My husband had 2 really good days, so I guess this day is back to reality. We went to grocery store, everything seemed fine until we came home. We were carrying groceries in, I was already in the house, when I heard him messing with the door handle, when I went to see what was wrong he told me the door was locked, I should have thought before I spoke, however, I said, No it wasn't. Well, that started it. He kept saying it was locked, finally I agreed. Well, that still didn't satisfy him. I went to water flowers he followed me saying something about the ignition on the car & how he was going to get it fixed (nothing is wrong with car) Then he came in the house saying he was disappointed? I have no clue in what. Tried to get him to come in for lunch, no way. I just seen him go around to the patio, I am sure he thought I was there, even though he saw me go in the house. He just came in for no reason, other than he is looking for a fight. I am trying my best not to let that happen. Even though I would like to scream.
you did right, leave and walk away, no confrontations, no rationalizing. absolutely no interactions is best when you see the nitpicking coming on- if he follows, keep moving away and try to avoid him-(mine would follow me around picking, picking, hoping i would fuel his fire!:) hopefully it will pass and he will find another interest. yes, they become quite testy when it comes to 'looking for a fight'. IGNORE! then go scream in the bathroom, it helps. divvi
I sometimes think the 'good' days are cruel, because it sets off a tiny little thoughts in your brain that this isn't so bad, look, our LO is getting better!
We may know in our brains that good days are just as much of an anomaly as a bad day, but that doesn't stop us from harboring the small guilty hope that maybe they're getting better. That's why this disease is so cruel...hope isn't even an option. At least a cancer patient might go into remission. There's no remission possible here. I know, medications and such to slow progress. But still...a good day does make the bad ones seem worse somehow.
Trisinger, You are so right, a good day does seem to make the bad ones worse. The good days seem to laud you into a sense of security, then WHAM back to reality. When my Father-In-Law was caring for my Mother-In-Law he would always say "He thought Alzheimer's was worse than cancer" I really couldn't understand why he would make such a statement, now I know why.
"I sometimes think the 'good' days are cruel, because it sets off a tiny little thoughts in your brain that this isn't so bad, look, our LO is getting better!" Oh, how many times have I said that? The good days are what every day use to be. The days that are good now sometimes do feel like a taunt. They hurt because you know there is no reversal ahead, maybe only another "good" day, or hour.
Neurological diseases, ALS, these diseases where there is no hope of a cure - when hope is not an option - this is a definition of hell. How to help those who are in this situation and doing without the love too?
Dear Kadee: I will tell you that you did the right thing because w/AD there is no right or wrong, only what gets you thru the moment. You learn by doing and then you learn that what worked in the morning will not work at night--unless, of course, it does & then you are lulled into thinking you've got a handle on it, and then---well, you get the idea.
We all make decisions not to scream, to keep calm, not argue, etc, etc, and then WHAM, it all flies out the window, but you do what you can at the moment, and that's the best that you can do and so, yes, it's the right thing. Until next time.