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  1.  
    sometimes you laugh:

    My granny used to say an idle mind is the devil's workshop. She apparently was right.
    Me, totally innocently, having observed a pattern to the DH's breakfast which involved putting his cereal milk in the microwave for exactly a minute: Honey why are you warming up your milk?
    Him: It knocks the chill off if it.
    Me, knowing that a minute in my microwave does a lot more than "knock the chill off": Do you want me to fix you some oatmeal, or cream of wheat or cheese grits?, thinking he wanted something warm.
    Him: OHN, I dont like hot cereal.

    OKaaay.

    Sometimes you cry:
    DH began screaming I had hidden his meds again, as he could not find his Theopohylline. I run into the kitchen, having just an hour earlier written down all his meds to take to the dr visit tomorrow, and having physically moved the theopohylline bottle. It is sitting right where I left it, and I say here is your theophylline. He says it has Tramadol in it. I was then where is the Tramadol bottle? He says I threw it away. I sad without thinking why? He said well they both started with T s I poured them together. So after a call to the friendly and understanding pharmacist we now have 2 separate bottles and a refill. I put together his medicine minder, but I guess I am gonna have to mind the actual bottles more carefully, remembering that those both start with T.

    And sometimes we are left with no other alternative but to throw our hands in the air and dance a jig with the devil known as Alz/dementia, learning the steps as we go.

    Oh and when I went to the pharmacy I got him 2 packs of cookies, so the sugar demon is held at bay temporarily

    As we say in the south when there is nothing else to say
    Lord have mercy!
  2.  
    Aint' that the truth, bridgewitch??!! Loved your post. And, I'm a southern gal too!
  3.  
    bridgewitch glad you can still laugh. Better than crying.
  4.  
    Cool beans Vickie..then you totally understand cheese grits! I eat mine yankee style to with a bit of sugar and butter..
  5.  
    yeah bluedaze, it is sad, but then you get to where it makes sense in some convoluted way..and you just have to watch the issues you spend your (limited sometimes) emotional energy on..which is still hard for me..and all of us I guess
  6.  
    It is easy to say :pick your battles" but so hard to give in and do it.
  7.  
    SO TRUE Bluedaze--the more I try to pick my battles the more battles I seem to loose.
    • CommentAuthorElaineH
    • CommentTimeApr 19th 2012
     
    bridgewitch, YES, sometimes you laugh & sometimes you cry & I'm sure most people here can relate one way or another to your experience! I'm a northern girl from the midwest & I LOVE grits! (But I also love sauerkraut & bratwurst!)
    •  
      CommentAuthorBama* 2/12
    • CommentTimeApr 19th 2012
     
    Hello..bridgewitch from another southern gal. I like your sense of humor. It will help you in this journey.
  8.  
    Elaine, we had sauerkraut and weiners for dinner! Dont tell anyone but I was born in Mass, so I love brats too..especially on a bun with mustard, grilled onions and relish..I was an army brat and transplanted south when my daddy got out of the service when WWII ended..

    this was overall a good day for which I am grateful and hope everyone else had the same.
  9.  
    bridgewitch I think we've followed each other. My kids were raised in Leominster, Mass. Home of Johnny Appleseed.
  10.  
    and another good old southern saying "bless your heart" hope tomorrow is a better day for all. I'm thinking now about where the pills are kept. Might need to find a better place.
  11.  
    Bridgewitch, some good advice from our Southern gal Bama was used by me today. As I was driving the 2 hours to the doctor because I needed DRUGS TO MAKE HIM STOP!!!,,,whenever I wanted to cry, I would think, PUT ON YOUR BIG GIRL PANTIES!!

    I must have had that go through my head a dozen times today.
    • CommentAuthorabby* 6/12
    • CommentTimeApr 19th 2012
     
    I have never been south except for a wonderful vaca in Gulf Shores.

    However, I did grow up with the saying "bless your heart", "bless her heart", "bless his heart", etc.

    Now, grits; I don't know from grits.....
    •  
      CommentAuthorBama* 2/12
    • CommentTimeApr 20th 2012
     
    Coco...I am having to put on my big girl panties. I have listed the house for sale and doing all the things you have to do to get things cleaned up and ready. I am heading south to an independent senior villa in Foley, Al. I will be about 20 miles from the beach in Gulf Shores. Children are close by so I wont be lonesome. I have only been driving around town for the last 6 years and the thought of driving 5 hours to get there is scaring me to death. Anybody want to join me at Liveoak Village? Google liveoakal.com and look it over. It's only been 2 months since Cordis passed away but keeping busy helps me to cope.
  12.  
    Bama, several of our group have chosen to move in the months following the death of our spice. A new start, keeping the good memories and trying to let go of the bad....being close to children, yet keeping our independence. I'll take a look, and might come to visit someday, but I have to work still - I can't afford to retire for a while. I just take a lot of three and four day vacations! Take care!

