Seems like there's been a wave of us experiencing unanticipated turns for the worse since 2012 hit. Seemed like we had a wave of passings in late 2011. Maybe, just because of the type of group we are, it could feel like there's a wave hitting at any given moment. Maybe I'm just sensitized to it this time since I'm in one of those waves, whereas I've always sort of stood on the shore and watched others of you get tumbled before.
Maybe the Mayans picked 2012 because they detected so much dicey weather in AD World that they just figured the world would end. It was an understandable mistake.
Me too Jean. Actually, it was a sense, starting about a year ago, that I'd better "make hay while the sun shines." As such, I took him on a couple of trips, including 4 days in Florida for my 50th b-day, in December. I sort of thought at the time...this is the end of trips. And it was. February hit like a sledgehammer.
I agree with all of you. It seems to me that the "wave" maybe due to the vast number of us who found this wonderful site at about the same time and our spouses were dx between 2005 and 2007. That means that they probably are in late stage 5 and/or early stage six...some even in late stage 6 and we are just waiting for the other shoe to drop. I have felt this way for the past six months. Things have been on a low down turn and I just know this can't continue much longer. My dh seems to be in that late stage 5 and just tipping slightly into six. He does all the things most of us can handle with a few bad bumps along this road.
I think it has a lot to do with you being one of the people being tumbled this time Emily.
I joined here in 2008 and he is now late stage. We must all remember different members because we could relate to them. As for me, the majority of the people I remember when I joined in 2008, have now lost their spouse.
Divvi and I even back then said we felt kindred spirits because our husbands were so close in stages. Four years later that is still true.
Emily, you have been in my thoughts often.... hoping tomorrow goes as smoothly as possible. ((hugs))
emily that wave is a good analogy too. undertows with heavy currents. drags us to the bottom at times and then spits us out to catch our breath. as nikki says we have husbands who have sort of parallelled their journey for years now. and i see so many of you BEHIND me, losing spouses and having great declines very quickly. it makes me nervous without a doubt as we are still holding in stage7 . but nikki i do beleive your lynn is a bit behind my DH at this point. maybe 7c or b? mine is solid 7d. contractures and inabilty to walk without 2 persons holding him. but still smiley which keeps hiim out of stage 7e-. mine cant read a lick at this point but he likes to look at magazines. he kisses the pictures of the girls. awww. how can you fault that? it does give me pleasure to see him smile. but i have to realize his quality of life is non existent. cant eat , walk ,incontinent, does seem to recognize me but not as his wife. its such a heart wrenching feeling to know hes stays here because he is receiving good care and love. but in my heart i know he would not be happy i have kept him alive all these years. it weighs heavily on my heart. when they have been pretty healthy other than AD it can lead to years of caregiving either at home or a facility i wont say quality of life but a living life as we know it. we have to ride that wave and bring out those dingies to stay afloat.
Things are getting worse here, too, over the last few weeks. After that great conversation we had a few weeks ago, now he has trouble verbalizing, finding the right words, etc. Forgot our dog for a week. Now, tonight, after in bed he asked me how long we were staying at this place and did I know what the rules were. So sad. I see a steep decline coming on. Just hope I can stay afloat!
((Divvi)) Yes dear friend, your DH is further along than Lynn now. But I do believe that is due to the results of the Marinol. Hard not to believe that when he was so lost before, trapped in that blank stare and unable to communicate with me at all.
I think it depends on how one would define quality. I do see quality of life. I guess I look upon this as I did my brothers daughter who was born very premature. They told him she wasn't viable. He needless to say, let them know that to him, she was everything. She does have complication as a young teen now. But, she has quality of life and she is the happiest little girl I have ever met!
It is hard because of course I want "My Lynn" back... but there are many young "healthy" people who can't walk, are deaf, can't talk, have no legs, etc etc the nightmare of possibilities is endless... but who is to say they are not worthy, not viable, or have no quality of life?
Of course I say this secure in the comfort that Lynn CAN still do many things that your DH and others can't. When he was trapped in that vegetative state, you can bet your sweet patootie I was having different thoughts.... hard not to. And I understand and respect that.
The thing I think is kind of unusual about my dh is the fact that he hasn't gone down hill faster. He not only has AD, he has a bad heart and COPD...has had blood clots in both lungs. Also, his speech is so bad most of the time he can't complete a sentence and he certainly can't carry on a conversation. This seems so strange to me that he can't do all these things and is still mobile and can still feed himself, take his own shower. He can't follow TV, any directions on how to do anything and can't tell time and I doubt that he can read or understand anything if he actually can read. He certainly can't follow TV.
I just know there is a real storm gathering for him and it keeps me on my toes all the time. I really think I could live with him like he is now for a long time....of course, on the real bad days I maybe have different thoughts. I have gotten alot better at caregiving since I now have every Wed. morning off to do what I want to do....this made a huge difference.
could very well be. i know osteoporosis is becoming a real issues among women again due to not enough vit d intake. a deficiency can be instrumental is all sorts of complex issues. if you get blood tests have them check it. with all the issues of recounting over the years the danger of sun exposure, many of us dont get out in the sun anymore. sunscreen or not.
DH was deficient in Vit. D and is now on 2,000 mg. per day. I saw a big difference when he got his level up. My doctor said 15 min. of sun each day would be enough for me and so far it has worked. I walk the dog at least 3 times per day about 10-15 each, so I guess I get plenty - when the sun is shining!