you know, these are the things I thought I would never forget while living it, but I really can't recall now. I know Lynn wasn't even diagnosed until he was stage 5, he did drive for awhile after that, but not long. I guess it would depend on what stage they are in when they are diagnosed.
My hb's diagnosis was MCI progressing to dementia of the AD type and 18 months later I had the doctor tell him no more driving. Just prior to that request I had him do the clock test and all the numbers were on one side, he was always thinking cars were on the yellow line or rushing up behind him....I did not feel safe. He still thinks he could be driving but all in all he accepts my taking over and it hasn't been an issue.
My LO drove to a friends house an asked if she could hide car in garage as an old boy friend was chasing her around the house? The friend called one of her boys an they brought her an the car home,never drove again an was diagnosed a week or so ,from the time she was diagnosed to her passing was about two an ahalf years,seemed once she was in ALF everything moved very quickly
I managed to get my wife to stop driving shortly after diagnosis. Of course, readers of my previous posts know that Clare really should have been disgnosed 2-3 years earlier. She was misdiagnosed first with 'mental overload' then it was stress, then anxiety, and then depression because she never presented symptoms in the doc's office that I was seeing each day at home. Docs completely disregarded copies of logs I showed them, and she kept acing the MMSE and other cognitve testing. Support from my caregiver group gave me the strength I needed to remain firm and deal with the most highly emotional issue we've yet dealt with on this horrible journey. When Clare realized how important it was to me that she stop driving before she seriously injured herself or others, she did ... just 2 months after diagnosis. Lots of tears and arguing ... but she stopped. Of course, her denial continued and as much as 2 years later she would still say to me she thought she could still drive safely!
Good question - Answer - One day to long. She ran thru a neighbors yard, knocked down the shrubs and mailbox; drove the car home and put it in the garage. Didn't tell me. That was the last time she drove, but, we it was a real battle. I had to get the kids to help. In fact, our son took her keys to his home. That was about as bad as it gets.
In ref to acvann's comment, 2 above--Jeff should have been diagnosed 2-3 years before he was as well, easily. We got the "can't be AD" run-around, before anyone got real enough to order the proper tests.
jcapo3 i brought the driving issues up in a new topic. check it out. 600+posts. my idea is once the diagnosis is in the 'medical folder' its a time bomb and if they get into an accident a decent atty will find that info. its not worth the financial risks, but yes its probably the hardest issue to confront. good luck. remember you are not alone, almost all of us had to fight this issue.
Besides the 600+ posts in the driving issue thread, there is a comprehensive resource on left side of the home page - www.thealzheimerspouse.com- titled "Driving and Dementia", where you will find a lot of information to help you. If you read that resource, you will see highlighted many of the blogs I wrote when I was going through this with Sid.
The last time my husband drove was on the way home from the doctor after we went to get the results from all the tests. I was so upset that I don't think I could have driven home on that day. As it was, I thought he was going to have to stop by the side of the road so I could throw up.
We both knew he had been having problems with driving for a while, but after getting the diagnosis, we both knew that he couldn't drive any more.
We hear a lot about how hard giving up driving is for the spouse. It really was hard for him. But it was also hard for me. He had always done the driving when we were in the car together, and now that was another responsibility for me to take on. The first time I had to go get gas by myself, I cried the whole time. That might sound silly, but DH always took care of getting the gas. It was such a concrete symbol of how things had changed for both of us—forever.
He was diagnosed a year and a few months ago, and stopped almost immediately. He had had a few close calls almost hitting people, I was so freaked out, Just pulled out in front of them. (at the time I did not know he was unwell)
Then he backed in to a big tree and really damaged the truck.
I have been SO lucky he does not fight me on this. I used to enjoy his driving so much , he was careful and safe and courteous.
That said, I do have to hide the keys or I will go out in the yard and he will be moving the truck around...
Hmmmmm! I was thinking about this & I guess that I am one of the lucky ones. DH just sorta stopped driving & I took over. He was dx 6 years ago & it’s hard for me to believe that he hasn’t driven in 6 years, but I don’t think he drove after his dx (if he did it was for a very short period of time). He did drive once about 2 & a half years ago, I was sick & I wanted to go to the ER & I didn’t think I could drive. I asked him if he would drive & he really didn’t want to, but he knew I was sick so he drove the 12 miles to the hospital. OMG I’m surprised we made it there without having an accident. I don’t know who was more scared, him or me. Lucky for us I really like to drive. I’m really not worried about him trying to drive anymore. He can’t even get in the car without me showing him which door to get in.
DH had gotten seriously lost twice before his diagnosis-both times in a different state and both times for literally hours. The last time he was lost for over 16 hours and had travelled to 4 different states before the state police called me at 4:30 am to come get him over 80 miles away. I told his neuro while he was going for the final evaluation; neuro reported it to the state DMV which revoked his license. Because DH became aggressive right after diagnosis and spent 4 months in a psych hospital when he came home driving never became an issue...he hadn't driven for 4 months and didn't seem to want to. I thank god for that...many other things have been very difficult but not the driving issue.
My husband was diagnosed in March 2008 and still drives. His driving is fine, have not seen anything to worry me - believe me I am on constant alert. His doctor says in that area he seems to have not lost the abilities - yet - but he can only drive with me due to not remembering how to get to places.
Once we had the DX I took the keys and he has not driven since. It was easy...I just told him he did all the driving and I was losing my skills and needed to practice. That was it..He thinks he can drive but is happy to be shotgun.
