I have strongly have felt Sleep is key. Actually I think SLEEP is it for Caregivers to survive. So an informal survey, how much do you get? And where is your stress level .......one being low and 10 being beyond belief? And what stresses you the most?
I know sleep is the key to my survival! Fortunately, DH goes to bed around 6 p.m. and sleeps until 6 a.m. So, most nights I get my 7-8 hours, only waking when he gets up to go to the bathroom, usually 1-2 times only. Not much stress at night - only in the daytime! Guess my level is about a 10 for sleep - but a 6 for other stresses.
I usually end up with 7 hours on work days - I get up 5-5:15 a.m. to get ready for work. It's bad, though, when DH is unable to get up by himself to pee ... and I end up getting up every 2 hours or so. It's like being the mom of a newborn!
If I have too little sleep, I get heart palpitations. And it's a rough go at work.
Last night I anticipated a really nice sleep -- I love sleeping in on the weekends. At 2:30 a.m. he awoke me, calling my name. I asked him what was wrong. He said nothing, he was just calling my name to see if I was OK. Huh? Then at 4 a.m. I was up stripping the bed, as he had had an accident. Ugh. The blessing was that after I got the laundry going and the bed remade, I was able to sleep until 8 a.m. :)
I remember when my girls were infants, my mom would say "sleep when the baby sleeps." So sometimes on weekends, when DH goes back to bed after breakfast, I do the same! Of course then nothing gets done around the house!!!
My stress level changes day to day, depending on what is going on! It hasn't been too terrible lately, down in the lower numbers. But if there is a fire to put out [dealing with insurance, etc.] or if he is having a weak day physically, then the stress goes up to the 8 or more level.
I know this sounds like a stupid question, but since my dh does not have the pee/poop problems yet, I would like to know if there a reason for so much peeing at night? Is there any medication one can give for that? Does it help if they don't drink liquids so many hours before going to bed?
I have have always been the one that said these problems would be the "line in the sand" for me regarding placement. But as time goes on I am just wondering if it really will be that for me and if there is anyway to have some control over the night time problems?
Forgot to add the following regard to your sleeping question...I want to keep the correct topic going. I sleep every night 7 to 8 hours and that is sufficient to me, but if I don't get that much sleep then I am really tired the next day. That is why I am wondering about all the problems at night so many have with their spouses....that would just do me in.
Any sleep problem I have is my fault, not my wife's. She goes to bed shortly after 8:00 PM and has to be awakened at 8:00 AM. I usually go to bed around 9:30 PM and get up at 7:45 AM. HOWEVER, I also get up every 1-2 hours to pee. So, I'm not sure how much sleep I get. I don't nap during the day, even when my wife is napping. I would put my stress level around 3 or 4. Fortunately, she is really easy to care for.
JudithKB In reponse to your question which is not at all stupid. Frequent passing of urine especially at night is very common among men 60+ in non-AD males the cause is usually an enlarged prostate (BHP) or worst case scenario prostate cancer, usually very slow progressing and most men pass from other causes well long before the cancer becomes invasive and metastasizes. Most PCP's run a PSA blood test and perform a digital exam of the prostate as a normal part of the 60+ male annual physical. With AD as the disease progresses loss of control of bodily functions, such bowel and bladder control can be anticipated as a normal progression of the disease process. (not gender specific) If the diagnosis is BHP complexed by AD there are drugs to shrink the prostate, all with varying degrees of side effects and effectiveness. The best remedy is to reduce fluid intake after 6PM. Keep in mind it is critical that fluid intake during the day hours be sufficient to avoid dehydration issues.
I have trouble getting DH to go to bed,sometimes it is midnight,but can be 3-4 AM.If he goes earlier he gets up and goes thru his drawers,and sometimes mine and puts every thing in boxes and bags. I am lucky to get 3-4 hrs a night. and will ask Dr. for something for him next visit. I did try melatonin,worked a few days and then quit,I upped the dose,no luck.I am thankful I grew up only getting around 5-6 hrs. a night(my family had a tavern) so I don't feel too badly.
