I was talking to a guy , as we were waiting for my wash to be done at the RV camp. I became aware that he may have AD. It seems now that I am ultra sensitive to people, He repeated himself several times and then I really became uncomfortable. I know that we have talked about how friends drop you once they know about the situation. I find myself all most in fear of someone now who has AD. Not because of I am afraid of getting it, it just hurts so bad to see it again.
I agree. For me, it is amplified when I visit my DW in the Memory Care facility. You are surrounded by residents, all in various stages and types of dementia. But, to see the dedicated staff, caring for each individual as an individual giving them the utmost respect and love, it does my heart good to know she is in the best place for her and how special these caregivers are for all they do each day.
A few thoughts: 1--There is no doubt that, having lived it, we become very sensitized to the signs and are probably much better at detecting it than average. 2--Bob, you're probably at a stage where you need some time to recover a little before you're ready to face it, and that may account for your reaction. 3--A flip side to this is that many people who have, through experience, gained the ability to spot AD are the sweetest ones I encounter in public. There is, eg, a particular worker at Zoe's Kitchen, a place we often go for lunch, who clearly gets it and is always solicitous. Many can tell instantly, despite Jeff's looking relatively "normal" at first glance to the average person.
It's seems that those of us who do place and don't place our spouses go through different journeys at the last stages that make our experiences materially different.
When they are with us all the way the caregiver is fully engrossed in the battle we all know so well which is dealing with all the things that comes with the deteriorating world which gets harder and harder all the way through and then finally the moment that was known all along comes, and with that all the things that have been pent up so long within ourselves in the aloneness of afterwards.
When we place them some of those powerful things come on the caregiver early even though that final reality has not occured. We are in the aloneness but it is not afterwards and those things that have been pent up for so long do come out. There is some way to go, but much of what those of us who's spouse has passed go through - we start to go through.
Except it has not happened and becomes more complicated because of that fact. We deal with the truth that we did place them at the same time that many of the reactions that would be happening if they had passed - are happening now. The fighting has suddenly stopped and we are suddenly alone.
And it is more complicated now and maybe less complicated later because we are involved with our spouses' later stages more at arms length while simultaneously faced with the life we will be faced with afterwards except it is in our face now.
I don't say it is better or worse, or harder or easier, but it is definitely different.
I am having an enormously hard time going to see her. She does not know me and it rips at my soul strongly to see the state she is in. In so cruel a way we are blind spotted by the human condition and by that always neglect the second patient in our care.
Who, because it is us, do not deserve the care or the attention the other does. Ce la vie.
Sitting on the fence. Those who caregive all the way to the end, are hit with the grief and alonnes at that time--The End. We who, for whatever reason, have placed our LO, face a good share of the grief and aloneness while our LOs are still here. We know no 2 LOs are the same; neither are our paths through the ending. However, there is also a truth to what Wolf said, that those of us who have placed our LO are in a limbo and there seems to be little understanding of our situation.
We are not widowed/widowered, nor are we a couple. For me this all came to a critical point less than 2months ago. Transitional plans which I believe would have eased us into this new limbo, went out the window when we had an event that had the Police taking DH to the hospital. After 2 weeks of changes and an added crisis, he was placed. (Jan. 31). Because our Home is in a Short Sale, I had to find an apartment and move. I signed the lease March 1 and have been in my 1 bedroom apartment 1 week tonight. My daughter and I dismantled our 2 bedroom, plus enclosed porch, full basement and garage into a storage unit (for her) and my apartment. A lot was given away or trashed. I gave up my 2 cats and kept only DH's. This was our home for 29 1/2 years.
I lived single and loved it for 3 years after college. This is not the same. DH is aware of me, the house for sale, and where he is. He asks about his cat. He is expecting the Dr.to release him when he's well enough. I just keep telling him we have to do what the Dr.says. He is being treated and monitored for CHF now as well as his Mental Illness and VaD. He is incontinent. He is where he has to be. I am struggling to adjust to a new place--I can't say home, yet. I am still unpacking boxes, and crying. I'm sitting on the fence. I'm grieving now and building a new life reluctantly. What's probably going to be true,is that while family and friends expect and push me to suck it up now (they do not get it) when DH does pass and I've already grieved, I won't fit the mold of the bereaved spouse either. I will have just about finished that before it happened. All I can do is get DH and I through the best I can.
Carosi...no telling you to "suck it up" here. We love you, we cry with you, we support you. I wish I could come and sit on the fence with you, and cry and scream , then fall off the fence , and laugh..
