My husband has Alzheimers. I went to an Elder Care attorney here in SC and from what he said a facility will take my husbands retirement and SS which leaves me with about $621.00 I am also in Chapter 13 and have a mtge on the house plus all other expenses that go with it. He has had this for quite a few years and is violent so needless to say I am home most days except for going to appts and grocery shopping maybe once a month. I have a son who helps but my big concern is his violent behaviour. Basically some days I fear for my life but am kind of stuck. Does anyone know of anything that I can do to protect all the income? I do also have POA. My next step is an attorney who does trusts and wills etc.
Thanks ahead of time for any replies I sure appreciate them.
Gldncrystl-- You're new here. Welcome. You've landed in a good place, for support, unrstanding, and information. Others will come along to tell you more. For now, let me provide the following.
Talk to your Area Agency on Ageing about services available to you. Also, talk to your Dept. of Social Services. Your DH may already, or would if placed, qualify for Medicaid. The Elder Care Attorney may likely be only partially, correct. Medicaid would look at the total financial picture, and not impoverish the spouse still living in the community, in order to cover your DH's care. A portion of his income could be left to you for your expenses.
As to the volence--talk to your DH's Dr. about medication to help, and let the Police know he hasAlz and is an endangrment to himslf or others. That can help, if the need arises that you need to call for help. As long as there's no actual harm (injury) in the situation, they can, at your request take him to the hospital for medication evaluation. Above all keep your phone on you always, and have a safe place to get to. You must look out for yourself first.
Stick around. Read the posts and Joan's Blogs. We're all here to take care of each other.
welcome Gldncrystl. I am not there yet but there are many discussions threads on this. Plus, others will come along that have dealt with issues like you.
A big welcome to you Gldncrystl. You have come to a place of support, caring and compassion. I can't help with your current problem, but others will be along,I'm sure.
Welcome Goldncrystl. If you can, try to find an elder law attorney in your area that specializes in Medicaid planning. You really need one who truly understands the Medicaid laws, not all elder law attorneys have this knowledge. Carosi gave you some good resources to call and find out what's availabe to you.
Welcome Gldncrystl. A law firm that can look at all your legal paperwork..POA, Health POA, End of Life agreement, etc., and can also assist w/what you need to do to qualify for Medicaid is SC. The firm will likely advise you on how to meet the financial guidelines and, possibly with a social worker or legal assistant, work the application through w/the county Social Services office. I have a friend in Charleston that may be able to check out firms and give me suggestions if you choose to take that route. I have also found the firm does not need to be located in the county where you live to handle the task.
Please be advised, check out possible LTC facilities where you live to be sure they meet your expectations for quality care and accept Medicaid residents.
You will find this site an enormous help as you travel the same path we travel with you.
welcome gldncrystl. you have some good starts here to get a jump on the areas to focus on. if you are only left with 621dol/mo we know that lack of funds to live on- criteria gives you some leeway to not become completely impoverished as the surviving spouse. make sure you start the ball rolling to see what you need to do and get all the options in your state. requirements vary per states. check with a certified medicaide elder law atty and get all the needed paperworks done - divvi
Welcome Gldncrystl, I am sorry you are dealing with so much! If you qualify for Medicaid, and it sounds like you do, you will be able to keep most, if not all your husband's SS for spousal support. I didn't have anything but the house, which has been in my name only since marriage, so I did not need to see an atty. If you have other assets, it would be wise to follow through with the elder law atty.
As Carosi pointed out, there are medications to help with the violent behaviors. Please talk to your doctor.
Thank you so much for all the replies....To Tom and all of you many {{{{{{}}}}<<<hugs. I have found and Elder Care Attorney in Columbia, SC and she is renowned in her field. Problem will be paying for her but with my situation I dont think I have much choice. She will take payments :) I have talked to hub's neurologist and he is on numerous meds. He is non stop all day long with his Help me Help me and all that they say. I am so glad I found all of you. You know you talk to people and they say oh my mom my dad but a spouse is soo much different. The demands are 24 x 7 and your life stops.
Please feel free to contact me in email.....starzcast@aol.com I dont feel so much alone.
Glad you came here for help and to ease frustrations; it's a great family.
We are using an elder care attorney who specializes in Medicaid. Costs, but is worth it because they know all the rules and hoops to jump through. I just gave him info, papers whatever he requested. Have protected my savings with his help and advice. The process has taken months because of consolidation/disbanding of area agencies, new software (isn't that always an excuse) that staff hasn't used properly and a few other excuses. The State agency has admitted their errors and will pay "retroactively," but I think the care center where my hb is is getting nervous:) I'm paying most of his Social Security to them until the Medicaid process is complete. Then the amount I have to pay will be adjusted--probably still a fair chunk of his SS. Up side: he's getting excellent care by staff 24/7. Takes 2 to care for him and they wonder how I managed for so long. Now I'm rested and can spend unstressed time w/him.
Thanks Zibby :) I have found an Elder Care attorney who wrote the book on it for SC but she is pretty expensive. Hopefully I can do alot of the paper work as if she does it its $3000. I have only what we make per month. Soon as I can rustle up her $325 for an hr I will at least talk to her. I am also in Chapt 13 so probably that will change for me should I have to pay anything for him till he is fully on Medicaid.
Blessings to all of you this is such a wonderful group.
My experience is that $3K is a very good price but I understand your financial issues. If you can somehow afford the expense it will be money well spent. You could ask about some terms for repayment, if she would consider doing it pro bono or could recommend someone who would. A risk here, but you could call a local law school and ask if they would have a 3rd year student that may want to help..free or a lot less. Just ideas.
I agree with tom, $3k is a good price-the elder law atty. The one I consulted wanted $10k, then changed his mind when we were in crisis with DH's behaviors...said he would charge his hourly rate of $500/hr. I know due to your personal financial situation $3k probably seems like $1M but talk to the atty. let her know your situation and see if perhaps a legal assistant at her firm could do the paperwork under the supervision of the atty. Or ask if she'll do pro bono. Good luck!
$3000 is a very good price for medicaid elder care attorney around here, but as others have said, if you can swing it any way, it's well worth it. Perhaps you could arrange payments. Our attorney's paralegal does most of the paperwork. The firm's been doing elder care work a long time. The attorney is the "heavy hitter" and comes into action when required--as when the care center where my hb resides was demanding payment more than the monthly I was paying. The director and business mgr asked me to come in for a meeting, which I did. My attorney told me when I got there to ask for a teleconference with him; I did; and he clarified everything with them. After the meeting, as I was leaving, the director said, "You're lucky to have an attorney working for you." Yup; blessed is how I put it.