It wasn't the usual kind of ring. I can tell these things. There was a troglodyte on the other end of that flashing little sign along with that airport seatbelt sign coming on sound that I set my phone to...private caller...private caller...private caller.
Fight or flight? I was already angry at being interrupted for my 11 o'clock self deprecation/low self esteem session (I multi task) and while I wasn't in the mood to reach out and touch someone the back of my brain was flashing "Warning Will Robinson! Warning Will Robinson!" and it reached my plaqueless working neurons that the last time I talked to Mr Private Caller, it was the government reviewing my wife's disability claim. Oh oh.
When they know where you live it's game over so I picked up the phone and like a scared nine year old said "Hello?" into the little piece of plastic with holes in it where I'm supposed to speak into. Have I got that right? Yes. "Hello Mrs Robinson" I thought the caller said. "Mr." I corrected. "Pardon?" she asked. I checked to make sure I wasn't in a Fellini film. Nope everything was still in color.
"This is the government." she declared and I swear I heard eerie music being played when she said that. Was this the Nigerian government phoning about the check I sent to free up that money the letter said I had?
"We're calling to discuss the claim you made for your wife in November." she said in a friendly voice causing me to go into cardiac arrest because they had approved my claim and even sent me 1 1/2 years of back pension because I claimed she was disabled and therefore entitled to her full government pension even though she was only 58 at the time - not 65 like the rest of us poor slobs waiting.
"GET OUT OF THERE SOLDIER!!" my internal voice was screaming, "We'll lay down supressing fire!"
"Oh yes." I answered casually where she immediately launched into reminding me that I had claimed such and such a date and they had sent me a check and that was wrong. God, I couldn't have disagreed more and if I could have found my vocal cords I would have; but, I had been struck mute and was just waiting for the sledgehammer to the head. Thoughts of Bolivia were running through my head. Grab the cats, race to the bank machine while there was still time, and get the first flight...
"Our review committee has gone through your wife's claim and determined she would not have been in a state where she could have understood her own condition." she explained slowly. What state? I'm not in a state. What was she talking about? Nevada get any money? Disconneticut this call? "Are you there?" she asked gently. "Yes. Yes, I'm listening." I whimpered.
"So we've determined that your wife was actually incapacitated at that time already and after contacting your specialist have changed the date of application." she went on. "Yes. Changed the date." I repeated feeling myself shut down for a nice long hibernation.
"Which means we are adjusting the monthly amount you are now getting downwards." she went on and I suddenly understood what it was like that day in September 1914 charging ahead valiantly on your horse and seeing the tanks lined up to greet you just beginning to realize you may not be adequately protected. "...by $14 a month."
Oh. Not too bad then. "And we will be depositing $33,779.62 into your account for the balance."
Have you ever bungie jumped? One second your standing beside your friends in a perfectly normal way and the next you're plunging to your death until you're jerked back (JUST KIDDING!!!) and you're just bobbing around in space like flotsom and jetsom in that cartoon.
"Are you there?" she asked again almost laughing. "Can you say that again?" I begged racing for a pen while she explained again that if my wife were not disabled she would have claimed her disability much early but the disability prevented her from doing so. "Uh huh." I agreed poised with my pen. "Have you got a pen handy?" she asked. "Pardon?" I asked. "Got a pen?" she asked. "No I've already got one." I answered. She laughed and slowly repeated the amount.
You know communism looks good on paper. It's just that nobody does anything. And pure capitalism looks good too but like Warren Buffett likes to say "If you're in a high stakes poker game and you're looking around wondering who the patsy is...it's you." Meaning by the time ordinary people catch on it is so too late. And I'm more in the Winston Churchill camp who thinks all government forms are terrible but democracy is somewhat less terrible than the others. I have to tell you though, this side order of socialism idea up here in Canader (as the Brits call us), not too bad, not too bad.
Happy April. Happy April fools day. The check however and the story are true including the exact amount which represents three years worth of disability pension because the government of Canada decided my wife was actually disabled earlier and so was entitled to the money earlier even though nobody asked.
The world is crazy. Some people still think it's flat and some think aliens are among us and some think the world will end on December 21 because the stars are alligned except they're alligned like that every single winter solstace. And even though my wife is reduced to eating a banana if you hold it right, she just always knew how to make money.
Congrats, Wolf. I remember the same dazed but grateful feeling when we stopped by a social security office to see if I could get a copy of the report their psychiatrist did on Steve. The receptionist looked in the computer and said something that alerted me to the fact that his disability claim had already been approved (no letter had been received yet). I felt weak in the knees, but so happy that at least this hurdle was behind us.
I will continue this on as April since no other one has been started.
