My daughter, 24, came home on Thurs (midnite) from NYC for the weekend to visit because, in her words, "she missed us". Now she's headed back to NYC (we live in Arlington, TX) and for some reason, all the way home from the airport I was just "very down", and still cannot seem to shake my 'loneliness' feeling. I have not cried when she leaves to go home in a long time, but for some reason, this time it seems to hurt so much! I really enjoyed having her here with us -- she was a big help -- offering to get food & bring it back, unloading the dishwasher without being asked, bringing in all the dirty towels to the laundry room...not to mention her company. I miss her terribly, and I just wish she could live back home...My husb hugged her goodbye, but then really doesn't seem to 'miss her' like I do -- This is the first time she's left that he really didn't 'realize' the was gone. I hate Alzheimer's...I hate the loneliness of it all...My heart is heavy.
Seems we see our kids less and less after AD takes over our lives. how wonderful your dear daughter makes you happy and gives you that oh so needed closeness and affection we miss when AD takes our spouse. I feel the same way when my only son comes to visit, and I always stand at the balcony window and watch his car turn until out of sight- sadness and the 'empty nest' syndrome and or/ for that fact empty house syndrome, takes over and i become quite melancholy for some time after he visits. same when my mom comes by- they remind us of earlier times when AD wasnt in our lives and that the need for affection and comfort still exists. hope you feel better soon, Natsmom, call her later on the phone and tell her how much her visits mean- divvi
My daughter lives about 3 hours south of here and she's pretty good about phoning me 2-3X a week and we have long talks. I have a son who lives 2,000 miles away. He calls on his cell phone when he's driving across town just to check in. But, like you, I get frightfuly lonely. I have 3 sons who live around here but it's amazing how busy they are. They all admit they are in denial and don't want to hear about it. I try to be really careful and not talk about anything with me. I just ask them upbeat questions, etc. But, oh, how I'd LOVE to just explode and let them know what's really going on around here. Maybe one day I will do that. Probably not, but it's a thought.
Mawzy, maybe a group email is the best option for you to let all of them know "what is going on around here". My daughter knows, and she is like your daughter. Mine also lives hours away but makes sure she comes to see me at least once a month and we talk on the telephone too. But when I wanted my nephews to know what was going on I did the group email thing. They both live far away so I don't see them, but both of them needed to know and cared what was going on.
As for the explosion, basically you should just "go public" in email, because that will take the fuse out of your mad. In the long run it is best to find a way to vent out your anger. This is a good place to do some of it, but you need also to find a way to be honest with your kids.
This seems like a very sad day to me. I know I have dreaded having my DH die in Stage 7, but now that something else is wrong (and possibly fatal) I feel so sad to know our days are probably numbered. Tomorrow we go to get a CAT scan, but I have already googled the symptoms - enlarged liver, spleen, anemia, exhaustion - and expect to be told that besides AD and PD we have another medical issue. Hank has been the love of my life. I will be forever grateful to him that he was willing to be a vagabond in this RV lifestyle and by this time I am perfectly able to manage everything necessary to drive this rig and hook up our tow vehicle by myself. Still, I really had WANTED more time to enjoy this as a couple. I suppose I could be wrong, but this defintely feels like we are nearing the end...
frand The two of you are in my thoughts and I am be hoping that you are wrong. I am so glad that you had a love of your life.....not everyone does... Keep good thoughts and know that others are thinking of you
thanks - I replied on another post, but will also say I did contact Hospice and now they might come out this afternoon if the CAT scan results indicate something serious. I'll let you know.