Bob, to me it makes perfect sense that it would be too painful for you right now to be around anyone, family or stranger, afflicted with AD. I too agree we are more tuned in and can tell when someone has dementia. I catch myself doing this all the time.
I agree with what you are saying Wolf and Carol, and I can understand and empathize with your feelings. Here is another case of we are all just as unique as our AD loved ones. I did grieve greatly when I placed Lynn. It was very different feeling alone while he was still here with me, and being just utterly alone when he was placed. I did mourn many losses at that time. The emptiness was vast.
However, I have no doubt I will grieve just as intensely, and probably even harder, once he passes away.
Wolf, it hurt me deeply to visit with Lynn the first year or so. It hurt if I stayed home as well. It was my firm belief that they are “still in there” and that he needed to hear my voice and feel my touch, that pushed me to go visit him daily. Over time, the pain lessened and I am now able to greatly enjoy my visits with him.
And oddly enough, where once the other lost souls there use to cause me great discomfort, now I find I go out of my way to try to bring them a little joy. Time changes us. Events change us. I guess it is up to us if that change is bad or good. I think the key in this whole wretched journey is to try to be gentle with ourselves as we try to come to terms with the inevitable. We each must simply do what is best for us and understand we are different.
i dont understand, at times my husband acts normal then, something will happen and it reminds me theres a problem like we went to the the movies and ever time he would go to the bathroom he try to go up the stairs in stead of down stairs even when we got ready to leave he try the same thing . i was even scare to let him go to the bathroom by himself cause i was afraid he would not remenber how to get back , so i actually got up to see about him , he was coming in the door ,but i asked him did he get losed but he said no . i wonder if he would really tell me . i feel more of a caregiver and a nurse and not a wife its like i love him cause he is my children father but its not the love i had when we got married , i can try to arouse him first in sex but nothing happens then the next day he does not remenber , me even taking my cloths off . i am not trying to be nasty now . its like i dont try to start anything cause with all his medical issues it only makes him feel bad . and he saids to me he knows that i am young and pretty and i have needs and he cant fulfill them , and he knows its bad on me . and i feel bad cause he is right , but he want even remenber our conversation later and i have had him to ask me later on if he was dreaming or did we have this conversation. i just dont know what to do or say to him . my husband was real upset about 8 months ago and he told our girls that we do not have sexually relationship anymore and when i got home late the girls asked me about it i told them the true and i also said that i love you daddy but its not the love i had when we got married cause i get lonly and miss that part of my life and i feel like i have a whole in heart and i am in this square box and i cant get out . and my life is gone and alot of times i will go to freds paking lot and cry , my husband can still stay by himself he just can at night cause he gets worse . and sometimes i wonder if he is okay by himself at times , but its like how will i know when he can . its like this he has to cath . his self every three hrs . but if i am not home he want remenber and i was told they will not pay for a nurse to go to house through out the day just to make sure he does, and he has blue sheild blue cross state insurance also medicare . but right now i am at home , but i will have to go back to work when i find ajob. i dont no what to do anymore i am just stuck , but atleast i have appointment with a physcitity i do not no how to spell this word so i hope you can figure it out, monday so maybe i can understand myself And how to handle this.
Hi Sarahlynn, sure sounds like you are overloaded right now. We have all been there, and we truly do understand. Without more information and based on what you have just said, I would guess your DH (dear husband) is in the earlier to mid stages. A memory clinic or a neurologist would be the best place to go to get an estimate on what stage your DH is.
The earlier stages are immensely emotional. You are trying to not only cope with their diagnoses, but you are also trying to come to terms with the fact that you are losing your spouse, and everything you were together. You are literally watching the person you married disappear before your very eyes. It is heartbreaking, and I can understand why you would be overwhelmed. I know I certainly was.
My best answer for why he acts “ok” sometimes, is the analogy they use that Alzheimer’s is like wire in the brain, when they connect, they seem ok, when the wires don’t connect, this is when their deficits are more obvious. And it constantly changes as the disease takes over different parts of their brain. It truly is such a cruel disease. For them, and for us.
Most of us can understand the sex aspect too. There are lots of threads here about that, and many other topics that I think could possibly help you. At the top of the page you will see 4 tabs, one of them is search. If you click on that, it will take you to another page where you can write in a topic you want to read about. For instance, just type … sex , Then you will see the previous topics.
