DH now wakes up every morning asking who's paying for this place we are staying. Then when I tell him it's our home, we're paying for it, he wants to know when it's going to be foreclosed on! Asks what we are going to do since we don't have a home, don't have a car, etc. I just try to reassure him since whatever I say doesn't get through that tangled fog. Also does not recognize me in pictures of both of us that I have around in the house. He doesn't say anything about himself - so I don't know if he knows it's him or not - and I haven't asked so far. When I told him it was me, he wanted to know if we are married or just engaged! Told him we were going steady - and he laughed. Then told him we are married - 38 years. Said he just wanted to make sure it's all legal.
This have been going on for the last 8 days - every morning - samething. I guess 'this too shall pass'.
Money has been a theme for quite a while with Jeff--"How are we paying for this? Where does our money come from?" That's when he's oriented enough to know who I am.
My wife wanted to know if I was a musician and how she would be getting home. I got to know that my wife liked me. She got to where she had little idea of who I was; but, she seemed pleased I was there.
DH had an obsession with the checkbooks for a while - as he was used to having them in his desk drawer and doing all the bills. I had to hide them. I would find him often sitting at his desk, emptying out the drawer and searching for them. I had to tell him I was taking over the bills, as I really needed to learn how to do those things. He knows I am not math oriented and hate balancing checkbooks!!! He eventually got over that and now never asks about bills or the checkbooks.
But taxes are another thing ... He keeps asking me if we've done them, if we have copies, if we mailed them. He's been obsessed with that for the last couple weeks now. He almost gets in a panic about it, until I reassure him it's all handled. Guess it's the CPA in him.
Vickie, I think you are right, "this too shall pass." ((HUGS))
I am so sorry, Vickie. I know how you feel because these were the issues that I lived with for so long. I don't have any advise on how to handle this except to accept it and try to distract him or change the subject.
I know, Bama, you really went through it. The last time he started about us being married, I made a copy of our marriage license, wedding picture - and showed him and that worked. I keep it handy and use it when it rears it's ugly head now.
He starts on the money also, doesn't understand that it's being deposited, etc. Tells me he wants some money so he can buy me something, but wants HIS OWN MONEY. Impossible for him to understand it's all in one pot! LOL I do give him money if we are going out - he still likes to pay for lunch, but he doesn't bother me about paying the bills. I've always done it, so I didn't have to take that over.
Same song is played here with a slight variation on the theme. I always paid the bills so it just continued. Same questions asked as to where we get money. Doesn't understand direct deposit so I came up with something else like his place of employment pays him to stay home and relax. Money seems to be very important to them. I put $40 in dh's wallet and I can't tell you how often during the day he goes into his wallet to look at it. When we go out to eat, I let him leave the tip. Makes him feel important. Now he wants to go back to work and get his stuff. Been retired 11 yrs. since he was 74. Always asks questions about our house much the same all of you are hearing, did I bring him here?, who is paying for this place? Do we have to sign in somewhere? He has taken a definite turn for the worse in the last two weeks. I am not sure it will pass. One obsession after another. This is as good as it gets.
OMG Vickie...my Dh does and asks the same thing about our place every night, does not believe we own this place, says we are going to get chucked out soon if we don't leave. wants to know how we are going to get the stuff here home..checks his wallet over and over. I will have to try FayeBay's idea, and write him a note. he really thinks we have another home, and this is not our place.. He has taken a definite turn for the worse in the last two weeks...I'm trying to get through April...this month, we have had a 50th anniversary and yesterday was his 73rd birthday, family flew in to surprise him...flying home today, and it all like it never happened!
Not fun, Julia. He asked me if I knew what the rules are here! Tomorrow is his 89th birthday! He looks about 70. Didn't know it was his BD and when I told him, he asked if he would be 38 or 39. I told him it was his choice.