Last night I got a call from the police asking if I knew where my husband was. I gave them the name of the ALF and asked what was going on. DH was found wandering in the opposite direction from where we live and the police had taken him to one of the local hospitals. He has NEVER EVER wandered off before so I was furious that someone at the ALF didn't know he was missing at dinner time. I got a call from the sales director, of course she was full of apologies and I told (yelled) at her that someone should have known and gone to his room to see if he was there. She said one girl saw him before dinner but didn't see him at dinner. Well DUH! couldn't she have checked. To cut it short he will be coming home today. I'm sure he will be worse with the Alz. because at the hospital last night he was talking about some meeting everyone agreeing about the money until one man got up and spoke and then his wife. That's when all hell broke lose!!!! He does not remember leaving the ALF and walking away, it was a warm day and his face was almost as red as a beet! I just hope he doesn't remember his hallucinations and paranoia when he is home.
Probably will get worse,my LO climbed a 8' fence TWICE while aides stood an watched,they said the law prevented them from restraining her,had to call local police dept twice to return her to ALF,after that she was admitted to hospital an never returned home again
ol don, I wonder how those laws run from state to state. I know when Lloyd had his first seizure and idiot me took him to the ER, they put restraints on his wrists and he fought so hard his wrists were black and blue. Apparently those laws don't apply to Ohio or maybe it's hospitals. I don't know if the law is based on their rights, but most of our LO's wouldn't know how to exercise their rights much less realize they have them. You would think you could counteract that with threats of negligence or endangerment. Jean21, I would find a lawyer to have a chat with. There are a lot that will have that first conversation for free! Seems to me that sales director is scared to death you may do just that which means they have done something WRONG!
oh my. jean how horrible. thats a worsecase scenario and everyone is very lucky he was found and ok. he is probably dehydrated poor dear. i agree the facility is in a very bad place with him wandering off. he probably would need a locked down unit with better security jean if you try to find another, just my opinion. leaving a facility is a disaster in waiting. make SURE you get every penny back you put in under these circumstances. you may need to speak to dr about an inhospital meds adjustment just like emily to ensure if you keep him home hes compliant? i would be so upset if this happened. about the restraints, i guess each facility has their own guidelines, but a dr CAN order restraints on a temporary basis if they are in fear of the patients/employees safety. they just dont like to do it. my DH had hand restraints in hospital due to pulling out caths and iv's. and none the worse and in my opinion for the short duration it was for his safety and benefit.
For my father's last hospital visit they had hand restraints because he was pulling out his IVs and trying to get out of bed (he didn't have the strength to stand up). Being my father he managed to release himself from the hand restraints.
Jean: I am so sorry this happened and you are certainly justified in how you feel about it. But, in the two years my DW has been 'confined' (ie in a locked facility) I have known of similar situations. The facilities have so many different ways that they cannot handle things that it never ceased to amaze me. The most recent is that they cannot restrain wheel chair patients in their chairs to keep them from falling out. I witnessed this recently and they did everything they could to help the patient keep from falling, but, eventually the gentlemen fell. All they had to do was turn their head for a moment.
I do know that the situation you describe is a facilities worse nightmare.
What made me angry was being told my DH was seen before dinner but not at dinner. Why didn't whoever saw go check his room to see if he was okay....he could have fallen or been sick but at least they would have known he wasn't there.
emily, as far as I know ALF's don't have lock down. I guess my next step is to check NH's that have Alz. units. I know I can't take the Hallucinations (Delusions) and paranoia again.
JEAN: I have no idea what state you reside in, I don't think it matters much, most are all the same. They are cutting/reducing funding for Reimbursement to all health care providers. I used to provide a service to Nursing homes and am therefore somewhat familiar with their cost structure. I find it amazing that they can continue to provide the services they continue to do at the reimbursement rates they receive. Just on this forum the week there was a thread on a facility unable to control their violent patients and now this. The pay levels for attendants is barely a living wage and we expect competence, compassion, and unrealistic skill levels. The state and federal budget cuts are being made on the backs of seniors and those who can least afford it.
Unfortunately your situation demonstrates the necessity of placing our spouses in dementia specific facilities. Many ALF's are simply not equipped to deal with Alzheimer/dementia patients, as you found out the hard way.
Some ALF's do have lock down units, so you'll have to do a lot of research. One more burden you don't need. So sorry you have to go through this.
Jean - so sorry this happened but thankful your loved one is now safe.
We live in Tenn. my sister is in ALF and their outside doors have alarms when opened without the key less entry code. This code is changed often. My sister's apt. is by one of the doors and she assures me that the alarms do work. She is not a threat to try to open any doors as she does not have dementia but others have decided to go for a walk alone out that door and the alarm does sound she told me. If someone does not show up for a meal they page them in their room and if no answer someone comes to see about them. This I know first hand as sister was ill recently and she told me they came to see why she wasn't at her place in the dining room. So very thankful for that.