    Bridgewitch, your humor will help you come through the other side...it did me...thank you for some smiles today!!!
    • CommentAuthorjcapo3
    • CommentTimeApr 20th 2012
     
    bluedaze*, my daughter had a soccer tournament in Leominster last month.
  13.  
    jcapo3 this is a small world.
  14.  
    Bama I want to come visit you some day. I will rent a car and drive the southern states, and will end up at Betty's place. I am not kidding, it has been a dream of mine to spend a month cruising the South. I went there as a very young and dumb young woman in 1974, but I would enjoy it more now. I will have to find out "who all" is on my route to come visit.

    Of course this will not happen for a little while, but it WILL happen. I will approach my brother in law in Canada who was married to my deceased sister. Dianna told me whenever i really need money, just ask him, he is loaded. (and nice too I love him)

    and a day in the life in Hawaii, if anyone is coming to our spewing volcano wild Island, let me know.
    •  
      CommentAuthorJudithKB*
    • CommentTimeApr 20th 2012
     
    Coco...make your first stop here in Ca. to visit me. I have lots of room and who knows I might want to go on the trip with you through the south.
  15.  
    YES!!!!! Oh boy oh boy something to look forward to! I am serious about this. We will await what happens to our husbands and take it from there.

    (that was weird, I felt that happiness thing springing up, it has been awhile)
  16.  
    Coco-I'm deeper south than Bama-but you sure are welcome here. What took you to Hawaii? I remember sitting on your beach and some locals bringing around samples of a new drink-the Harvey Wallbanger soon to be followed by the Henry Fudpucker.
    • CommentAuthorAmber
    • CommentTimeApr 20th 2012
     
    OK here's goes, an up north question.

    What's Grits? I keep hearing of grits and collard greens. I looked yesterday for collard greens at my grocery store and couldn't find any. How do youu cook them and what do you add?
  17.  
    Wrong season for collards. They need a frost to make them sweeter.
    • CommentAuthorAmber
    • CommentTimeApr 20th 2012
     
    And grits...what is it and how do you cook it?
  18.  
    http://www.grits.com/
  19.  
    tee hee hee I had some good ole boys tell me how they make chitluns, the cleaning pounding scraping boiling kicking the hell out of them. They have many versions of innards cooking over here in the islands too, mainly Filipino style with the blood.
    bluedaze* I will of course be coming you way too, how far is it to drive from Bama's new place to where you live. This will be in year or two from now, but fun to plan.

    I left Canada in 1980 and moved to Maui. Immigration caught up with me after a few years and I had to get my green card...no small feat.! They nicknamed me "snow back" as of course I did not cross the Rio Grande but came from the land of ice and snow, so they thought.

    Simply fell in love with the islands the first time I came, and knew, I had to live here not matter what . That is why I know I can take this fun little trip, if I can survive immigration, cervical cancer, living on just a few cents in a little shack, and caregiver for a AD husband, I can certainly figure out how to take a trip down your way.
    • CommentAuthorabby* 6/12
    • CommentTimeApr 20th 2012 edited
     
    Bama,

    I looked at those villas and they look wonderful. I can imagine you relaxing there...and if you don't want to relax there is always the outlet at Foley...

    Years ago H and I flew to NO and then rented a car and went through Mobile, then over to the Fairhope and Point Clear areas and stayed at a resort for almost a week. Have tried to remember the name and tried to look it up but just cannot find it. I find it hard to believe it is no longer there as it was quite a large place, unless Hurricane Katrina destroyed it?

    Then we went on to Gulf Shores to a rented condo and I remember Foley as being literally just up the road. Also on that trip we went to Dauphin Island to the bird sanctuary. Amazing!

    Another time we were in Mobile for a few days during the holiday season and the decorations were beautiful.

    I wish you every happiness in your new home and thank you for giving me the chance to relive in my head some of the times that were good.

    Coco,

    I got so involved in my memories- What a wonderful trip that will be for you when (not if) you take it! How strong and sweet you are.
  20.  
    Abby, was the name of the resort The Grand Hotel? If so, it is still there....I have a good friend who lives in Fairhope and we go to The Grand when I visit. I love that area....
    • CommentAuthorAmber
    • CommentTimeApr 20th 2012
     
    Coco - curiousity I had a couple of class mates leave Canada and immigrate to the islands about the same time you left. Any chance you came from BC?
  21.  
    Yes I grew up in Fort Langley!
  22.  
    Bama - much happiness in your new surroundings. My dh worked in Mobile in the 80's early 90's and I spent time there with him. We stayed in Gulf Shores some and he commuted. What fun. We've been spending Feb. at Orange Beach for several years since retirement. last Feb when we went he was so confused half the time he thought we were home. No, we don't have the gulf in our backyard at home. I'm hoping we can go again next year. I've spent time and money at the mall in Foley. I'm from the south but grits and collards Won't find their way to my plate. I think folks say "bless your heart" when they can't think of anything else to say. Come south we're friendly and love company. And I've driven the 8 hours to Orange Beach, you can do it, Bama!!
    • CommentAuthorabby* 6/12
    • CommentTimeApr 20th 2012
     
    Sandi*,

    Yes, I will have to look at it more on the website, but I think that is the one. It was not a high rise, which my parents think is required but I don't really share that opinion. Truthfully, I don't even remember a high rise in that area..... Since I was there the Marriott name has been added perhaps? H golfed and I did the spa and shopping stuff. Is "spa'd" a verb?