We usually go to get ready for bed around 10:30. I watch t.v. and dh can take care of all his personal needs but is slow so he gets in bed after 11. I continue to watch t.v. until sleepy. Dh goes right to sleep he has always been capable of sleeping no matter what. (crying babies, dogs barking whatever I was envious.) He does get up two or sometimes three times in the night and insists on telling me he is getting up and then he wants to begin a conversation when he comes back to bed. I usually just don't answer - maybe he thinks I'm asleep but I always wake up and listen to be sure he is using the bathroom in our room and not down the hall as he has before and gets confused as to where the bedroom is. Ours is not a large house, by the way. My pcp said taking tylenol p.m. was o.k. so I do that and am able then to return to sleep after all the bathroom visits by both of us. My stress level is sometimes a 10 with outside family members and their junk plus trying to deal with dh and his frustrations. With him alone most of the time it ranges 4-6 probably.
Dh is ready for bed by 7-730pm, and he will not go unless i go to bed too, so I watch a TV in bed for a couple of hours. .. but I do a lot of tossing and turning and only end up getting about 4-6 hours sleep.
Husband sleeps all night. I am the one that can't get to sleep until 1 or 2, even taking a sleeping pill. If I don't take the sleeping pill I am restless all night - don't get a good night sleep. With an OTC sleeping pill I do sleep better. But - I am the one up within an hour to pee, then every couple hours. I usually sleep until 8 - 9 which makes 6 or 7 hours of sleep.
Well in an earlier post I said I woke up when dh goes to bathroom in the night. Didn't happen last night until I heard him talking about not finding the bed in the living room! He was wandering in the hallway after his bathroom visit. The bed is about 3 feet from the bathroom door but poor soul turned the wrong way and went into the hall. So I'm going to have to try to be more alert when he gets up. Strange how his mind works why would he think the bed is in the living room? Sad
Flo...like several on here have suggested you might want to get a dog or baby gate to put at the door so he can't wonder out of the bedroom. We have one that I use to keep the dog out of my sewing room but I will need it if and when I need it to help keep my dh in a certain area.
Due to the Seroquel & Melatonin I give DH he does sleep pretty well & usually wakes up once to pee. I also sleep quite well, due to the generic Tylenol PM & melatonin I take every night. I sleep around 7 hours, but I sleep lightly because I hear him when he gets up to pee.
Lately not much. My husband is on Seroquel and a sleeping pill, but has been waking up about 3 am every night and saying "help me, I don't know what to do." I tell him to just lay down and go back to sleep. He says he doesn't know how to lay down or go back to sleep. If I go into the other room he just walks around screaming my name and even fell down the stairs one night. I work every day and have to get up about 5:30, so not having enough sleep is definitely an issue. I can tell it is affecting my work and my client has even been a real "S---" lately about it. I actually thought I was going to lose my job a couple of weeks ago. People can be such buttheads. Help me out here people! So that only adds to my stress level, which I would say at this point is about a 20!! Have him on a waiting list for a facility - but who knows when that will be. Arg... can't wait until Monday because at least he goes to Daycare all week.
Wish I knew what to tell you or how to help. Would it be possible to get someone to do the "night shift" for you at least a couple of nights a week. Or have you talked with your doctor and maybe he could help get your husband a placement or give your dh some type of medication so he would sleep at night. This must be terrible for you.
My DH goes to bed between 8:30 & 9. My 86 yr old mother who lives with me goes to bed at 9. The only alone time I have is when they are both in bed. I usually fall asleep on the sofa, wake up at midnight then go to bed. Then I'm up every hour with DH going to the bathroom. Also when he comes back to bed its hard to get him To lay down because he doesn't comprehend " put your head on the pillow". I get him up at 6 am to get him ready for daycare then I'm off to work until 7 pm. So I get very little sleep!
I get between 3-4 hours a night and about an hour nap during the day a few times a week. I have never required a lot of sleep, even growing up I would only sleep between 5 and 6 hours a night. Sometimes Kathryn doesn't get to sleep until midnight and I can't sleep as long as she is awake then I get up at 3:00am to give her some medicine. I get up at 4:00 or 4:30 to work Monday thru Friday.
I would say that I have generally averaged 4 hours a night since at least 2005--before Dx in 2006. DH has always kept an odd schedule. Even when I did go to bed, it was with a hand-off prayer, placing him in God's hands until I got up. Now, 2 months into Placement my sleep is only slightly improved. I think probably because of all the additional upheaval in my life. Some nights I do get 5-6 hours, most around 4-4.5, and a few 1-3.
I am working to establish a new routine to replace all that's now gone. I will not fret over this.Ittook years to developthis isue. It's going to take time to change it.
Ms.magic, your momma was right about sleeping when the baby sleeps! That's what I do because Lord knows, there is no schedule to be had. It took me 3 years to figure that out. And who said you can't teach an old dog new tricks??? I can roll over now! lol