Jean--So sorry you had this traumatic experience. My husband lives in a dementia-specific ALF and the whole place is a lock-down unit. There are two keypads with codes before one is able to get to the outside. I wouldn't have considered moving him to any other environment--he is too mobile. I guess if you live in a small town or rural area, this type of facility may not be available.
Jean, so sorry this happened and I do know how scary it is. My husband was in a locked dementia unit in an ALF as a "trial" to see how he would adjust with the intent of keeping him in the ALF. You guessed it-he escaped (through the window screen) and no one knew he was gone. One of the evening aides who was going home after her shift saw him walking on the highway and called the ALF to notify them he had escaped. The ALF refused to take him back because "they could not keep him safe", so he ended up in a psych hospital for med adjustment and was finally sent home with the provision I hire a live-in aide.
It is my understanding that most aides are taught by the state cerification programs (and enforced by the ALFs) that if a patient resists or refuses to do something they are prohibited from forcing them to do something. Ironic, huh? We have them in a facility with "trained" people to help control their behaviors, etc. yet many aides will just watch and say "I can't do anything about it". Quite frankly I think those aides are just lazy...what about distraction techniques, bribery, etc? Yes, they are not paid well but they are supposed to care for our LOs.
Contact your lawyer and have him/her contact the ALF to make sure you get either all or a pro-rated amount of your money returned. It's up to you and the atty if further actions are necessary.
If they are fairly young and healthy they will find a way out. My husband scaled a high fence with a poor little chubby aide in hot pursuit. Moved him to a dementia only ALR. He was in a double locked unit with key pads, door alarms and wearing a wander guard. He got out the front door twice and almost made it out his window several times. Strangely putting traffic stop signs on the windows put a stop to that method of exit seeking.
DH is 83 years old but his only problem is ALZ. We live near Myrtle Beach SC so it is not a rural area or a small town. My feeling it was just incompetent people.
You are supposed to give a 2 week written notice when you vacate a room but I was told I didn't have to do that and I would be reimbursed. I will call tomorrow and try to nail down when I can expect the money.
This all makes me worry. The ALF to which Jeff SHOULD be returning at the end of his med-adjustment stint does have the entire back half of the first floor as a locked dementia wing, with an enclosed yard. Part of his "misbehavior" involved threatening to break windows. It is a pleasant place, with a caring staff, and is very close to my home...so I'd like this to work out, but I wonder sometimes about the ENTIRELY dementia-oriented one, completely enclosed by a fence, 25 minutes away.
i know some of these facilities use ankle or wrist bracelets that go off if they come in contact with an exit. i think it would be one of the first questions out of my mouth, what measures are in place to keep them safe and not leaving the premises? in my own case, a completely enclosed area would be the only choice, an AD unit specifically targeted at dementia patients. jean i hope you get some answers. unacceptable all the way around, starting from him not showing at dinner and nobody checked on him.
A friend told me her mom found a way to get out of ankle bracelet.My friend always took her mothers laundry home with her.When she was stopped going out the door by a nurse,what a surprise that the nurse told her the door alarm went off.Nurse wanted to check the dirty laundry bag.She found a nail file and the ankle bracelet Seems like her mom had used the nail file to file it off.
jean and emily, I truly am trying to be supportive because I KNOW how stressful this situation is. As I mentioned before DH was in a secure dementia unit with a courtyard with a 12 ft fence. Had he not been able to push out the screen (ground floor) on the window, he was clearly casing out how he could get over the fence. He was even able to get out of the secured unit with a keypad by following cosely behind visitors of another resident. Thank god one of the aides noticed that he was walking unaccompanied on the ground. Remarkably there were several benches in the courtyard and DH knew he could stack them and climb over the fence. Oh and as for the ankle bracelet, DH did not have one while in the ALF secure dementia unit but has one at home as a participant in the Project Lifesaver program run by the local sheriff's office. He's broken the the bracelet twice by using his sheer force. The sheriff in charge of the program told us she's NEVER had a client break one with their bare hands-usually they cut them off. One more challenge of having a young, healthy person with dementia
LFL, DH is not young but he is healthy except for Alz. I doubt he would be able to break an ankle bracelet because he has lost weight over the last couple of years and doesn't have the strength he used to have. Of course it could be wishful thinking on my part. I never thought he would wander off either!!!!!!
Jean, you never know...I've heard stories about frail old ladies breaking something with their bare hands and threatening people with the ragged edges.