It’s hard, keep writing, it truly does help to unload and share with people who understand. ((hugs))
Also, have you spoken to your doctor to ask if they would inquire about a visiting nurse to come to help your husbands with the catheters? I would think this is something would help with!
sarahlynn joan has a wealth of information to newcomers on the homepage at alzheimerspouse.com. scroll down on the left side you will see alot of stuff for new diangosis and where to start with info. i think the various stages of AD are listed as well in that info.
i think we all have a fear of being brought back to the worse times in our lives. i know i can almost pick out folks these days in public that have the 'look'. those of us who have been here know its easier to recognize.
yes i have ask the doctors nurse about having a nurse to come by the house just to make sure he cath. but she said he does not do that and this doctor is a nerologist how every you spell it.
i dont no if i just need to make appointment myself and talk to the doctor. ho! bye the way young man who i was talking about on my last comment , he talk to me and mike is a church person and he told me he had strong feelings for me ,but because he believe in the bible he feels guity and it was wrong cause of my wedding vows . but i still feel empty inside . i do love my husband and i wonder if i was using him to fill that longly place . what my husband cant do anymore. but i feel like maybe gods trying to show me a better way to fill it and maybe there is a reason i got termnated from my job maybe gods showing me something . see i will let you know the reason i got termnated from my job , new gentleman took over the federal contract and he try to get us to go to office to clean his building with federal moneys and on there time, see he is some kind doc. well i call the federal agency that is a over the contract bidding. but the admin. over the va clinic told me to be her eyes and ears to let her know if he does anything else and the federal agency knew about it. so i did what i was told to do. and the gentleman who had the contract also is renting the building to the federal also . well he did not like me reporting him so he got mad and termnated me so i learn a lesson reporting something you know is wrong means nothing i should of just let him do what ever , then i would still have a job. i was a housekeeper cleaning exam rms. and disinfect the building . i had ther 3 years and 1/2 there . back to mike still when i think about him i start to cry explain that to me? got a question how do you no when a person is decling does a person like myself just knows by instinct . cause my husband just lately just clings to me and if i go to another rm in 3 mins hes looking for me and very sinceinty to. and like tonight when i took him in bed and gave him a real kiss he just looks up at me with tears in is eyes and says you are so pretty and i know your going to be here and take care me right and could since fear or maybe scare or am i reading to much into this, its like i feel he knows he is declining , even when he talked to my daughter he saids i know i am losing ground but i am going to fight to the end , ihad been through a lot and bounce right back, its sad .i know my girls feel it to , my col . spring girl knows and faces reality that her dad is declining but is worry about me cause i cry alot and she said you know you cannot take dad to the mall and leave him along in a strange eviroment and you cannot take him anywhere like that and not no its not going to happen. and she saids you need to find a alzheimers group meeting and get in on it, will help you cause dad knows when your unhappy. so, am i a bad person to want to go off bowling or anything like that or somewhere atleast 2 days out of the week? she says you cant go off and stay gone for along time then you may not want to come home and start hating dad so what am i supposed to do , i know she means well cause she loves her dad and me. but i told her i get longly and its like taking care of a 15 or 18 year not my husband and she understood me i think. well i better go and get to bed . oh yes my daughter in tallas fl. saids she cant tell her dad s decline but her sister saids she in denial mom. well i wonder if she maybe right . i have really enjoy having yall just listening reading and getting back to me.
sarahlyn, I responded on your other post but will repeat my advice here. You can no longer leave your husband unsupervised at all-it is apparent he needs constant supervision for his safety. If you still want to go out 2 nights a week to go bowling go but make sure someone capable is with your husband during those times. Unfortunately he is now in the stages when it is dangerous for him to be alone unless you can find someone to care for him while you're out you will be the one legally and morally responsible for making sure he's adequately cared for. Yes, it is difficult and means the loss of freedoms you previously had but it is your reality now. All of the posters on this site have been where you are and had their "freedom" restricted due to the demands of caring for a spouse with declining abilities due to dementia. Your daughter has given you good advice-contact the Alzheimers association to find out what services might be available to you and your husband to help you through this journey. A support group may help you understand that you are not alone in this journey. I am only asking a question, not recommending anything here...do you still want to be married to him given all of your disappointments with your realtionship as it is now? Think about that....if you think you'd rather be divorced (some have made that decision for various reasons), then contact a family law a attorney and find out your rights and what it would take to get a divorce. Each of us has to do what's right for us as individuals.
