My lo is out of control. She went from just pacing and talking to serious jumble speech, touching and moving things and hurting things in the house within a few days. Friday night she bent back a care helper's thumb and kicked her because she was trying to prevent her from lifting and hurting the TV. Last night, I gave her her 25 mg. Seroquel in the late evening and we went for a walk. She slept until 1:00 in the morning and then was awake pacing and repeating. I gave her another 25 mg. Seroquel. She finally fell asleep at 3:00 a.m. and woke up wet 3 hours later. Then I had to fight her to get her pajamas off (death grip) and she was pushing me. She refused to sit or lift her feet so I could remove her socks. She had water from the shower all over me, the floor and was yelling her usual, I'm cold, don't touch me. I did finally get her clean and dressed. Now, she has been up all day. She has been non stop verbal/pacing/hurting our furnishings, bumping into the tv/pulling the shades/pushing the coffee table. I gave her the 25 mg. Seroquel (1/12 pills) around 10:00 - NOTHING. Took her to the park to walk and she was a danger to me in the car, touching things and talking repeatedly. Then I couldn't get her back in the car. Again she was pushing me. She has no muscle tone anymore but she was strong. Came home and at 4:00 gave her two .5 mg. Ativan because the one pill wasn't working all week. She's still going strong and hasn't crashed yet. I haven't had a chance to work with the medication yet and I can't handle this. I have her gated in a room so I can write for your suggestions and she's at the door calling out names. She's also called me Momma, Grandma and Pop yesterday and today which has not happened before. I can't get her to use the bathroom because she refuses to sit. How can she continue to pace without crashing yet? I don't even know who to call tomorrow morning. The Neurologist prescribed the Seroquel and the GP prescribed the Ativan. Can I admit her to a hospital so they can figure out her medication? I obviously can't send her to Daycare. And, to think they didn't want her because of pacing and verbalizing. They wouldn't believe this. And, no she doesn't have a UTI...checked it out first thing.
OH man what to do??? I am so sorry Diatron you need some help!! I know some advice will be along here quick, just wanted to drop a note to let you know I care.
Diatron-It sounds like she is a danger to herself and/or others in this state. The meds at current levels are not working. If it were me, I'd have her transported to the ER for medication evaluation. Don't try to transport her yourself,alone. Take her med list with you. The state she's in is no good for anyone. Sorry.
it may be necessary to take her to ER and let them know how much meds shes had and nothing works. she may could be interned for medical evaluation and drug overall. i agree with the others if you and she are getting no rest and you cant take her to daycare like this then there may be no other alternatives. i am sorry to hear she has been such a handful but yes they can get this way and oooooh so very strong! if you get no relief with the ativan, take her to the ER and let them handle her. i dont know what else you can do. you will wear yourself out and then no good for anyone. i would also let her neurologist know tomorrow if you take her in to ER and have him meet you there and tell them of the aggressive behaviors first thing. tell them you fear for her and your safety. take care and let us know how its going. divvi
I am so sorry; wish I could help, but have no experience at the level your wife is at. I agree it would seem she needs evaluation, but you shouldn't transport her by yourself to ER. You need rest, too.
See if the neuro or GP has someone on duty this weekend and call them; they may want you to call an ambulance tonight. Ask that they make a phone call in advance of transport to ER, explaining that your wife has dementia, etc. Be prepared that the EMS people may want to give her a shot to calm her down in order to get her cooperation.
Since she is sound asleep now I'm going to take a chance that we can get through most of the night. It will be so much easier in the morning. I do think your advice is correct about getting her to the hospital. Her doctors are both an hour and 1/2 away so they don't have privileges at the hospital I would take her to now. I was in the process of switching control of her medications from JH neurologist to her GP. I think if we survive the night, I will call JH first, her neurologist since he was referring us to the "psych" dept. at JH but after their initial contact, they have not returned my calls. Then, if that doesn't work, I will call her GP whose adivce I trust the most. I will take his advice as to the hospital to go to if that is possible. I'm just hoping she stays asleep so I can deal with this when I'm a little more rested and I can get someone to go with us in the a.m. Her family has mostly deserted us so I have to rely on friends. I believe her family thinks it's contagious!
