Hi, I have been a frequent reader of this website but seldom post. I am caring for my husband, Frank, who was diagnosed in 2006. He is slipping away from us on the steady decline you all know about. I still work fulltime and have full time care for him at home when I'm at work. I am thinking this is the year we will need to place him in a care facility as the physical challenges of helping him are becoming more difficult for me. I am sorry I don't have time to research all the posts on this subject, but I was hoping for some input on this question I am debating. I have been procrastinating on our Medicaid application, because - I don't know guilt I suppose - and we will need Medicaid to pay because we don't have the money - don't know what I will do if we are not approved. We've been on waitlists at several facilities for about a year (thank goodness for my wonderful Alz. support group for providing so many helpful suggestions like that). There are two that seem likely: one is in the town where I work (Boulder-they have called me twice about available beds) and the other is in Denver, a 30 minute drive. The Boulder facility has decent evaluations and caring staff but they are overworked and the facility seems a bit sterile. The state run Veteran's home in Denver is newer, nicer and better staffed. But it would require a 30-minute drive into the city (in light traffic) for me and close to an hour for dh's son, who has been a caring and loving caregiver to his Dad (a blessing of his unemployment). What thoughts and experiences can you share to help us with this decision?
frankswife--I guess the answer depends on how hands-on you plan to be once your husband is placed. I moved my husband last August, and am glad I went for the closer facility because I determined that I need to be there every day. Unexpected circumstances can arise that you or his son will need to make DAILY visits, and so convenience ibecomes a big deal. My husband developed periodontal (gum) problems because, although it is an excellent ALF, the dental hygiene care only average. I now go to clean his teeth as the dentist instructed, because I want to avoid any tooth loss. I had initially decided on a place that was farther away from my home, not anticipating the need for daily visits. We just don't know what will come up in the future. In terms of the closer place seeming a bit sterile--it probably wouldn't be noticed by your husband. Overworked staff isn't a good thing, but I'd say to give it a try and just be diligent about the care he should get.
This is tough. First of all, you need to check with Medicaid to find out which facilities they will approve. Just because a facility says, "Oh, yes, we take Medicaid", doesn't necessarily mean that Medicaid will pay for that facility. I didn't know this, and was blindsided when I started looking ( for way in the future - I do things early) for places for Sid, if and when the need arises. They sent me a list of places they will pay for. If it's not on the list, they won't pay. No exceptions.
Next step would be to find out from people who have their loved ones in the both the Boulder and Denver facililties. Looks can be deceiving. Everyone around here places their Alzheimer LO in a particular Alz. facility. When I visited, I was unimpressed, to say the least. It was old and basic. Nothing like the fancy ones I have seen that have special "pacing gardens" and "grandmother's attic" rooms full of nostalgic items. Yet everyone who has placed a LO in the basic facility raves about its staff and the care.
If the news from people who have LO's in either facility is better for one than the other, I would think you'd have to go with the one with the better reviews, and travel the distance if that is the better one.
I'm sure members with much more experience at this than I, will be along to help you out.
Welcome Frankswife. I would suggest contacting an eldercare attorney in your area to give you an estimate on assisting you in preparing an application for Medicaid assistance if this is needed. They can expedite the process and, I believe, increase the liklihood of approval. I am not familiar w/what costs you may have if your spouse is a veteran and the Denver facility is for veterans. In any case, the attorney can make sure all your legal documents, POA, etc. are in order.
I will assume you have toured both locations. My experience with visiting a spouse w/ALZ has been the length and frequency of the visits have become less frequent and shorter as the disease progresses. If it were my choice, and I was more comfortable w/the care at one over the other, I would choose the best care. It will be his new home and he will have a 24 hr enviornment of care. The convenience for a visit would be secondary for me. I wish you all the best as you make this transition.
The VA social worker or business office can let you know if they accept medicaid. I know the ones here in Oregon and Washington do since they are actually not owned by the VA but are State Homes for veterans. My FIL was in the VA dementia unit in Bedford, MA and he got excellent care. When we would visit we walked the hallways or sat in the lounge area where most of the men were at a table and the women sat visiting. If you can visit the facility and the wives do the same, that would be a good way to get the feel of it.
Maybe you can visit the one closer in the evening when family are present and talk with them. But, as was said, before doing the research make sure they take medicaid. I am assuming since the one closest to you has called about having an opening they would know you are going to use medicaid for payment.
I live in the country, a half hour away is nothing. I tend to disagree with Tom's opinion (forgive me Tom) that the visits become less as the disease progresses. Lynn has been in his "home" for 3 years now. I still go to see him almost every single day. I think it depends on the person and the bond they have perhaps.
Lynn's home is about 25 mins away. But I would travel further if the level of care was better elsewhere. Nicer in looks means nothing to me. I'm entrusting them with the most precious thing in the world to me, it has to be about the quality of care.
I personally found the Medicaid process easy and fast. I went to our local health and human service dept and they helped me with everything, for free. Best of luck to you!
I will weigh in with support for the premise that the quality of care trumps facility fanciness every time. Jeff's ALF (may we return in peace,) is very nice, but it's the people there that matter, and the attention they give him.
Currently he is at a hospital geri-psych unit for medication adjustment. The floor is not beautiful. Dreary, actually. But the staff attends to the patients well, and--frankly--the beauty (or lack thereof) of the facility just don't register with Jeff. He needs to be safe and cared for. So make sure you know what "nicer" means when you compare your two options!
These are exactly the kind of helpful tips I have been looking for, thank you all. I am still having trouble picturing taking dh someplace and leaving him. It is hard to imagine, but also hard to imagine caring for him at home indefinitely. I have visited both places once and talked to families at the local facility but not the Veteran's. I have met with eldercare attornies. I think I will have stepson visit both facilities with our daughter and me soon, and his input will probably help us, since he will have the worst drive. I am feeling like the Veteran's home will provide the most stimulation and care with more resources. They have very low staff turnover and I think this is a good indication that they are not stressed out and overworked. I think his care and comfort is more important than our drive time.
Frankswife: These are caring folks and they have offered you some wonderful suggestions. My only comment is that the facility itself doesn't matter to a patient with this horrible disease. Someone said when I was getting to place my wife that thick carpet and a changelier in the entry way are meaningless in a facility. I have found that to be true. However, cleanliness of the facility and kindness of the staff cannot be comprimised.
Nikki, I was lucky like you. My Medicad process was done free for me. Jean (yes, he's a male, French for John) was placed over two years ago. I, also, goes just as much as I did at the beginning. I'm not sure if he knows me anymore or not. I'm lucky. I've always been satisfied with his care and it's only about 10 minutes away.
Nikki I absolutely agree with you. I really do not look at it as a visit, I look at it as being a constant advocate for the care of your loved one. Visits are for those who can enjoy a visit, our visits are for making sure they are getting proper care and believe you me they will not if the family is not constant and never relenting. The more the disease progresses the more the loved one will need the family being there. I have found that no matter what home or facility you choose, the people who work in them are the same, some are good and care and others will not give a thought to your loved one. Million Dollar facility or just an average home, people are people and they are all the same.