George ended up being admitted to the hospital with septicemia (blood infection) 2 wks ago...he was there for a week and a half. He had just completed a rough week of chemo treatments for his CLL (chronic lymphocytic leukemia), developed a fever and some abdominal pain...he was also dehydrated because he was not able to drink much of anything; so I brought him to the ER. He was treated successfully for the infection with iv antibiotics, fluids....but he was so weakened....he needed another transfusion while there too. We stopped the chemo treatments...they were just too much for him to tolerate.... And it was determined that his leukemia was not responding as they had hoped. In fact, it is moving more aggressively than it had been. Our doctor spoke to me in the hospital saying he may live another several weeks...a month, they can't be sure; I was shocked to hear this...I mean, I could see it taking a toll on him....he had lost so much weight, and he was so tired during this last chemo treatment; but I thought we would have more time.... Our daught er has come home from Calif. to be with her Dad and help me...she is putting school on hold for now. She is wonderful support, as is our son. We are blessed with a very supportive family, and some very good friends. George has lost so much weight! He looks so weak...and very tired. This is all so overwhelming and sad, not sure how I am going to deal with the feelings. I will miss him so much...I already do though, and have throughout the progression of the AD. We have him home on Hospice care, and they all seem to be very helpful so far. I sometimes think "maybe we shouldn't have put him thru the chemo" but I truly believe he would have wanted us to try... and we did for 3 months. At first he seemed to be responding to it; but with each cycle it became harder for him. Now we will keep him as comfortable and happy as we can...he still smiles and recognizes us,speaks and "Jokes" with us. He will eat and drink small amounts with help; can still talk and smile (his beautiful smile); he walks with help and sits up in his chair. He loves having his family around. I pray for a merciful, quiet end to this for my love.
That chemo takes the winds out of the sails of all who endure it..my sil had the same reactions to it but soldiered on to the end..she did not die of the cancer but of complications from the medicines she had to take. Lord in heaven there are so few answers to so many diseases. And this ALZ is just about the worst...with cancer there is some hope..but not with this. I am glad your DH can still relate to you and the family... It is often said the anticipation is often exceeded by the actual event...meaning the happier events in our lives. But the anxiety we know we are going to continue to face after the actual loss of our LO is haunting..day after day we know what is ahead and there is really no way to prepare for this..it is still a shock to the system and so overwhelming even when we intellectually know and understand our LO is in a better place.
I am in the midst of this now over my much loved Cookie the Tuxie Cat..I cannot imagine how much worse losing "her dad" is going to be and yet I know this is in the future...
I will be thinking of you and put you on our prayer chain at chruch..Blessings on you and your family.
Bella - my heart goes out to you. May God give you strength and some understanding of "how" you can go through all this. My time is coming I know as all of us here on Joan's site - we need the support of others.
Bella may the Lord give you the Hercules of strength to get through this most difficult time. What a blessing to have a supportive family. Sending prayers prayers and more prayers.
bella i am so sorry to hear this about you and your dh. It took my at least five years to realize and adjust to my dh's dementia but when he recently went into the hospital with heart failure and several associated problems it really struck me that every day is valuable and I can't have what I used to have but I do have now. I am glad your children are there to be with you. Sending thoughts and prayers to you.