It is so hard to see them in such a state. My Lynn was very strong, he could do a lot of damage to the house and me. Looking back with a clearer mind, I should have brought him to the ER many times. But, in my defense I had heard so many horror stories about the psyche ward, that I wanted to avoid it at all costs. So, I stuck it out at home and did his med adjustments by trial and error, with the doctors on call. Again, in hindsight, I wish I had just taken him to the hospital. It would have been the kindest thing for him, and I wouldn't have all these memories I do not want.
Having you both so upset isn't good for either of you. I imagine it must be frightening for our loved ones. I use to try to describe this to Lynn's family, and the best I could come up with was. it was like he was uncomfortable in his own skin. He was agitated, frightened and confused, just so so heartbreaking. I hope you are able to get her admitted. You know she will be safe and you can advocate for her much better if you are able to get some rest.
Just my two cents, if you trust your GP the most, that is who would get the first call if it were me. If JH isn't even returning your calls, they are not the ones I would be trusting to care for my spouse. I hope you do have a peaceful night and that everything goes smoothly tomorrow. So hard...... ((hugs))
It's been so peaceful for a few hours and I've gotten a lot done. Now I need to get some sleep. MarilyninMD - I spoke to the doctor on call and was told to give her a larger dose of Ativan if she didn't stay asleep and then see how she was in the morning. Her GP seems to be away for the week so I will give the Neurologist a call in the morning if needed, but Nikki I do feel that I haven't given the medications a chance and I want to try to adjust them myself. I will try to remember your advice from hindsight but it is hard, very hard.
Diatron, without a doubt it is exceedingly hard. I do understand the want to keep them home through the medicine adjustment. If it is safe for her, and you, I see nothing wrong with trying for a couple of days. With Lynn I was not talking one or two bad days, I am talking years of living with these behaviors. I was younger then and I did naively believe and trust doctors. Lynn's VA doctor would not give me seroquel and told me "it is just part of the disease, learn to deal with it" There is no way in hell I would ever let someone talk to me like that now, and now I demand-not ask. I have changed a lot with this disease as well. *wink*
The key here Diatron is, is she safe? Are you safe? If the behaviors become such that you feel "she is a danger to herself or others", the best thing to do is to get her the medical help she needs. Perhaps it will be easier if you look upon it as helping her. It can't be much fun, not to mention healthy for her to be in such a state for too long. Poor dear... I feel for you both *sigh*
I cannot even begin to imagine going through what you're going through, Diatron. Could I manage my husband at home if he was in that state? Not a chance. He would be too strong for me to handle.
Diatron--If you get to read this before you take your wife in: if the neuro suggests you take her to JH Bayview Lakeside Unit--we had a good experience there. My husband was there twice, and the second time, he emerged a different patient. This was last August and results have lasted. There is another psych unit in Johns Hopkins main campus (downtown) and I have heard stories about bad experiences for dementia patients. That one is a mixed population--not dementia only--and the staff rotates. The one at Bayview (Lakeside) is dementia only and all they do is medication adjustments. Good luck!
aww mothert. i think nikki will agree its not that we make that much 'sense' its just we have been at this longer than alot of you here and had some hairraising behaviors along the way and we had to deal. when you are where we are, (and i am not sure you want to be but will add it to the mix) then you will make just as much 'sense' as you may think we do. you will have experience to back you up..each and everyone of us has some wisdom to share here- but yes thankyou for that sweet reply.!