Leaping Lizards!, this was not the news I was hoping for Jean. Goodness! I just can't believe it....... You must have been beside yourself with worry for your Dh and anger at the ALF. I truly hope you are able to find a better and more secure place for your husband. ((hugs))
Since I brought DH home from the ALF he has been talking about us or him working. NOTHING he says make sense. It's a "guy" and I am supposed to know who he means. Actually DH is the only one who knows this guy. Last night he was talking about us working today with the "guy". He was getting his nail clippers to take with him on this job. I can't imagine what job he would need nail clippers for unless he was going to give a manicure! I'm not sure how much longer I can take it before I lose it completely. He can't think of any words he wants to use. It a "thing" or the "guy" and if I do happen to arrive at the correct guess he goes off on something different. A while ago he was looking for the "thing" ( newspaper). He got the front section as is looking for something about sports. It is in the sports section so I found it for him and a baseball game that is on TV. He is saying if it doesn't work he is not going to do it anymore!!!! I put the game on for him and he is on the patio smoking.aaaaaaaaaargh.
Jean21, I am so sorry you are having to go through this. Been going through much of the same for the past 3 days. Constant talking, but can't quite get it out. Said he said our "other" dog that keeps coming around (not). Asked if I put all the horses in the garage (never had horses); why is garage painted red ( not) are we fixing the wndows today (Note: I don't do windows). And on and on - nothing making any sense. If I didn't know better I'd swear there was a full moon!
Hope things calm down for you, Jean. Thinking of you.
It must be something in the air. Yesterday was truly Friday the 13th for me. If I didn't know better I would say it is the same DH spending time between both our houses. Yesterday was the "first ever" for me. Until now DH has been mild-mannered not able to describe things and delusional about people coming in here at night and stealing his fortune and tools. He got very angry and said he was going to work. I told him he had retired 11 yrs. ago. NOT SO! If I wouldn't drive him then he would drive himself. I am not sure if he even knows how to get there. Things got pretty heated. I called my son 1000 miles away to talk to him and create a diversion while I called the dr. It did calm him a little. Dr. called me and said he was prescribing an anti-depressant Paxil for now. We have to give it a couple of weeks to work.
Like you, Jean, it gets so difficult and I get so tired of taking care of a 2 yr. old all the time. Then I think it could be a lot worse so I shape up for another round.
Hey gals...add #3....I had to call his neuro this morning he is so out of it. Neuro told me to take him to the ER.....For the past three hours have been trying to get him in the shower. He is finally in there. Took me an hour to get him to eat his breakfast so he could take his meds. I may have to call 911 to take him to the ER if he won't go. He keeps saying he stand this and he is going to kill himself. Don't know how he will do that.
I gave him a mini quiz just to see how bad his memonry has gotten in the past 6 months or so. I never wanted to do that when he seemed somewhat OK. He gave the wrong town we live in....didn't know how old he was... doesn't know, phone number or address. Couldn't subtract 2 from 20. Didn't realize his memory had gotten that bad.
I took another Ativan....can't handle much more stress.
JudithKB, If I was told to get my DH to the ER I would call 911 in a heart beat. I gave up on the neuro we had. He never did reply to the last two letters I sent him. He wouldn't raise the dosage on the Seroquel and when I asked for a referral to a place here that does evaluations and med adjusments he never even acknowledge it. So I am trying to find a way to get a referral. The RN who has a home caregiver business here said he will call our PCP Monday morning and see if he can get him to refer DH to get SOMETHING done for DH.... and me! CALL 911 NOW and good luck.
For heavens sake, don't worry about the shower, and breakfast, etc. etc. E R stands for EMERGENCY room, not "whenever you get around to it" Room. It took me several years, but eventually I learned that my own approach to some things created much of my stress.. and I worked on that. I WOULD have dresssed myself in a comfortable outfit, dabbed on a little make-up, and prepared for long waiting hours with a book or magazine stuffed into my handbag...., knowing without a doubt that the hospital can give him breakfast, meds, and cleaned him up if he wa dirty.
Bless your heart.. I truly know you were trying to do your best, but you have to let go of that bicycle seat and let him go go go and let others catch him.
Don't worry about the shower, etc. Just do as his doctor asked. I recently attended a conference on FTD/PPA (my husband has FTD) and one of the speakers told us and made us all repeat it back to her:
"NO ONE EVER DIED FROM NOT BATHING"
I know it's hard to let that go...I'm still trying...but it is good advice.
What is it with this Alz...Just get to ER, before something bad happens....as Deb said "NO ONE EVER DIED FROM NOT BATHING"
We all seem to be going through the same thing at this time...talking in riddles, can't work out what he's saying most times...right now as i type here and check on him every two minutes...Dh is looking for pay slips that he thinks his old work place of 16 years ago..owes him money for... What's next?
Yesterday was our 50th anniversary...we went out with family for lunch...today doesn't remember a thing...a bitter sweet anniversary...
I have a significant day tomorrow and H has no idea.
He speaks in riddles also. I find some part of it I can agree with. Today: "it is the middle of winter" while tulips are blooming outside his bedroom window. So, I said, "yes, it is chilly today". I feel this way I am somewhat validating what he thinks without out and out lying.