Saralyn: The limited number of responses that you have had to your questions is not because of the lack of understanding your problem, it probably is because your problem is so complex it is difficult to repond. This morning when I read your post my heart broke for you and I still didn't know what I could say to help you.
It is difficult for any of us to tell or recommend what a person should or should not do especially when it involves the caregivers total life experience. Someone probably just needs to lay the Alz. problems you are facing on the line and you in turn must be the one to make the decisions for your future life.
It seems to me you have not faced the fact that our dh now has a condition which requires TOTAL and constant care by you or someone else. This you cannot escape. You have to face this head on and until you face that fact you will be emontionally drained of making other decisions. This is a terminal illness your dh has and it does nothing but get worse. I don't think I need to list all the things you CANNOT do now that you use to do. We all are in the same boat. The number one thing is leaving your dh home or any place else alone. He will be like your shadow from now on. You may need some professional help comming to grips with this problem. Looking at the same problem, I found comfort in the fact that my dh had little or no pain...like he might have with cancer. Is he the same man I marrried...NO....he is like my child....and I must care for him in all ways that I would a child that can't do many things for themselves.
PART 2:....Hope you can understand and come to grips with the new life you are facing. I believe once you actually face these facts you may understand better how your own personal life as you knew it doesn't fit into this medical problem you are now facting. Is that easy to accept? NO...in fact it maybe the most difficult fact you have ever had to face....Your personal life without your husband or Your personal life caring for your husband? Only you can make that choice. No one on here will stand in judgment of you and no one should...it is your life. Most of us are older and in someways that decision was not as difficult for us as it maybe for you.
You may want to consider what you would want your dh to do if the tables were turned and it was you with Alz. Or you may want to look at it from your daughter's position, what would you want them to do if they were faced with your problems. You also have financail considerations you may need to consider. Also, if you don't care for your husband who will? Your daughters? Is this what you would want for your daughters? This horrible condition creates so many problems for the family that need to be considered.
Would I and many others on here love to have a personal life (with or without a new romance/friendship)...I am guessing, but probably many would say they would. But, in life you don't always get to act on what YOU want...it is what you live with and what you can emotionally handle is usually the best road to follow. It seems to me, at least at this time, you have added to your life's burdens a new relationship that has failed and you are hurt once again and compounded your emotions and problems. You maybe need to ask yourself, was it, is it worth how you feel now? But, first, you need to come to grips with your dh's condition and decide how you are going to cope with that major problem....until you solve that problem....you will be hurt and spinning your wheels.
I hope you take this post in good faith and in the way it was intended which is to help you and bring your problems to a realistic evaluation. Please keep posting and I do think you may find this easier to handle with comments from others. I know it has been a life saver for me time and time again.
I think, that in our situations with our mates at home, a romantic relationship would hinder much. the risk of hurt feelings, and you know how it is- when you have romantic feelings towards someone else it takes over all, it is all you want to think about and do. It would probably, FOR ME, make taking care of dh HARDER< as I would resent him more and want to be with my lover.
sarahlynn I lift you up in prayer now, to make the right decisions and to accept what life is giving you. I am so sorry for your pain, and I am so glad that you have two daughters that love you.
I have a "pretend" man in my life, he is truly just a friend, his wife is sick with Multiple Sclerosis. He comes to our weekly market , makes me laugh, we talk about our situations a bit, and then he goes over to say hi to DH. Oh how nice it is to be older, and to know, most romantic stuff is fantasy anyway..
Sarahlynn, I can't add to the wisdom of the comments made by LFL, Judith and Coco. It seems to me that they have said it all. All I can do is offer you is my sympathetic, support and best wishes that you will take the wisest course for all concerned. If it were me, I'd subtract MIke from the equation. You'd be better off with a vibrator. Yes, this has been discussed before on this site. Others have had the same desires as you are having. Wisdom is power and the more help you can get from your doctor and other professionals, the better and easier it will be. Maybe your local Alzheimer's Association can direct you that way.
Sarahlynn, I agree that the others have given you excellent advice.. the only thing I can add is that you mentioned how when you gave your husband a real kiss he got tears in his eyes, and seemed afraid..... I firmly believe that our loved ones mirror our moods and actions. Maybe he can sense a turmoil inside you? Maybe he is afraid you wont be there to help him? Maybe he can sense his own decline? A lot of maybe’s …but I can imagine nothing more frightening than losing ones own mind. I imagine he must be very afraid. I doubt I will ever forget the look of sheer terror reflected in my husbands eyes.
