DH goes to a day program three times a week. I get his clothes ready, put them in the bathroom and tell him to shower. He can still shower by himself. After his shower he had been putting the dirty clothes back on. If I get him into the clean clothes, I then get ready myself. By then he is back in the dirty clothes. Today, I found him taking dirty clothes from his clean clothes drawer. He is very confused and I am at my wits end. I know it doesn't matter what he we wears to the day program, but I do not want him in dirty clothes. Also, he said he took a shower, but he did not. He said he brushed his teeth, but he did not.
all very typical maryd. i bet 90%of us have gone thru this. when you take his dirty clothes put them in a large plastic black bag in a secure spot just to get out of sight. all dirty clothes have to be 'taken' and lost and only the clean stuff left out. unfortunately as time progresses more supervision on all the daily regimes has to increase. supervising his teeth being brushed and checking in the shower. staying in dirty clothes and unwilling to shower and change, well it should be written into the AD diaries as cronic complaints of caregivers.
Been there. I now have to put my own clothes out of sight. I was tired one evening after work. Took off my work clothes to get into my sweat pants. I just threw my dress pants on the dresser, didn't bother to hang them up. Next morning DH comes downstairs with my pants on. I laughed. I was amazed that he can fit into my pants now! So as not to confuse him, all clothes are put away (hung up or in the hamper) and the only ones left out are the ones for him to wear. My new thing now is that I have to undress him before the shower. If I ask him to do it himself he'll get half undressed then start dressing back up. I now have to help take all his clothes off. It was hard at first, I though he would be humiliated but it didn't seem to phase him. I now peak into the shower to make sure he washes. That will be next, I see it coming. I am going to have to wash him.
Maryd - my DH does the same, he wears the same clothes for a week. I have learned to choose my battles, and this is one I choose to let go. It is very typical, so I know there are lots of folks at DH's day care in the same clothes day after day. Mag, my DH also wears my coats and jackets. It is funny, and I will say something like "wouldn't you be more comfortable in this jacket"? If he says no....off we go! :)
Mag, there already. I have to undress Lloyd, dress him, get in the shower with him, wash him, shampoo him, take out his plate and partial, clean them, put them back in, brush his teeth, and shave him. He doesn't like to get undressed for bed so...he doesn't. I'm choosing my battles and if he wants to sleep in his clothes, it's fine with me. I do have to fight to get his shoes and socks off, but I choose that battle, too.
I try to hide my clothes but I'm not always successful-so he comes downstairs wearing my tops adn insists that it i his. I tell him he looks like a sausage and perhaps this top (his) would fit him better and he'd be more comfortable. Can't fit into my pants -YET!
I've limited DWs clothing choices. I get several of each color of the same shorts, pedal pushers, slacks and tops from catalogs like Lands End or Ll Bean. She can go on an only white shorts compulsion or only green for a few days or spend hours continually changing. This way she can always come up with a combo top and bottom that's clean, matches to some degree and is familiar to her. I just let her do her thing when she starts with the changing behavior. Dirty clothing goes into a built in hamper she never used in the past, preferring a laundry basket on the floor in the master bath. Now it's a life saver, she never looks in it.
nelsons, thats a brilliant idea to chose several colors of mixnmatch peices and limit the choices for your wife=makes it very easy for them to look decent.
Nelsons, I had to chuckle to myself when you mentioned “Pedal Pushers”! The kids today call them capri pants (capris) but I still refer to them as pedal pushers! (doesn’t show our age, does it!)