I took DH this morning to the LTC. He wasn't real happy about going but I told him they would get his meds adjusted. He asked at one point if it was a one time appointment and I had to tell him no. Later he said he hoped he didn't have to stay more than 3 days I didn't say anything! I hate lying. I know they are referred to as fiblets but it is lies to me. I am going to wait at least a week before I go visit him.
Jean 21. Just a thought. You may want to call the nursing director for the unit or the appropriate clinical person for daily update on how he is adjusting. They may also offer a suggestion on when to vist the first time. You may also need a fiblet for that visit when it is time to leave. I chose to leave when it was time for the resident's meal...and I said I would return...not just when. I hope he adjusts as quickly as my wife. The staff should be able to guide both of you during this difficult period. My spouse adjusted better and more quickly to her new home than I did to the lonilness I now have every day in an empty home.
Jean 21-I hope this works out well for you both. I too hate the fiblets but sometimes they are necessary. I wish you the strength you will need to get hrough this difficult time and pray your DH will adjust quickly without any problems. ((((HUGS))))
The one thing about fiblets to our spouses are that they probably won't remember and/or understand what you are talking about. Of course, then you could ask, why tell a fiblet if they may not remember? You do it to cause them less grief and frustration for the short time they do remember and the chances of them remembering if they are upset about something probably increases. I hate telling lies (fiblets) also, but I feel like I am doing my dh a good deed by keeping his grief and frustration at a lower level. The fiblets I do tell are usually not for me...but my dh.....I can handle telling fiblets because it may help him.
Jean21, I hope this works for you both. My hb was in the hospital for a week before he was moved to the care center for physical therapy, which he didn't cooperate with. However, he was content to be there and never asked to leave. Told me, "This is a very big house." I wouldn't have been able to stay away a week. I went with him from the hospital and visited him every day the 5 months he was there (except when I visited our son out of state for a week). However, if he had been unhappy and agitated to be there, I would have had to make a different visitation schedule. We all know, every situation is different.
Very true Zibby* our situations are all different. I had to go in every day. Jean I have everything crossed that will cross. Hoping for the best for you and your DH ((hugs))
Zibby, My DH wasn't too happy about going to the "Memory Care" facility. I don't want to go too soon incase he realizes he isn't there to get his pills adjusted. I don't know how I would handle it if he asked to come home. I am hoping and praying that by the time I go he will be settled and happy. When I mentioned to those in charge that I wouldn't visit for a week they said it was a good idea and the nurse said she would call me if there was an emergency.