My husband is sad and so am I. The guy who he kept in contact with during the winter and looked to forward to having the summer to hang out with has moved out of the park today. His girlfriend got a job in the office of a park about 14 miles away. 'R' said he would come back and visit but it will not be the same. When hubby came into the office to talk about it I could see he wanted to cry but did not.
Had a good visit with Sallie from this site today. Will have to visit more often than we did last summer.
My second day of working and it feels so good to be back working with RVers. Last year every time I had to use the cash register I would have what I call an anxiety attack and break out in a sweat. So far that has not happened which is fine with me.
Charlotte = So happy for you that you are back at the RV park and enjoying yourself. I need to advertise our 5th wheel to sell. Do you have a suggestion as to where I can find out what should be an asking price. I have looked online but can't find a Blue Book for campers. This is going to be a hassle as dh still thinks he can drive and we'll go some place camping. But that will never be and I just paid insurance on it and don't want to continue that expense.
April 6th is the day we lost our beautiful Tuxie cat, Cookie, to the cardiac condition called hypertrophic cardiomyopathy...she had been doing well for the 13 months since DX but then last evening about 5pm she started to breathe with her mouth open...rather suddenly..her meds were not working now..and films showed fluid in and around her lungs. Around the lungs to the degree she could not expand her lungs..she was given a mild sedative to try to help her relax and breathe easier but that was all it took to send her to the Rainbow Bridge. I hate April.
Not liking April much either...but...it's pretty outside. There's that. I'm spending this Spring dealing with the very heavy feeling that, once Jeff gets discharged from the geriatric psych unit for med adjustment, I'm somehow responsible for being fair to what's left of his fading brain while keeping everyone at the ALF safe from further aggressive episodes. I don't know how I can BE responsible for all that, but I feel like I am.
flo - go to www.nadaguide.com Click on consumer, rv and find your value there. I tried it tonight and evidently the consumer side was down. That is where I find the value of ours.
hb continues to amaze me. The first time we went to Wal-mart 15 miles away he drove without asking once how to get there. Twice people have come into the park that he remembers from last year. The latest are a couple parked near us that were here last May - he recognized them and their RV. Go figure! When we were driving to Sallie's the other day, once I got on her road he remembered which house she lived in from last year.
I doubled his Tumeric/curcurmin because that is the dosage they are using in the new trials starting out. I have no idea if that has made the improvement in memory but in case it has helped, I will not stop it. Then again this may be a fluck but time will tell.
Yes we do, And DH, who normally is pragmatic about this sort of thing, is having a hard time..he voices how he misses her. She was just a bigger than life kitty..She would get up on the table or if she was in your lap and she wanted you to pet her, and you didn't pick up on her messages, she would just punch you in the nose with her paw or pat you on the cheek..always gently. She was always " busy" with some kitty project..from chewing out the crows outside to investigating what was in the coffee pot to letting you know she had not given you permission to sit in HER chair!! By contrast, Ebonie, my other kitty, is very quiet..you hardly know she is here. So the void is huge! It has been hard to gather up the things Cookie used, her dishes and toys..and leftover meds. She even had her own room so cleaning that former guest room which became Cookie's Room for so many months seems so empty..guess it really is...I think I will put a framed portrait photo which I took of her, in that room now to be known as Cookie's Room...
Oh Mimi, how my heart breaks for you & your DH. I also have a tuxie with a BIG personality & I know how much I will miss him when he goes to kitty heaven. We just get so attached to our furry family members & rightly so! Sometimes they are the only ones we can count on to comfort us when we need it. Sending comfort & ((HUGS)) to you!
Mimi - we lost a cat we had for 10 years to a similar cause. My sympathy to you we still miss that cat although we've had some since and have a new one now we still remember Bennie. She stayed close to the house and was afraid of any loud noise so never would go near the road. DH had a tom he named Boomer and that cat just never came home one morning. He was neutered so usually stayed around but we live in a semi rural area and there are coyotes so that may have been his end. He was not afraid of anything and probably met his match. DH really misses him as he was always with him in the yard and field. I could find dh by seeing where Boomer was.
Charlotte - thanks for the web site I'll look there. I am going to see if our pcp will help me convince dh that he can no longer take the 5th wheel out. He is not going to take this lightly and I dread it. But neither do I want to pay insurance on some thing that is going to stay in the garage.
Flo - go flatten a tire then it can't be moved. If it is payed for insurance should not be that much. Tell the agent you want storage price.
Mimi - it has been 4 years since our doggy of 16 years died. Remember we live in a motorhome - I still find her 2 favorite balls, collar, leash, and a few other things of hers. I see them and stuff them back where they are stored. One of the balls is a plastic baseball (the type that comes with the big plastic bats) - when we travel it finds it way out and rolls around! Our furry friends - they win our hearts.
