Well, we have had respite this weekend for the first time. As much as I have been longing / needing a break, I haven't been able to sleep....all I've done is worry about Dh , how he is, is he safe, is he upset and looking for me, did she treat him well...did he get bored and try to escape... He is one on one with a carer, just them as that's all that was booked for this weekend.... left Friday afternoon, comes back today, Sunday afternoon. There he is with a stranger, in a strange place. Just seeing his face as he sat in the car waiting to leave broke my heart, looked so sad and bewildered. She assured me, she is well trained to handle anything, ...I'm sure he'll be Ok, just me... We'll see how DH is when he gets home...does it get easier to let go!
Hi Everyone. amazingly respite went really well. Dh went without a fight, looked very sad and bewildered, i felt very guilty, thinking what have i done to send him off like that. How I spent the this past weekend ...I worried alot, was anxious the whole weekend, couldn't sleep. ...expecting a phone call any minute, but as they, 'No news was good news'. DS came over, and helped me do stuff around the house that needed doing...i now know how to pressure clean the pavers! Dh came home yesterday afternoon, as happy as can be, they went shopping, out to Chinese dinner, even bought me a gift..a mug with this very appropriate say..."Keep calm and carry on"...I think the carer was thinking of me then! She said he was fine the whole time...there you go! He even asked the carer to pick him up again...she said it might be someone else next time...he said "no, he wanted her to come" he hugged her goodbye...few minutes later he couldn't remember a thing, where he went or did... He's now got a better social life than I have!!! Next time, I'll just have a good time and not worry..I'm still getting over how well it went..today Monday, he's off at day care, and I'm off out to coffee with a friend
Julia that is fantastic!! I am so happy it went so well for your DH! I had to chuckle when you said he had a better social life than you :D Now next time you will know he will be fine and you can really enjoy your YOU time!
Last fall myself and my 2 best buddies went away for a long weekend and dd came up to stay with dh. The other two women were calling their husbands to check in and I didn't - I just had a lovely time and knew that my dd would call if she needed me. I had a wonderful time and I was very depressed to go home. I'd like to go away for 2 weeks, but I just don't think dh would go for that at all. He's all for me taking a few days, but for me to leave the country, he'd not go for that at all (I'd like to go to Israel, I've always wanted to go to Israel and he never wanted to). Besides, if something happened, it would be very difficult to reach me and difficult for me to get home quickly. Guess I'll just have to wait.
I do worry about how he will react to being left in a facility or if I leave him with his caregiver (aka my housekeeper right now). But, it is encouraging to read about others who have gone and husbands have managed just fine without you and all your fears were for not. Maybe it will be like that for us, too, when I finally do go on a real vacation. I do dream about going away alone. I'm one who has always coveted my alone time and I married a man who was already retired and never went anywhere without me; and now there's now. Not really complaining, we've had a wonderful life and dh has taken very good care of me all these years. Guess I'm just ranblin on - better go to bed.
Julia--great news! BTW, I've seen a number of products lately that say "Keep Calm and Carry On" and I thought they would be great for AD spouses. I actually bought a set of salt and pepper shakers to have on hand in case someone in my support group needs a lift. I read that the saying was developed in WW II in England. How appropriate--we are in our own war with AD!
Thanks everyone...I'm so glad that first respit is over, now I'm looking forward to the next respite (very soon), where I know not to worry and enjoy it to the fullest, knowing Dh is good hands.
MarilynMD...funny you should mention about the saying coming from England....just above the words is a Crown, just like what an English king or queen would wear, I never gave it another thought, but your right...I guess that's where it came from. BTW, the mug was made in China...where else!