There may be something I missed but one thing I would add, in addition to the necessity for the ER and eval, is that when she gets combative, such as just getting her out of her jammies, unless she has made a mess in them, let that battle go..My mom now and then would get slappy when the aids needed to change her and that couldn't wait, but if it is a matter of just getting her dressed and she doesn't want to and if there is no appointment she has to be at, let that go. We do have to learn to pick our battles and if we continue with something that doesn't matter things just escalate. Your situation sounds very serious with lots of frustration and anger coming from your LO...and she isn't herself and can't tell you what bothers her. My mom too used to get into things move them around and chipped all the crystal stemware..we had to keep an eye on her all the time. My DH is more easy going and so far, apart from forgetfulness and confusion he doesn't give me a hard time. He is sweetness itself....so I hope I am not talking out of my hat here...just offering a suggestion to be mindful of the battles you and all of us face and pick the important ones to fight....don't die on every hill...
I agree, Mimi. Not everything is worthy of a battle. My hb was stubborn, self-willed, etc. even before vascular dementia. While in the throes? Ugh. Many, many times I just shrugged my shoulders and walked away. Sleep in his clothes, no problem. Put my cothes on, go ahead (so long as we weren't going out). Wearing 3 shirts? Sure I hear it's the latest style. Refuse to eat? Okie dokie sometime you'll want to nibble on something--even if it's junk food. As with children, sometimes you pick your battles. Life is easier then.
MarylininMD - My lo is now in the Lakeside Unit at Bayview. I was on the phone all morning and emailed 3 different departments that they were not explaining things to me nor were they helping me understand what we need to do. Finally, everyone was wonderful. I got full explanations of the different departments from each of them and they got a bed for her at Lakeside. I waited until the home health care worker came and she sat in the back with her for the ride. The ride was torture for all of us. I bought lots of food, her soda and some "toys" but she was restless and wanted out of that car badly. But, we finally got there.
It was really hard to leave her. She was wandering around going in and out of everywhere and touching everyone's things and acting like she didn't understand anything. But, when I went to leave she held on to me and had difficulty separating. They did divert her attention. I almost don't know what to do in this quiet peaceful house. How long was your husband there each time? I'm thinking I shouldn't visit tomorrow to give her a chance to adjust. What is your opinion on visitation?
Mimi, Zibby and Nikki you are so right about picking your battles. I couldn't care less if she sleeps in her clothes most nights as long as I can do a quick clean up on needed parts of the body when necessary. I also had no problem bathing her until recently if I participated in the bathing with her. The real combativeness came when she was soaking wet at 6:00 a.m (in the clothes she fell asleep in) and wouldn't let me get her out of the wet clothes and cleaned up. I don't handle frustration much better than she does.
I have the house baby proofed with locks on doors, monitors, alarms and I've removed important things from her reach. Anyone have a good suggestion for urine on the carpeting? I used Resolve, then I used vinegar and finally sprinkled carpet deodorizer but I still smell urine.
Diatron, I think it has been suggested on this site to use what they use for dog urine. I'm sure someone who has experience with it will be along soon. Good luck and I really hope your wife settels in.
I used Woolite carpet & upholstery cleaner. Pet stain & odor remover + oxygen it says on label. Bought at Wal-mart or grocery. Dollar General might have it. A woman in my support group highly recommended it. It worked great for human "stuff" as well as our dog's mess; so I highly recommend it, too.
I am sorry for the hard day you both had, and sorry too that you are hurting. It is so hard to leave them..... From what Marilyn said Lakeside sounds like it is a wonder hospital that specializes in Alzheimer's. I am glad you had such a wonderful place to take her and I am hoping she gets the treatment she needs to help soothe her. And you...
A lot of places recommend that we not go in for awhile, I was not able to stay away. As with most things related to AD, this too is a personal choice. You know your wife best, do you think she might do better with or without you there? And sometimes, as hard as it is for us to do, we must now and again do what is best for us. ((hugs of understanding))
Diatron - hope you get some sleep tonight cause you need it.
The pet odor formula has enzymes that 'eat' the ammonia from the urine. The carpet cleaner for pet stain and odor probable has enzymes in it too. It needs to soak down into the pad cause that is probably where the odor is coming from, if the flooring underneath is wood, it can soak in there too.