I think the thing about a kitty with a huge personality is not only does , as Cookie did, provide a level of amusement for the victim of alz but also is big company for the caregiver..there was a certain kind of "life" in the house when Cookie was getting into mischief, checking something out, coming in and pestering me for something be it snacks, her meal or just attention. Her motions were never without some kind of motive. So now the house is just too quiet...on the tv is on and I have to tell D'H to turn it down, but gone are the days when I found the two of them snoozing together or Cookie just doing something funny. Ebonie comes pretty much only to me...though she will snuggle with him. Those special in your face puddy tats have a special mission they seem to meet for caregivers..I guess in someway they take care of the caregiver by letting them know they are there for us.
I agree with you Marie--the worst thing about not having Jeff at home is that pushy bossy Chessie the cat can't climb into his lap and demand to be rubbed. My daughter and I are having to to double duty, but I miss it so much for him.
so sorry to hear of the pet loss mimi. and any others who are suffering. i know firsthand like you the loss of life in the house. and i also agree they are as much for the caregiver as anyone else. they keep us going and a smile on our face. lets not forget too that the pets suffer with AD as well. my little guy hes old now, still puts his tiny ball at 'daddys' feet hoping he will throw it. it brings great sadness to see they dont understand this horrible disease either.
Today has been a nightmare with it all. First out the gate was a question about the girls coming for his birthday..how did he know this, it was to be a surprise..I'LL tell you how it got to him...his pals took him golding last week.Earlier I had told one of them the girls were coming so that the guys would not plan any outings yet..but one of them blabbed..Damn they are worse than old gossipy women!!!!! My surprise for him, when there is so little one can even plan for an alz patient, is wrecked and he won't forget this because he has put it on his calendar and will ask me now until doomsday.
Then the issue of Cookie came up...where is she? what happened? they couldn't help her? She died here at home..NO at the pet ER....and over and over... Not a good day.
It sure is. bluedaze*...I printed out some photos of Cookie today..some cute ones to give the vet and some for us, and I put one in a frame in what was Cookie's Room..
It continues to be cold here too...and rain is in the offing.
Our vet called today to see how we are coping. I wanted to donate the new meds that just came for Cookie for someone else who might have a need for these meds but they can't take them..guess it is against the law even through it came from a pharmacy just for compounding meds for pets..RoadRunner Pharmacy out of Phx. AZ.
Our other kitty, Ebonie, is out and about but she is a really quiet little thing compared to the Bette Middler personality of Cookie and that is awful...Cookie gave some reasons to smile at her antics...I feel like I am in a hole.
I am so sorry mimi. We lost 2 cats in under 8 weeks back in 2006. Scruffy died of something similar to Cookie. I used to tell him that it must be good to be king and I hoped one day to have a taste of it. I miss them both so much still. I rescued Cleo a few months later from a crazy lady in our building. I love her dearly and could not be without a cat. They give you an excuse for talking out loud when you are all alone.
Yeah I hear ya and I talk out loud a lot these days..so having the cat around makes sense and people don't think I have gone round the bend..
We are slowly getting used to our missing girl...we have a couple of pictures around in her favorite places..it is too darn quiet and I find myself still going to get her meds or see what she is up to ..then it hits me...The memories of her are terrific..I only wish I had taken more videos of her..I am not too great with the video but I do have several stills of her..
husband broke his glasses today - again. He has used gorilla glue to fix the metal frame where it broke. We still have 2 months or so before his new ones arrive. Last month he has his exam at the VA and the estimated delivery was 4-6 months. Hope it is not that long. I was curious cause seems like every time I think about getting my eyes checked, he breaks his. I checked and it was 2003 when I last got my glasses. No wonder they are getting worse. It will be a long time yet before I can go get my eyes checked but thankfully I can still see fine on the computer by just moving back a little.
Tough week going to my best friend's mother's funeral and trying to get the taxes together for the last few years where a number of important documents are missing. I tried to put away everything important these last few years but my DW had a way of putting things in weird places. I should have watched the garbage more and the newspapers. All I find time and again is cards and pictures of our X-friends - the spineless jellyfishes and notes from my wife reminding herself of things. Sigh.
And then going through the living room cabinet jammed with papers of all sorts, I suddenly realized I had completely ignored the christmas tree which is still up and apparently became invisible. At least one tradition lives on.