My DH's doctor revoked his license through the mail, did not mention it to me ahead of time, it was a shock but I am glad I did not have to do it. so the same he time he was diagnosed is my answer.2008.
My husband gets tested once a year by an occupational therapist who specialized in driving evaluation at the local rehab hospital. He has agreed that when she say he can't drive he will give it up. In the meantime, I figure having that official medical evaluation that he is safe to drive is some protection against losing a lawsuit if he causes an accident. He has voluntarily given up driving at night and I have not seen dangerous behavior.
The day the doctor gave us the diagnosis he told us DH had to take a driver's exam. If he didn't take the exam the doctor said he would turn him in. He took the test and failed. I've been lucky, he has not tried to drive. Keys are hidden just in case.
After diagnosis, my family doctor asked for an annual evaluation by the Motor Vehicle Department. There was a simple form he filled out and faxed in. Then the DMV contacted my DH and told him he needed to be tested which included both the written and behind the wheel test. My DH passed 2 years in a row and then gradually stopped driving (of course I always got behind the wheel when we were together). Both years he passed he was given restrictions of no night driving and I think 30 miles from his home.
DH drove for a year ...Our Dr, did the same, a $500 test or give up driving, he didn't want o pay to have the test, so she even wrote to the traffic branch and had them come to take his license away. now he's the worst back seat driver ever and driving me crazy...
Hubby scored 14 on his MMSE and I got the doctor to have him take the drivers test and didn't he pass it. Go figure! So he doesn't have to take it for another year. Thank goodness we live out in the wilderness. Very little traffic.
My dh drove for about a year after diagnosis, although very close to home, during the day and not very often. He was told to stop driving by family (neuro said it was OK!) and he did not believe his driving ability was failing. Then it happened. A fender bender and police were called. My dh argued, could not accept that he was at fault, went to court where he agreed to be retested, as he believed he would have no trouble passing either the written or road test. Well, it was heartbreaking to watch as he struggled with both tests. He failed, very low scores. He wanted to practice and study and take the test again, but new neuro and family convinced him not to try and he surrendered his license. The next year was hellish as he still wanted to drive, would forget he was not licensed anymore and BLAMED me for all that. The driving issue spoiled our relationship he hated me so much, it took a year out of our marriage, made it an extemely emotional one. I know my dh was scared, confused about his declining abilities and acted out in fear, loss of dignity...and it was hard for me having to drive us everywhere and then being criticized for my driving the whole time.
jcapo3--just wondering if the comments helped you with your situation. Perhaps if you gave us some insight into why you asked the question, we could help you more.
Since people are dx at different stages along the continuum of the disease, and each patient tends to vary somehwat in terms of deterioration, I'm wondering if the length of time others drove after dx may not be relevant to your LO?
Symptoms came on (in hindsight) at age 55, MCI Dx at age 57 and she just stopped driving 3-weeks ago at age 61.
I gave her a driving test myself every week. (never over 2 weeks) When we went to the store I just told her that she needed to drive. I told her the destination and looked to see if she could safely find it. When I was driving I would get her to give me directions ("Where do we turn next?") and I asked her if I was driving OK and she knew the rules.
She NEVER wandered and NEVER wanted to drive anyplace besides the Senior Center or my parents’ house. (Both about a mile & a half away, straight streets only 2 turns)
About 3 weeks ago she got a burning urge to go to my folk’s house at 8:30 PM. (she had been going there after lunch during the day) I caught her starting to drive away and brought her back inside. Then when I went to the bathroom, I came out and she was gone! I called mom/dad and yup, she was there. (9 PM) She did not want to drive back home by herself. (She was afraid of the dark) so dad brought her back and her car has been at their house ever since.
I put her keys away and she has not asked for them or even mentioned driving since. In the last 3 weeks she has started day care so perhaps all her deficits have now dropped to this point(?)
I am happy that I dodged the driving bullet. All in all this part went very easy THANK YOU!!!!! The car will have to come back home to be sold, hopefully when it appears again it won’t bring back any desires.
Yes marilyninMD, these comments were very helpful. To address your comment on more insight, here goes.....Like everyone else, we have a very busy life, especially with 2 young kids (12 & 16). They are very active in sports all year. Their athletic schedule takes us out of town, out of state, & sometimes out of the country (not across the ocean, but up in Canada). Often enough, their schedules conflict and we're all in opposite directions. Needless to say , lots of driving over here. I'm just trying to get some type of "forecast" on this issue. Thank you for commenting....be well.
Had to many close calls prior to official DX. ."Well, only 12 people honked at me today", was a typical comment of the day. Scraped garage door, hit road barricades. . Pulled out in front of motor cyclist. .That was the last time driving. .Thank God he survived. .Should have stopped long before, but at 51, was still being told it was more anxiety or mood related disorders she was experiencing. .Will from time to time talk about hoping to someday drive again. . I know she really knows how far-fetched that is. .without me even telling her. .I think she just misses driving. . . along with so many other things. .
jcapo3, every dementia person progresses at their own pace, however, based on what you've told us about driving young adults to various programs, sometimes long distances, you might want to have your spouse tested to make sure she can still drive safely. The risks are great-your children and others in the car could be injured or she could possibly injure someone else. I was advised that once DH had the dx of dementia (FTD in his case) if he was driving and had an accident or god forbid injured someone, the insurance company would likely not cover any of the damages and wouldn't represent us in a lawsuit. Since that could financially devastate your family it might be prudent to have her tested for driving competency. yes, I really do understand the hardship it will create if she is found not competent to drive.