It has been a while since I posted. My time has been consumed with getting all the paper work completed for Medicaid. What a process. I am now waiting for an opening at a nh where my DH is on a wait list. Needless to say I am a bit anxious, the anticipation is overwhelming, but it is time. I keep praying please Lord soon. I don't know how much longer I can do this. I was told it could be 8 to 12 months before something opens up. So many mixed emotions.
I hve been where you are. It is an anxious, consuming process. You do all you can and mentally you are sort of ready--as much as you can be---and you wait.
We had a rough time when it finally happened, but we are doing pretty well now. Hang on and don't let the waitiung get you down.
Rosiek, I too have been where you are now.. my heart goes out to you. The emotional rollercoaster is staggering isn't it!? They told me the same thing about it taking up to a year or longer, so you can imagine my shock when I was told they had an opening after submitting our paperwork! I hope it doesn't take that long for you Rosie, once we make this tough choice, it is usually already well past the time we should have placed them. Is he on other nursing home lists, or only this one? I will pray for you to find the strength you need until he placed, and then also for you both to have as smooth as a transition as possible ((hugs))
Nikki, I have placed him on two lists, however the one I am praying for is just minutes from our home. This would be the best possible place because he would still be in the community and friends could easily visit. They also just hired a fulltime music therapist and sine my husband is a musician it would be a perfect fit. He has been going to the assessment clinic sine the onset in 2004 ans is very comfortable going to see his neuro there. He also did a 3 day respite over Christmas and did great. Please pray god will open this door soon. I don't know how much longer I can go on like this! Thanks for your hugs. Carosi, thanks for your encouragement!
Rosie, I pray you will get a call soon from the place you prefer. I will be taking my husband in the next few days to an ALF. He is agreeable but I wonder how he will do while he is there. It has just been the two of us for many years and more so since Alz. showed up. I know exactly what you mean about how much longer you can go on. I have felt the same way and thought about the money angle. I decided it would be better for both of us, money wasn't going to help me if I was in a padded cell! Good luck and God Bless.
Rosie, I too will pray that an opening comes soon for your preferred choice. Music therapy is amazing! I see people who seem in a vegetative state come "alive" at the live music shows. It is like a seen from the movie "Awakenings". It just never ceases to amaze me watching as the room comes alive with sound and movement.
Having him so close will also be a blessing. Lynn is only 20 mins away and it brings me a great deal of comfort knowing I can see him as much as I want to.
Keeping you both in my thoughts ((Rosie)) and ((Jean))
Thanks Nikki. DH will be about 13 miles away so it won't be a problem getting there, at least until the vacationers arrive and then there will be TRAFFIC!
Jean21, I pray that the transition will be a smooth one for both you and your DH. NONE of this is easy, none of it! And a padded cell sounds pretty good to me right now!
I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep us posted on how things went.
As I await the opening for my DH in a nh, his neuro dr. (who is amazing herself) made arrangements for the facilities O.T. to make a home visit and do an evaluation, not only for DH, but ways to keep him safe in our home. He has been AMAZING! He has installed handrails, a gate at the top of the steps, chimes on the front door, locks on the basement door, and locks on medicine cabinets. He also has brought over many activities showing me how to break things down into tiny steps, things I never would have thought of. He recommended a stationary exercise bike to try when DH gets ramped up. DH is now screwing nuts and bolts together, watering coloring in childrens coloring books (all with prompts). We also play with big bouncing balls outside. All these things I NEVER thought DH would be interesting but he really enjoys. The biggest improvement, DH was urinating in bathroom sink all the time. We hung a shower curtain in front of the sink and he is now using the toilet again. This O.T. Is a blessing from heaven!
Fantastic Rosie! Great idea about covering the sink with a shower curtain, glad it worked for your DH. One of Lynn's favorite summer activity is tossing a beach ball back and forth. He can't catch it now, but he takes great effort to hit it back to me. He gets the biggest smile on his face, is priceless.
i remember back years ago, when mary*(red) and i would find things that would entertain our husbands, and it was thought by many to have been all so childish and degrading for a grown man to be entertained by such infantile things. years later, and these same things, stuffed toys, childrens puzzles, and coloring books, huge colored balls, and infants toys seem to delight them. its still very sad to acknowlege the declining to these levels but a smile is a smile no matter how we acheive it. if anything the spinning toothbrush and light up toys have entertained my DH thru several stages even now in late stage 7. lately its been a group of colorful helium balloons over his head n the hospital bed. he pulls on them all the time. it is what it is rosie thats a really good idea about the shower curtain. it may work elsewhere.
Emily, I also couldn't find anything appealing to Paul other than he would sometimes hit a beach ball back and forth after the PT tried it. He would not touch the toothbrush, nuts and bolts or even a adjustable wrench and my dh was also previously in the hardware business.
You can add me to the list of people who has used children’s "toys" for years and have taken slack for it. I have heard it all. I have been told it was too childish for him, demeaning, that I was being disrespectful to the man he use to be. Excuse me!! this is one of my huge pet peeves! If he can do ANYTHING I think it should be encouraged.
The first time I was told I was treating him like a child was when I bought him a toddlers foam puzzle of tools. He LOVED that puzzle and I am grateful for the hours of happiness it brought him. I recently took slack because I bought Lynn a deck of first word flashcards. He can read every single one of them. To me that is simply amazing!! But "seagulls" have to throw their two cents in about how sad it is that he has been "reduced" to reading children’s flashcards and how demeaning it is.
I just not see it that way. Yes it is sad that Alzheimer's has "reduced" his abilities. But it is not demeaning nor degrading to try to bring them joy with "toys aimed at their skill level. The real tragedy would be to let them sit idle with no stimulation.
Emily, with Lynn I tried things that I knew he use to connect to, like tools. When I ordered the puzzle I had a lot of apprehension, would HE think it childish was my only concern. He didn't and in fact loved it! Can you draw from things that use to bring Jeff happiness and try to find things based on that, that might appeal to him?