Dear Diatron. My Dw has behaved very similarly. You describe my LO's behavior so familiarly . I feel so awful to just stand by and watch, unable to do anything to stop it. At times like this I have found it all too easy to use a tone of voice that I find only makes it worse and I deeply regret when it gets the better of me. I can't figure out what precipitates these episodes. It's beyond us sometimes and at those times we need help from a sympathetic medical practitioner.
Diatron--I'm so glad she's at Lakeside! Steve was there for 2 weeks the first time, 5 weeks the second time. After she's there a little bit, they should be able to give you an estimate on her length of stay--however, that can change as meds are adjusted.
I live 40 minutes away, so I visited every other day. If you want to catch the doctor and speak to him/her, be there early (about 9 a.m.). There's always a NP on duty and also a charge nurse, who are good sources of information on what's going on at any time of day. I generally went to visit in the afternoon and took Steve to the activity they had going on (they have some great recreational therapists who conduct Bingo and other games.) On Saturdays, there was a musician who visited and I always tried to be there to make sure Steve attended the performance.
Since the focus is on med adjustment, the personal care isn't the greatest. I would always help him brush his teeth, shave, and checked his body over. Steve is a pacer and developed blisters under toenails from constant walking on concrete floors. It wasn't noticed by the staff--I took him to a podiatrist after he was released. This is why I recommend checking her whole body every time you go and calling any issues to the staff's attention so they can address them. The more communication you have with the doctors and other staff, the better off you and your wife will be. There are also social workers who will come into the picture when it's time to release your wife.
As far as the wandering in and out of rooms, all the patients do that--you notice the doors are kept open. One day, I went into Steve's room and found a little old lady lying in his bed! Then I understood why I had found a hair curler on his nightstand the day before!
I never told him I was leaving or going home after a visit--I just said "Honey, I'm going to the bathroom" and would disappear. His neuro told me NOT to come the first weekend (I took him in on a Thurs or Fri), so I didn't visit until Monday. It was great having that break.
Thank you MarilyninMD. I was feeling guilty about not going the first day but you made me feel better about it. It was wonderful having time to myself and getting a good night's sleep.
My experience was similar to Marilyn's. The first day..admitting..was the toughest for all but the staff knows how to redirect their focus. I went the second and third day just to help the staff and help w/the adjustment. They may also ask you not to take the lo out of the facility for 4-6 weeks. They will let you know then if the lo can leave and return w/o having to readjust to the ALF all over again.
Diatron: Same things happened with my DH. Yes, they hold onto clothes for dear life! Their legs are like steel girders--won't bend, won't move, won't sit. Finally had to place DH, he raged at me, threatened to kill me. Shortly after he was placed, he went completely berserk. throwing things, twisting arms, biting people. Police took him away in handcuffs to a lock-down hospital. It was taken out of my hands, they had the legal authority to hold him and they did, for two weeks, but adjusted his meds so he calmed down. I was able to visit, but each facility & case is different, best to do what the staff says. We can only do so much on our own, thankfully, she's in a safe place now. I know how you feel--it's heartbreaking hell and then some. Don't feel guilty. You didn't cause any of this, you did everything that you could, remember that your life and well-being are just as important as hers. It may take longer than the 2 weeks but odds are they will get her under control. I wish you well and send you strength.
Diatron--yes, use some of this time to take care of yourself. That's why I didn't go every day--his doctor (who was in charge of the unit at the time) said that I should use it as a respite, that I needed and deserved it. He was right.
Diatron, I am glad she's in a good place to adjust her meds so lfe is better for both of you. When I experienced the need for DH to be placed in a psych hospital for med adjustment, I was advised NOT to visit for the first 3-4 days. Due to circumsatnces beyond my control (he was involuntarily placed due to physical aggression towrds me) I didn't even know what facility he was in and by the time I found him 3 days had already passed. I got the same advice when they transferred him from the psych hospital to the memory care unit of the ALF I had chosen as a trial. It is very stressful not seeing them when you have been the sole 24/7 caregiver but as Marilyn wisely advises, take this "respite" time for yourself. No matter what the outcome you do and will need some time build up your strength for the next chapter.