It just keeps going. I am so happy to be back working here at the park. Unfortunately things keep going wrong with the MH. We got the electric stop fixed just before we came. The other day I started smelling propane. Seemed to be coming from the oven. Seems when I turn it off the gas is not getting shut off totally. So, I am leaving the pilot light burning (which I never do) - smell is gone. Tonight I come home from work and the microwave/convection oven is dead! He used it to cook his TV dinner tonight. It was on when I opened the door to put my dinner in, but when I went to push the buttons it died. I have no idea what is wrong. The breaker was not tripped but I have it off for now. In the past we have tried to find where it is plugged in, but unable. Probably have to take the thing off the wall/cabinet to find it.
Oh well, just more to figure out. Where is my MR. Fix-it when I need him? Lost somewhere in the world of AD. ;-(
My sister called today - she has no memory of all the horrible things she said to me last December. She wanted to know what to do with mail from the employment department for hb - they want him to take vocational rehab so he can go back to work!!! Ha, ha, ha!!!!
Oh, rain today but this weekend is suppose to be in the upper 70s, maybe low 80s and the park has lots of people. This is pre-barrel tasting weekend. It is the time of year when they are bottling the new wines and the wineries make a big deal of it. WE are sold out next week.
My nephew flew in from Victoria to try and convince me not to give up on life. He's worried about me now that I've asked him to be my executor and POA. "You should teach." he's saying clicking his Blackberry while he talks.
"Think of me as Albert Einstein except really good looking." I answered. "Really good looking." I repeated seeing I had unstuck his concentration. What?
"It's good of you to come out." I repeated.
We went together to feed my wife lunch. She staying at the studio where they shot One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest and the original cast is still there. "What?!" I challenged her slumped in her wheelchair in the corner while the staff handed out those little funeral sandwiches with milk and limp fries. "You don't call? You don't write?" It was a tough room and the audience ignored me but the staff chuckled. We fed her. Well I did while my nephew clacked away on his Blackberry. zzzzzzzz. Now what? Your vibrator is calling you for your fix.
When we left I waved at them all like it was an MGM movie and that little old lady who did the "Where's the beef??" commericals 50 years ago was there waving back. She giggled because she had gotten another handful of male buttcheeks which isn't where the beef is but hey. The staff pulled her hands off and escorted her back to her wheelchair with an evil grin on her face. Ok. Bye bye now.
There's a sign in the lobby by the aquarium tank that says, "Dream like you'll live forever. Live like this is your last day." And sitting beside my nephew driving me back I looked out at the turtle crossing sign where the residence is beside a swamp - sorry, I mean nature preserve and I've been warned activists sit in lawnchairs along here in the summer screaming at anyone driving too fast for the turtles. I glanced at my nephew caught up in the corporate world and thought about my wife slumped in her chair and in the 16 seconds I allow myself to think about me each day realized I'm not dead yet.
My brilliant plan to timeshift has worked. By mentioning May in the April thread I have opened the fabric of space and here I am in May posting on the April thread (evil genius laughter).
Mimi...don't mean to offend you...but, I am really worried about you...where was our May Day luncheon? I had some real beautiful red and white roses I had cut and put in the Refig. to keep them fresh looking. And, I made my favorite lemon cookies with just a hint of blueberry topping. Such beautiful colors for Spring.
Maybe you are having a rough time right now. Hope you can do a party for the 4th I will be looking forward to the party. Maybe a picnic at a park would be nice for a change.
(For you new posters, no I haven't totally flipped out...but Mimi is our Party gal...she is in charge of all our parties on this site and she does such a great job of getting it totally organized).
Afternoon everyone.! i finally got my laptop back from servicing. it took over a week to basically wipe it clean and reinstall everything new!! i got one of the worst newer viruses around and it took my computer from the ground up. what a mess. and by the way, having withdrawal from emails and computers is quite a challenge. i was so very ansy the first few days!!! i could read from my other little webtv but it was acting up too and i couldnt access joans or to post.
at any rate, i am looking forward to catching up on a huge amount of new posters and posts! yay DH got over his recent uti once again wwe are trugging along til the next one. sigh. its been a harrowing 10days!! divvi
So good to hear from you, divvi. Been wondering how the compuer glitch was coming along. Happy to hear your DH got over the UTI - and I know YOU are still trugging along! Hugs
WoW...being without a computer is like nothing else I can think of. It is like my only contact with the outside world most of the time. Some of my older friends that do not use a computer, say to me..."What do you do on that thing?". I always tell them..."It's the only contact and communication I have with the outside world most of the time".
thank you thank you. i missed you more!!! how do we grow attached to coming here to see how everyone is fairing. some days we find so much grief and other days good news. being able to access friends here is such a blessing for us all. divvi
I missed you so much too divvi, and was just about to start asking. Mimi is back too, maybe we can have a party! How about one to celebrate our beloved pets everyone is talking about?