I do also believe we must come to grips with the loss of our loved one, and it would be wise to do so before we try to recapture what has been lost with someone else. I think one can be just extremely vulnerable while witnessing all of the losses to not only our spouse, but to us, who we were as a couple. The loneliness is crippling. No one here will judge you if you want to carry on your relationship with Mike…. But do ask yourself…. Do you really care for him, or are you trying to recapture what has been lost with your husband?
Whatever you decide, be gentle with yourself ((hugs))
i broke it off with m and i feel good about it, and i do love my husband very much and i believe god knew what was best and, i myself was a church person and i used to play the piano and sing in the church from the age of 14 until. about 5 years ago i got hurt at church and now i cant bring myself to go . and now i guess i blame god for everything thats happen in my life , see before i meet my husband i was sexually abused , my father had sex me starting age 12 untill 20 and then i meet m y husband and years later i had flash backs and had trouble trusting people and men but i got help and later i told my husband all about what when on . and he stood by me and love me and unstood why i act the way i did. see my father even wanted me to have a baby by him at 16 , but didnt happen. i was mad at god case i was a church girl and when the door was opening i was there so i could not understand why god allow it to happen . well then it came out in the open and my father told mom and the family he did do it and he told me he was sorry about it and he couldnt take back what happen . he hope i could forgive him so i did but have not forgotter and dad and mom are togather still the family gets together for the hoilday . and sometimes things will trigger a flashback . but now i am mad cause now i feel like every thing in my life has been a battle and pain its like when will i get a piece of pie on my plate . i look at my sister she does utrsounds in the hospital and he husband is doctor and my other sister is a ast. manger cutting hair and clammer shots. her husband is a doctor to so they have money and do anything and everything. my baby sister is 33 my middle sister is 35 so there is alot years in there. and i think well why do i have to fight for every thing in my life , my husband was a smart man and he could do anything he is a ham radio the hightest he can go and he could build his own ham radio towel and he also work with the highway patrol for 28 years and i have had the troops tell me and others that if they need him to look up something on somebody they said richard could fine it and he with go to places on the computer that no one else would think of.and that richard was that good on his job. and he the love our girls and he would take them places and just get out in the yard when they were little and play under the hose , basket ball. he still is a good daddy and they love him and me and they call every night to check on us and also make sure we dont need something since i am not working. bye the way when the florid highway patrol has cook outs or something going on they always make sure i know so i can drive him there and they know all about him , they knew 2years ago something was wrong cause he would ask one of the troops something they knew he should know. its sad and heart breaking i have went to the bathrm and just cryed cause maybe i knew a person he didnt reconize i knew he should . the thing is he loves me with everything in soul , he holds my hand when we walk and tells me how pretty i am . and he wish he could be a complete man that i need and he wanted me to know that i was his whole life and i was the only thing he knew he could always hold on to. he will hold me in his arm s and always give me a real kiss . now this morning he got up and just really up set and crying it bother him that he could not drive he feels he is on a rope and he can only go this far on eletric chair and i had to do what i had to do to uplift him i feel helpless at times. well i need to go and i do thank everyone for helping me out and now i know i may the the right choice . but please keep praying for me ,
Sarahlynn - my heart breaks for you. I can't imagine the pain of abuse and all you've been through. This discussion is most certainly important enough to have it's own topic. Because it's posted under moorsb* "Life on the other side", if anyone wants to access your comments at a later date, we won't be able to because it's buried under another topic. The search tool on this site is invaluable to find topics that you may need to read because of something you may be going through. Please start a new discussion so we may comment, and then find the discussion if we need it. You are in my thoughts and prayers, you have a hard life. Keep coming back, I love reading your posts, but want to find them later. God Bless
Sarahlynn, so good to hear from you again. I am happy for you that you know you made the right decision. Now you can concentrate on your feelings and helping your husband. How lucky you are that he is still able to express his love for you. I am lucky in that too, my husband is late stage but can still tell me he loves me. It gives me the strength I need to fight another day.
I too am sorry to hear of your childhood abuse, flashbacks can be very hard to handle, have you seen anyone to help you with this? So much on your plate, and I can understand your envy of your sisters and your anger at God. When we are in a bad place, it is hard to see the good we have in our lives.
Know that you are safe here, we wont judge you and will try to help you in any way we can. It sounds like you are in a better place about your husband. I know it is so very hard, and I know you want ALL of him back!! We all do…….. But please try not to be so consumed in the pain, that you miss out on the good times you can still have together. Hold hands, take those walks, treasure his words…
What I wouldn’t give to be able to walk hand in hand with my Lynn again…..