As an aside, I am thinking of admitting my husband to that unit based on Marilyn's and Steve's experiences and now yours if and when he needs it. Good facilities for med adjustments where we live (rural northwest NJ-no, it's not an oxymoron) don't exist.
My lo went into the Unit at JH Bayview like a bull in a China Shop, going from place to place and room to room and up and down. She doesn't seem to have a sense of herself in space and bumps into things. When I got home the house felt very quiet and alone. It was a little sad and uncomfortable. Tuesday morning I woke up feeling great...alone, peaceful, things in order, calm. It felt great!!!! Even the dog was acting happier, she wasn't hiding under the bed. The Psych called me to tell me they were going to try Zyprexa. The Social Worker called to tell me that she is very "impaired" and they are worried about how she bumps into things. Today I went to visit and it was sad. She was with a "sitter" and strapped into a Gerry (sp?) chair and sleeping. She woke up and was communicating with real words and phrases that made sense (in addition to her usual phrases). She was struggling to get out and I asked if we could walk her around. She was very weak (drugged) and had to be held carefully as we walked. She used the bathroom herself (wouldn't let me help take her pants down) but used the toilet with the sitter and I both there. Her head was bent over (like with the Risperidol) and I have a feeling that is going to be a problem. I'm trying not to worry about it. I think the Drs. will see the side effects and they will make a decision about this medication. I was told that a nurse went to help her do something and she slapped the nurse but apologized immediately afterwords. When I went to leave I just said I have to use the bathroom, I'll see you soon (thanks Marilyn) and she said "Be careful". I was concerned but stayed busy the rest of the day. I don't think I will go as often as I had planned. I need the break and I need to let them do their job. I also don't think they're going to solve the problem quickly, I think it will take the 2 -3 weeks that they said is the average time.
D....You have done the best you can and now the professionals will take over. I know this is a two edged sword wanting to see how she is doing and needing to give the staff time to help her improve or at least be stable. You sound like you have full knowledge about how you need this time for rest and to prepare for the outcome. We here will be thinking about you and your lo....keep us posted....and take care of yourself. (Hugs).
LFL - I had the same experience, I just knew he'd been taken by the police, but didn't know where. However, much to everyone's credit, people kept calling me to tell me what was going on and if & when he was moved, finally to the lock-down. I was told back at the police station he was just having a grand old time with the police, chatting away and absolutely NO memory of what he had done.
Diatron - sometimes DH did not seem to know where to stand in space, but he didn't bump into things. He did, however, get into bed with other people and that caused quite a stir, including one woman who accused him of trying to rape her; and a man who told him to get out of his bed and when he wouldn't get out, the man lifted the mattress and tumbled him out. I won't go into some of the other brutal details right now that shattered my heart, will always be painful, but sometimes when I write about things like his getting into different beds, it's almost sounds amusing. Take care of yourself now.
When we were walking in the hallway, a male patient was hanging up a sign that said STOP. I was impressed. It had velcro and attached from one side of the door to the other and the sign was BIG. I asked him why he was doing that and he said so she won't come in my room and get in my bed. I thought it was pretty funny because she probably doesn't know which room is hers but she also wouldn't stay in any bed for long.
The inter-patient behavior worries me a little... Jeff's first ALF day was yesterday, and there was an older gentleman tottering around. Jeff wanted to ask him his name. But Jeff has a way of personal-space invasive/hovery when he is trying to interact with someone (even though trying to interact is relatively rare these days,) but still, I think he got closer than the man was comfortable with. I could hear the other man mumble something like "oh lord have mercy..." but I'm sure Jeff did not comprehend it.
I think there are others, ladies in particular, who will be happy to interact with him, so I hope it goes ok.
