My wife and I have been married 46 years. She was injured in an accident in 1990. A car came through the building where she was working. She received a tramatic brain injury from the collapse of wall next to where she was standing. She had a long recovery and was in a TBI clinic for approximately 2-years. During that time she had heart failure due to some of the drugs they were giving her. She was then dropped from the program. They continued with a therapist each week for the past 20-years. Due to the type of work I did I was able to take her with me on all my business trips. I beleive that's how this disease was undetected for so long. I noticed a big change when I changed jobs in 2007. She became less focused and more confused by the day. The theripist also dropped her as she did not feel she was doing anything for her. My wife couldn't remember any of the visits. She has been diagnosed with Post Concussion Syndrome (PCS). It falls in line with dementia. I had to hire caregivers so I could continue working. That was a daily struggle as my wife had trust issues with strangers being in our home. I finally decided to retire and take care of her myself. At first it was like a long vacation for both of us. That lasted for a couple of months. Now my wife hardly knows who I am. She continues to ask when her husband will be coming home. It is difficult to watch the one you love become fearful of you.

Thanks for listening...

Welcome, parmer65. You have landed in a very soft place with understanding people going through or have gone through what you are.

Welcome Parmer65. You certainly have landed in the right spot. So sorry you have to be here, but you will find the wisdom and knowledge beyond belief. Please stop back often, and remember, anything that comes up in your DW's situation, you will probably get lots of experience and help. Hang in there...

HI parmer65, this is a place of refuge and comfort, I have been here just a short while, and it has helped me IMMENSELY!! Honestly I don't know how I could make it sometimes without this site.

There is a wealth of information, anything you need to know just type it in the search.

And you can say anything here....no one gets mad when we need to rant and rave.

Welcome parmer65...so sorry that your going through this.
Everyone here is compassionate and very helpful, feel free to ask for help or vent if you need to, we understand.

Parmer65
Welcome aboard. At this website you will find a very knowledgible support group. They are here for a common reason and all are either spouses with live partners or ones whose partner has passed, but still try to offer information and support to the ones that are still in the trenches. Sorry that you have a circumstance which brings you here but glad you came. May God bless you and yours.
Bruce D *

Welcome and visit as often as you can even if you don't join the conversations much..there are some who pop in on a now and then basis..But for those of us who are on board nearly every day, I don't think we could survive without the input from one another and every subject under the sun regarding caring for our LO is discussed..no need to be embarrassed by any topic..we are at different stages of the " journey" as we call it...

And life her on the boards is not always down in the dumps...we have humor and even special events virtual parties that lift the spirits..

Thank you all for your comments. It is very hard for me to talk about this. I have been in denial for years. Our children kept pushing me to get help which was difficult. I covered up a lot by taking my wife with me on business trips. But since retirement everything is out in the open. I deeply respect my wife. She is the love of my life. It is so hard to look in her eyes knowing she doesn't recognize me. Last night was a good night for her. Her confusion was minimal.

Thanks again!

Because of our constant travel with my work, my wife thinks we are going somewhere most of the time. She thinks she has to pack the suitcase to be ready for the next trip and then gets angry with me when I tell her we are not going anywhere. She constantly tells me that I told her to get packed.

parmer65, I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this. I also know about covering up. Once I started telling others about my husband it became easier to take him places and allow him to talk to others without me being embarrassed for him. I still think I go in and out of denial sometimes. It's hard to fully accept. I don't write often on the message board but I read the comments daily. It has helped me tremendously and I know it will help you, too.

parmer65--if I may give you a little advice, let your wife pack the suitcase. The concept is called "therapeutic fibbing", and it basically consists of telling the dementia patient what they want to hear in order to keep them happy and keep the peace. Most of us have become very adept at doing this--it seems weird at first, but you get used to it as time goes on. There is no point in trying to use reason or logic with someone who has dementia--we have to enter their world. Just keep telling her that the next trip is tomorrow!

Wow, whatta story!
But brain injury is brain injury be it external or internal and it can all affect the behavior that a spouse has to deal with.
Sorry you have to join our little group but rest assured you are in the right place.

parmer maybe one of those devices that you use to 'find your keys' (it whistles or something) you could attach to her purse? it would be easier to find:)

bluedze..Good idea but I need the get away. I feel it is a B&B already only I am the one doing all the work. Our home is 40 miles north of Charlotte, NC. It was built in 1881 and has been fully restored. It is on the NC register of historic places. We have been the caretakers of this wonderful house for 26 years.

divvi..Thanks for the recommendation. I will use that trick to keep track of things. It is a constant problem.