    I would say, of the property, "gracious hospitality".
  23.  
    Bama, I took a look at the website...looks wonderful.
    Enjoy and have the happiness you deserve in your new surroundings.
    •  
      CommentAuthorBama* 2/12
    • CommentTimeApr 20th 2012
     
    Hey, I've got to sell this house first but I have listed it and started the process. I have talked to Live Oak Village and it is very reasonable. They do have assisted living but I hope I never need that. I've lived in apartments, a log house, a house, a townhouse and now I want to live in a Villa. Sounds good to me.
  24.  
    ok yall are giving me hope here..My dream involves a coule of locales..I want to see New Years in on St Johns, and live in Calgary or yelloknife, and/or live in south Louisiana..Ive lived on the beach (a block off) here, but this is not LA..I guess my fantasy prince is a Rajin Cajun
  25.  
    I have to comment on "grits" etc. Although I am true northerner (New Jersey to Maine), my mother was born and raised in Savannah, GA. As a result we had lots of southern cooking while I was growing up, including grits. When we had a plot in the community Victory Garden during WWII ours was the only one with okra!!!!
  26.  
    Took a while for DH (a northerner) to adjust to my southern cooking. Now....everything I cook is the best he's ever had-----EXCEPT---grits! He just will not even try them - even with cheese and shrimp!
    • CommentAuthorElaineH
    • CommentTimeApr 21st 2012
     
    To me grits are kinda like Cream of Wheat.......only "grittier" & since I like Cream of Wheat I like grits (with butter....real butter not margarine!)
    • CommentAuthorJean21*
    • CommentTimeApr 21st 2012
     
    I like them with sugar and milk like a cereal and I am not from anywhere in America. lol
  27.  
    We used to have a discussion where we shared recipes. I can't find it now so will post my recipe for CHEESE-ZEE GRITS here. This was Claude's favorite.

    4 cups water
    1 cup quick grits
    8 oz grated cheddar cheese
    garlic salt to taste
    1 small can chopped green chiles
    1 can niblet corn, drained
    2 eggs, lightly beaten

    Slowly stir grits into boiling water. Reduce hit. Cook 5-7 minutes or until thickened, stirring occasionally. Stir in cheese until melted. Stir in other ingredients. Pour into 8x8 baking dish sprayed with Crisco spray. Bake 30-35 minutes at 350°.
    • CommentAuthordivvi*
    • CommentTimeApr 21st 2012
     
    we ea grits as a side dish for our breakfast here. the cheese grits, like redbud posts, and a fried egg and sausage. biscuits, butter and a good bit of honey. yum.. you can get an order of grits in most restaurants that serve breakfast in texas.. :)
  28.  
    Seldom ever go to a pot luck that someone doesn't bring cheese grits. Only in lower bama (L A) have I had shrimp with cheese grits.
    •  
      CommentAuthorBama* 2/12
    • CommentTimeApr 21st 2012
     
    flo39, known as The Redneck Riveria (spelling?)
  29.  
    Quaker actually makes instant grits in individual serving packs in many different flavors. For little ole single me it is so easy to just add milk and pop it in the microwave.
  30.  
    I found a recipe for shrimp and grits I made quite often when I was doing the cooking. It calls for "Maine Shrimp" which are very small.

    Shrimp and Grits

    Serves 4

    Ingredients:
    1½ Cups of quick Grits
    6 cups of water
    2 cups of shredded sharp cheddar cheese
    1 teaspoon of paprika
    1/8 teaspoon of cayenne pepper
    3 oz of chopped lean ham
    salt and pepper to taste
    3 pounds of Maine shrimp
    3 cloves minced garlic
    ¼ cup dry white wine
    3 Tbsp lemon juice
    5 or 6 scallions

    Directions:
    Cook the grits in the water according to instructions on the package. When the grits are cooked, stir in most of the cheese, paprika, and cayenne. Stir in the ham and set aside.
    In large soup pot, at least ½ full of boiling salt water, dump shrimp, let it come to a boil and cook for 2 minutes. Strain, and save water.
    In a wok or frying pan add 2 Tbsp olive oil and set over medium-high heat. Add the shrimp and garlic, and cook, stirring, for about 5 minutes. Add the wine and lemon juice and cook for 1-2 minutes longer. Remove from heat.
    In a large bowl mix together the grits mixture and the shrimp mixture and season with salt and pepper. Stir in the scallions. Add the rest of the cheese. Serve.
  31.  
    My favorite Aunt was from Georgia, and she said "bless your heart" all the time. One day I asked her why she says this, and she told me "If you can't say something nice, say bless your heart" I thought that was the funniest thing I'd ever heard!
  32.  
    Ummm good, Marsh!
  33.  
    Marsh-can I just drink the wine and forget about the rest?
  34.  
    sure