I like the big STOP sign. I bet that more or less works.
the interpatient relationship would worry me as well if in a psyche unit. after all they are put there for eradic aggressive behavior. i would have no idea how authority would handle an 'accusation' of sexual nature or getting into strange beds if someone complained and with the delusional outbursts etc who knows what could happen. i would hop the staff has CONSTANT vigil over their wards. how can one know whats truth or not when dealing with these poor impaired souls?
The memory unit where my lo is located has this happen on occasion. Harmless, I believe. Just part of the wandering they do. There is a memory box outside each room as well as their name on the door but they don't always recognize them or always believe they are their things. My lo was a nurse for 38 years, lastly in a physician office, and often still acts out her duties w/the other residents thinking they are her patients...assisting them when she sees a need. The staff supports this to a limited degree and w/supervision. Once a nurse, always a nurse as they say.
Hb was accused of going into a woman's room at night by a roommate, but staff believes it was a staff member checking on the woman which they did at same time every night. However, the accuser told her family and they fussed about it so my hb was given resperdone for awhile--until I said stop because he couldn't hold his head up, sat and drooled and obviously couldn't eat in that condition. Now he's eating, walking his shuffle and participating more in activities if they don't involve listening to someone talk too long. (One resident told the woman reading and asking questions: You talk too much. I agreed to myself.) As he's adjusted, he doesn't go into other people's rooms, but I do notice others wander in and out. One facility I visited had memory boxes by doors which is nice. I put a picture of my hb by his door. One other man has his pic by his door otherwise no pictures by doors. Names are small and I doubt if any resident can read them. Wandering, I think, is common and staff has to work with it.
Diatron--the only time they had a sitter with Steve was when he was first put on Zyprexa, it was too high a dose, and he fell. He was only bruised, but they waited till morning and called me (they have to call you if there's a fall, regardless of whether the patient is injured). Then they lowered the dose and the falls ceased. There was only one other fall during the 5 week stay and it was because a large scale was left in the hallway, he didn't see it, and tripped. Yet, they left the scale in the hallway. I had to keep reminding them to move it for the duration of his stay.
Did you ask why she's in a geri chair with a sitter? I suppose it is for her safety.
The Zyprexa caused a rare side effect in Steve called torticollis or dystonia. His head and upper body was leaning towards one side. Shock the doc and ask if that's what you're seeing in your wife. If so, there are other drugs that can be given to offset it. When the Zyprexa was toned down, Steve was put on Amantadine (a Parkinson's med that helps AD patients too) and Cogentin to address the torticollis. Both helped.
If you're going to pick certain days to visit, I'd make sure to include weekends. Like all facilities, there is less staff and it would be good for you to check in.
Re interaction between patients: It is what it is--any dementia-specific facility is going to contain people with difficult behaviors and it's up to the staff to keep tabs on everyone and break up any altercations asap.
During the 7 weeks when I went to the psych unit every other day I did see some "close calls". The staff knew which patients were apt to act out and were proactive as soon as they realized something was up. They knew how to distract based on the patient's preferences (one woman would eat anything offered at any time and they always offered her ice cream). She was hell on wheels; fortunately, she liked Steve! But as Divvi said, it was a worry.
The gentleman didn't mean it in a sexual way which is why it was humorous to me. He meant it in a "she is annoying" way. When she was first there, she was going in and out of everyplace, climbing on things (including people's beds) and touching people's "things". I could understand why the man said that. He probably is protective of his "things" and room and didn't like her visiting. Of course she wasn't doing that yesterday, she couldn't even walk by herself much less go in anyone's room. She's in a geri (thanks for the spelling) chair so they can keep her from hurting herself until they get the medication to help her from bumping into objects, stumbling around and possibly having a serious injury. I will keep checking to make sure the "sitter" walks her around safely and doesn't keep her in that chair all the time. But, it was clearly for her safety. I love to use those technical words. The phrases that are made up and that they keep repeating are called "neologisms". Marilyn, I'm sorry you had to go through that but glad you're here to share your experiences especially with the Zyprexz because the torticollis could be the same problem.
