I was thinking it was pretty cleaned up and shiny but still the attempt at generating a little empathy for the caregiver is nice. I have felt that anguish he was trying to portray.
Thursday's episode was difficult to watch. I always wondered how I would handle it if Gord had to be placed and thought another woman was his wife. I think it would have broken my heart. I believe we have talked about that on this website in the past.
I don't normally watch this show, didn't see the episode. My DH did introduce another woman in his facility as his wife, Betty Lee. It did not break my heart, I was glad to know that he was receiving such affection and attention and, if he was introducing her as his wife, then it meant he really, deep down somewhere still wanted to be married to and loved by Betty Lee. When we place our LO, they are thrust into a frightening life where they don't know anyone or where they are. They try to create a life for themselves, to recreate the life they had, and my DH recreated being married to Betty Lee. Good for him.
A few years ago someone told me something about this show & I sent the producer a copy of my book in which I tell the story of how DH recreated his life in the facility. I told them that if they ever wrote about AD they could look at my book to get the truth. I wonder if that's what happened. I'm going to try to find that episode. Does anyone know how I might do that?
Retired Justice, Sandra Day O'Connor was very open about a similar experience. Her husband, diagnosed with advanced Alz., found a love interest when he was placed in a facility. She spoke with great compassion and sensitivity about this chapter in their lives.
Can someone say what's going on with AD in Grey's Anatomy now? I used to watch--know that Meredith's mother had EOAD. How have they handled Meredith's own situation--does she worry about having it too?
Steve isn't attracted to any of the female patients at the ALF, but he has formed an attachment to one of the caregivers. She thinks that he mistakes her for me. It's interesting to both of us--she is a different race, is much younger than I am, and obviously, we look and sound nothing alike. But she does get him ready in the morning and sometimes he tries to kiss her (she does the bob and weave). I think it's the caretakeing role causes this confusion for him, but I'm fine with it. I'm just happy he's cooperating. Even if he formed an attachment to another resident, I wouldn't mind--anything that could give him pleasure is ok with me.
I no longer watch this show but network website gives this recap. Believe Richard is the man who had a long-standing affair with Meredith's mother.
Richard is upset when he finds Adele in bed with another man. His name is Alan. His Alzheimer's is much more progressed than his wife's. The truly depressing thing is that Adele believes she's in love with Alan. She lights up whenever he sees him. She barely knows who Richard is anymore. That's why he regretfully, painfully leaves her to spend her days with Alan, as he's the one who now makes her happy.
Marilyn, the doesn't seem to be focused on Meredith and her mother's EOAD now. It's about the former chief of the hospital, Richard and his wife's alz. Weejun's recap is accurate...Adele is now in a facility and Richard visits her every day. Adele has formed an attachment to another resident, Alan and is having both an emotional and physical relationship with Alan.
I found it heartbreaking to watch as Adele no longer knows she's married to Richard and loves Alan who is now the one who makes her happy. I know if Rich was in a facility I have no doubt he would more than likely look for a relationship with someone who lived there. Just the thought of the possiblity upsets me.
Bettyhere*, if you have cable tv you should be able to go to the video on demand menu and find the episode which you could select and play.
Seems to me if one can reach the detachment and acceptance stages, which are so helpful to me coping with caregiving, an attachment by spouse to another person in a care facility would be at least tolerable. We know our spouses are not of sound mind and their attachment to someone else would, IMHO, be a reaffirmation of the good relationship we had "before". Something we would never tolerate before dementia but like so many others, something we could learn to accept if it brought some comfort to our loved one. Not saying it would be easy, just doable.
Weejun, I've come a long way but alothough I believe I'm progressing along the acceptance stage I've not made much progress on the detachment stage. You pose a viewpoint which is wonderful if you could achieve it but in my heart I know that I would not view a relationship (his) as a reaffirmtion of the good relationship we had before. It might bring him happiness and comfort but I have no doubt it would bring me pain.
Marilyn, yes, Richard has lost both of his loves to dementia. Given the rapid increase in dementia, probably not an impossible scenario.