maybe that IS what's been going on.
bluedaze is right, these nodules are common, and rarely turn out to be the big C, and even when they do, they respond quite well to treatment.
Someone, don't remember who, reminded us all to think about how we would take care of our spouses if we got sick, maybe a month or two ago. I promptly put it on my to-do list ... where it still sits. Sigh. I really MUST do something concrete ... I don't have any family who could step in.
My doctor had me in a tailspin about a little bleeding, had me convinced it was uterine cancer (which is slow-growing and responds well to treatment, too). They weren't successful at getting a biopsy sample the first time, so I had to recover a couple of weeks and then try again; and of course, it takes time to get the results. I was ever so thrilled to have to sit around for weeks on end. I turned out to be just fine. You'd think that would have gotten me off my keester, but no, so much else going on, it keeps slipping my mind. Arrrgh.
i had to go in oct last yr to ER as i though i was having heart attack. tight chest/waves of nausea/sweating/dizzy/ you get the picture- i panicked and drove myself along with my poor DH to the ER and told them right away he was AD and had to stay with me and who to call if i passed out or so. it was a nightmare come true thinking i would blackout and him sitting there or better yet roam his way out of the hospital..-i had some test sand ER dr says stay over nite and do a stress test tomorrow to be sure. WHAT? ok, check in hosptial with nothing, and DH in tow going to sleep on a lounger in my room. ok, so far so good. after 15k of tests and stress test i passed well TG! and dr says was probably acid reflux take a prilosec next time:) and check sinus, well i was very thankful it was nothign but made me get an agency on 'call' with sitters just in case i could call 24hr and they will come get him and take him home. plus then i could calll a family to step in...what a horrible experience. get a plan set up just in case! divvi
ps plus i HAD to call his daughter to come sit with him 2hr while i had my tests in the hospital in my room. it was horrid having to ASK for someone to give me a hand. they dont come around much or offer EVER to help. so i swore never again.
It was me. In February I was in the Emergency ward. My husband was still driving but I didn't let him take the car to follow the ambulance. They were considering keeping me overnight and I nearly collapsed with worry.
Then, about a month ago, it looked like I might need surgery for a hernia. Turns out they don't do surgery for that kind of hernia unless there is something stuck in there that needs removing. I didn't have that problem.
Dealing with this stuff is still on my to do list too. ...[sigh]...
I've been thinking a lot about what you have been saying and how difficult it is to put an emergency plan in place. How about going to a medical staffing office or even better have them visit you. With them develop an emergency plan including your LO's medications, doctors, next of kin or what ever info you are comfortable sharing. Believe me-as a home health nurse I have heard it all. They should be able to make suggestions of things you never thought of. Think of how much better you will sleep. You might even find the time to realize you are ill and need care. Isn't it amazing how we put ALL our needs on the back burner for the duration.
Oh yes, we need that emergency plan. Injuries and illness happen to everyone, and I suspect with the load we carry as caregivers, we are possibly more susceptible and/or just more worried.
We had a car accident last fall (ok, it was my fault…..). Totaled a car. Ambulance ride to ER. Separate ER rooms. Great anxiety and bruised ribs for him, fractured (though stable) pelvis for me. DS totaled his car on way to ER to see us. So, we leave the ER at about 2am. I’m in hospital gowns, on crutches.DH is enjoying his pain meds. DS has fibromyalgia, uses a cane, has no energy at the best of times, much less when both parents are in the ER with unknown injures (ok, he is also thinking…..if mom goes, I have to take Dad??).
So by the next morning, we have gone from a 2 car family (DS lives with us, grad student) to a no car family, everyone is on narcotics, scripts need to be filled. We rented a car (some car rentals pick you up) and debated who was most able to drive……We managed ok, but I was definitely going through alternate plans in my head. Finally decided to call my sister if help was needed. I have 2 other sons, but they weren’t practical options short of a major emergency. Interesting how our definition of “emergency” changes with time.
Did I mention we had purchase a house less than a month before, and we were slowly moving from a rental property at the time? And DS had to take a taxi from house to rental property to get to the car? And taxi driver got lost in the process?
Yes, we need to think of the other options, have a plan, a written plan, with many contingencies thought of. Got to go make sure DS has my sister on his cellphone.
I don't know what I would do in situations like some of you have shared. I can't imagine my husband sitting in ONE PLACE in the hospital ER or anywhere he had to WAIT. He doesn't manage well in unfamiliar places either. He can be in a chair one minute and gone the next. I appreciate even more the need to have a PLAN for events like these. Thank you so much. I think I'm calmer. A plan will certainly help.
I also have thought, what would happen if I suddenly became ill or hurt & couldn't make a phone call. I wasn't sure my husband would have the thought to dial 911. I have since place in huge numbers by the phone "Call 911 in case of emergency" Also, have our son's number & our address there also. I have quizzed him ever so often who he should call in case of emergency, sometimes he knows sometimes not. Hopefully, he will never be put to the test.
Since my husband probably couldn't say "help" - his dialing 911 wouldn't do any good. His cell phone could be triangulated, I guess. If something were to happen to me, I think he would go to our neighbors for help. I hope he would remember to do so! <grin>
I have my DH's information EVERYWHERE - they can't miss it. However, I just realized I need to do the same thing for me! Hopefully it won't be needed.