my DH also leans to but to the left. when he sits he leans and when he walks. it been going on some time. that said, some forms of dementia, like lewy body has what they call the Lewy Lean its so common in these folks,*(which i suspect my DH may have a combo of dementias_) and like marilyn said can be associated with a form of axial dystonia. an imbalance of neuro transmitters. its also called Pisa syndrome like leaning tower of pisa:) lewy body, parkinsons, picks, and AD can all exhibit this leaning syndrome. but there are also neuroleptic drugs we used to treat these dementias that can surely be a cause of balance and gait issues as well. its always good to ask the drs if it could be med induced. we took zyprexa for a while, it worked well to relieve the anxiety and over all aggitation. the only downside we encountered was it lead to a pre diabetes condition but dissapated after we discontinued the drug when no longer needed. good luck i hope they get her under control and back to a decent quality of life without all these issues.
Diatron, DH when in the psych hospital was ALWAYS found lying in some other patients (female) bed in the women's wing. They kept an eye on him and chased him out every time. When they moved him to the older adult unit, he had a sitter with him 24/7 due to his pacing and unpredictable behavior. To my knowledge he was never in a female's room on that ward.
He did however have a female resident in the ALF memory care unit come in and want to sleep with him in his bed. She was constantly in his room leaving things in his bed, under his pillow, etc. He would yell at her to get out but she kept coming back. Because Rich was so young (58) and all his male parts still worked well, I did notify the ALF Director that it was the female resident initiating these visits and I wanted it included in Rich's file that he did not initiate the visits and was even persistent in telling her to get out. I wanted to be proactive and make sure they knew what was happening and in case any of her family complained it was on the record. I did worry while he was in there because the aides just ignored it or quietly encouraged her to go to his room.
My husband went to a VA satellite medical location for an appointment that he didn't have just this Tuesday. He is not supposed to drive and while I was asleep he got the keys and drove about 25 miles to the VA Med Center. They immediately identified his altered mental status and of course showing up for an appointment that you don't have is key. That center called the sheriff's department and they transported him to another larger VA and admitted him to the Acute Psychiatric Unit. I was wild hunting for him for about 20 minutes when the Va called and said the police had delivered him to the unit. They said his meds were making him worse. I was able to visit yesterday and talk to the psychiatrist and social worker they said they would try and get his meds straightened out and maybe add Aricept(sp?). The first day, they called and asked if I was interested in him staying long term. I was so confused just trying to find him, I said that I would need more information on his condition before I could make such a life changing decision for DH.I spent yesterday at the unit and today I have been very very sick. I have Lupus, Cushing's, Secondary Adrenal insufficiency. As I left they told me he would be there about 7 days. He was convinced that ,he was coming home with me. Oh, that was so hard. But I have to go to the Dr. tomorrow because I now have shingles. The stress of taking care of DH, had made my diseases flare. they asked me a key question, are you well enough to continue to take care of him. of course I said yes, he is very precious to me and I love him. today I am so sick that I wonder if I am well enough to have him come back home, yet I cannot imagine standing there and telling my husband he's not coming home. I just don';t know, my health has gone so far down that I have been in the hospital twice in the last 60 days. My health care nurse has repeatedly told me that I can't keep this up as Bill is a handful. he gets so mean and says such hurtful things but I know it's the disease. I don't know when to visit next or when to call--according to his family I only make him worse and say all the wrong things. At least, just for today, I know he is safe and that I can make it to my Dr. appt tomorrow, since he is in the unit. I have read all of your posts and each one helped me.
cookiemarie. it would be a good idea to discuss this with your own dr. he knows your health issues and maybe he can help you come to decisions with regards to caring for your DH longterm. we can understand how very difficult this would be to place him but your health must come first to be able to care for him later. get yourself healed and then make these hard decisions without all the duress of your own sickness upon you. he will be well cared for while you get better. many here have had to place their spouses due to their own health risks. let us know how you are doing. divvi