I have heard so many stories of abuse of our little girls including my sister who was abused by our grandfather.
You are utterly and completely blameless. Your father stole your trust through his weakness. No child is responsible for any action when tricked like this.
My sister and I talked at long length about her ordeal finally and I asked her if she would hold her young grandaughter complicit in any way which she saw as nonesense and it has helped her to see and talk about the truth. She was completely innocent of any wrong done. The adult broke a sacred trust. That we all protect our innocent and do no harm to them.
How can we believe again when so much damage to our trust has been done?
One thing is to understand the two sides of an act of faith. On the one side we assign roles and powers to the god we believe in and try and understand those things, on the other side of that same act of faith we assign roles and powers to ourselves and try and understand those things.
There is no faith without both sides of that because faith itself is an interaction between you and god, and therefore requires both of you.
And it is inside your half of that where the effects of this crime committed on you resides - which is the damage to your ability to believe given that you have survived such a powerful betrayal of it.
There is no let to this because he confessed his crimes. That's between him and his god. My only concern is with you and to try and reach a helping hand.
It is within you to restore some things that were taken. The truth of these events is that something was done to you which you survived with harm to you. And within that is the truth that anything you can get back you have surely earned and are more than entitled to. By 'get back', I mean some peace of mind and calm inside.
You are strong and you don't believe that because believing itself is hard and it's not exactly like that because you've done many things; but, perhaps not as much in the center.
If you can find it inside yourself to authorize yourself to begin kicking at this thing you survived but, not only no longer have use for, but are in fact tired of - you may begin to find that it is you kicking it - not the other way around.
Let me help you. Try this. I (kick) am (kick) tired (kick) of (kick) YOU! (KICK)
You've already proven you're strong. Your father has admitted he committed a crime. There's only one person here who could use a bit of a break and perhaps start to get rid of this thing, or make it smaller, and maybe one day kick it off the train and see that it is moving into the past while I am going into the future.
Capitalize your 'i's. Start with that. Every time you do realize you have as much value as every other human being. I've read your story. You have as much value as I do I can promise you that. And you have as much right to find some happiness inside as I do.
There's one thing I can say with certainty. When my sister and I started defining it instead of it defining her, it started getting a lot smaller for her. It took something for her to realize the last part of this was to beat the power of it still residing inside her. One kick at a time.
I had to look Makita up on Google and was tempted to use the phone number they gave to ask them. it reminded me of the time I heard DH on the phone, and his side of the conversation sounded a little strange. When he hung up, I asked him who he'd been talking to. "One of the massage ads in the Personals. I wanted to know if they had rates for Seniors." Of course I wanted to know what they'd said . "The woman just laughed and said, 'No, sir.'" He told me he was writing a column, and he was doing research.
Saralynn - you have come to hear already experiencing much of this disease by yourself without the knowledge and support you will get here. Give yourself the time - there is so much to learn. And, do not be scared off when reading what others are going through. Many of our spouses will not have the most horrible symptoms but it is good to be aware of what may be coming so when it happens you will not be totally off guard. Educate, Educate, and educate yourself. Short term memory, repeating every couple minutes, forgetting to do what they just said they would do, forgetting to do what they did automatically; self medical care that they would do without thinking about - all are something we all experience and go buggy with. Learning to ignore when repeating, taking a deep breath when they forget; for medical care - there are those whose spouse has diabetes and they can no longer be counted on to test, read correctly and administer insulin anymore.
Our freedoms are gone - they are our children who instead of growing up and becoming independent are 'ungrowing' and becoming totally dependent on us.
You do not need a vibrator. I have been told by reliable sources that an Oral B toothbrush not used as directed can take you places in a spiritual sense. It was educational for me to learn that it was the brush side that was used in this particular anecdote. The key words conveyed to me were 'available' and 'reliable'.
The fact that my wife was marketing that product for Gillette and launched it in Canada many years ago and did a lot of travelling alone should not be construed as anything more than coincidental - as opposed to any other sort of dental.
My wife and I rarely talked about the things we tried and enjoyed. We found that most people's boundries were quite different from ours. I suppose in our world back arching orgasms were worth researching while for most of the friends we had it was all 'too much information'.
We all get to choose what we try. In my world it gives me comfort that we had so much fun together. I've been going through the house now that she won't be coming back and I found that favourite toothbrush. It's in the main bathroom on the counter. It makes me smile.