I have asked that question many times. We have three children and all live in different states. My DH cannot use the phone anymore. At least he cannot dial a number but he can pick up the receiver sometimes when the phone rings. I brought this subject up with the VA case worker. She has no answers. I went to Nursing Homes and Assisted Living facilities and no one can answer my question as what would happen in an emergency were I could not make a phone call or if I was to become ill and had to be hospitalized, this is really scary.
What about those lifeline-type buttons for the caregiver, not the LO? You just have to push a button and they will either confirm you are ok, or send emergency help and notify relatives or friends on file. PatB
Think positively Judy and count your blessings that you have children who will step in if necessary. I also had a cold nodule on the thyroid over 30 years ago. There was no ultra-sound as yet and no biopsy was done. Instead they simply removed the nodule and I was lucky that it was benign. After a couple of scares recently, one following a CT scan in which something, they don't know what, showed up and the other day when I fell and my DH just stood there and watched me struggle to my feet. It has certainly brought home to me that I had better come up with a plan should something serious happen to me. He is no longer driving, nor does he know how to use the phone. All the best to you.
I had to take a good look at this issue after an emergency visit to the hospital myself. It’s amazing how having your doctor come in with your EKG printout and say that you need to go to the emergency room will focus your thoughts. After a very interesting—and terrifying--couple of days, I got to go home. This is when I decided, since we have no family or close friends where we live, that when my DH gets to the point where he can’t call for help, that I will not be able to keep him at home. Knowing that I do have heart trouble, I feel that I could be really putting him in danger to keep him at home, because if I don’t wake up some morning, what would happen to him? Shortly after this happened, I read in the paper about a care recipient dying of starvation after their caregiver died of a heart attack.
So many, many things to think about. So many decisions to make, sometimes with very little information. And with all the stress and exhaustion that go along with caregiving, I guess it’s reasonable to think that our own health can eventually affect what our plans were for caregiving.
Last night I was gone overnight having more tests done. I was able to leave my DH alone, but it sure didn’t help my stress level any to know that he was alone all night. (He did fine with me gone, but has really withdrawn today and will hardly talk to me. He’s not mad, but just needing to regroup.) Even when we are trying to get our own health issues resolved, we’re still on duty. No wonder we wear ourselves out.
What I love about this site is that someone will have had experience with a current woe and have answers. Judy, I can imagine your panic - I hope you feel better PatB- I love your story - in anything can go wrong - oh my, but it sounds as if you kept you sense of humor. I have to confess last night when I was trying to think of the best PLAN this popped in to my head - "Well, if I just died it would be someone else's problem." I have to admit for a bit there that sounded like the best solution. (Today feels better...) Actually, if there were any emergency I can just imagine my DH would roam around outside and someone would notice his bracelet and call the 800 number.
Just a note to say the experience of the thyroid nodule Fine Needle Biopsy was something I wasn't prepared for..All that 'digging' and it produced insufficient cells to make any kind of determination about the thyroid. In fact, the nodule on the left side was of no interest to the surgeon...but the RIGHT side was.. So he needled the right side down near my collarbone. Its been a week and still sore around the collarbone. He suggested that another ultrasound in 6 months was advisable. I'm perplexed but am motivated now to get a good physical just to make sure I'm relatively healthy. Gosh.
The whole affair provided plenty of thought of what to do IF I couldn't be here to see after things. The fact that I've been 'going to the doctor' for these various tests has only affected DH the way he behaves if I go anywhere and he stays here.
If the thyroid is to blame for anxiety and feeling overwhelmed, tired and isolated, I was poised to be glad to have the thing taken out and our world to tilt BACK to normal.. I've thought these emotions were caused by the confounding unpredictables of Alzheimer world. Theres no need for zanax when I'm in this environment HOWEVER, I should have taken something for before the needle biopsy though.. I was shakin like a leaf before that was over.. Whew..
Thats the update and I've noticed other threads that refer to having a contingency plan for our loved ones and hope to get something done in that regard. Thanks a bunch for encouraging helpfulness!
Oh, man, you had me squirming and turning green. Didn't they give you any local, or a happy pill, or anything???
I had some light bleeding, so my PCP started making noises about uterine cancer, and sent me in for a biopsy. Never having had children, the opening is as small as they come. Forty-five minutes of straining and pushing in probes that were too small to collect a specimen anyway (why do that, I want to know) and not getting the probes that were big enough to go in, and the PA or whoever she was announced she was giving up, and thanked me for behaving so well. (I had been giving serious consideration to kicking her nose in the entire time, but I guess she wasn't a good mind reader.) I was given a couple of weeks to recover, and then back to see a doctor who promised to use "more force". Yeah. Well, at least he used a topical that made the outer regions numb, and he did indeed use force to get the real probe inside right away. May I say, that was not the most pleasant experience of my life, although the two "scoops" he took were so quick that each was over before I yelped. In and out in maybe five minutes. Then he says he may not have gotten enough cells (!) which was good in that it meant it was unlikely I had the big "C" but bad in that to be sure, I'd have to come in for a more extensive procedure. Two weeks later, I get the paperwork that says he managed to get enough material, and I'm fine.
But I'm here to tell you, I'd rather do that again than what you've just described.
Sunshyne, during my year of fighting my way to the oncologist I had that test. The doctor that did it tried twice and then admitted that it mostly never worked.
The oncologist did an exam under ansethesia before the full scale operation. The needle biopsy doctor (don't know what those are called) also used anesthesia. And I had happy pills for the ultrasounds.