Well I think it might be time to look into getting one of those safe return bracelets for my DH. I had a scare tonight. We went to dinner at one of the few couples who still has us over. When we got home we got out of the car & I told Tom to come this way. I went up to the front door assuming he was right behind me. It was dark & I wasn’t paying attention & I swear no more than 3 minutes passed & he was gone. I heard him in the distance saying, “Elaine, where are you?” I yelled “Come here” & then “Stop.” What happened is that instead of walking towards the house he walked down the driveway & then to the corner. I didn’t know where he went so I called my daughter’s house (across the street) & told my SIL that Dad was missing. He came out & started walking around with a flashlight & I told him that I would drive around the subdivision. I drove to the next street & I saw some commotion in the second driveway. Sure enough he had walked to the next block & a lady recognized him & was about to drive him home. I can’t believe that he didn’t just go across the street to our daughter’s house. The porch light was on, but he just didn’t see it. He really doesn’t wander on his own, but this could happen again if I’m not careful. I think I’ll call the police department tomorrow because they have a safe return program & it’s free.
Elaine- It happened to me also, and I realized that I did not pay attention to what she was wearing, and I could not describe her . I got into the habit of taking her picture on my phone every time we went out. Many times, I could show her picture and someone would remember seeing her. I also learned to walk behind her. I always lost her at a store check out, because she would get distracted, wander off, and I was not paying attention. I think it is best to really never let them get behind you...and to let them lead if possible,
At night they get disoriented. My husband finds his way during the day by looking for familiar things. AT night, even with lights they do not look familiar. That is probably what happened - he did not recognize anything in the dark, even with a light on the house.
I am glad you found him and even happier that you have neighbors that care enough to watch out for him. You are blessed.
Phranque, you are so right. I guess we are hopefully optimistic that their brains still work to some level and they will do what makes sense to us. So sad that's wrong. Lloyd likes to get to the checkout and keep on going while I try to check out. More than once I have apologized and just abandoned everything to go and get him. Elaine, thank God you have family and neighbors who know your situation and will aid whenever they can. My family is close also (my daughter and her family live with us) and all the neighbors are vigilant. We need a bigger house, but added on and stayed here because of the neighbors.
It can happen so fast. We were entering the dining room here at our retirement facility and I thought that, as usual, he was right behind me. When I got to the table and sat down I saw that he wasn't with me. Much searching was done and finally the security guard at the exit gate called the police, who reported that an ambulance driver had reported to them that there was a man standing by the nearby highway looking disoriented. A security guard took off in a golf cart to check it out and sure enough, it was Don. He'd left the grounds by waiting til the gates opened for a car to enter. When he was brought back he didn't know his name, where he was, etc. Just said that he was trying to walk back to Illinois. We live in Florida. At that point it was strongly suggested that I think about placement, which happened two months later, during which time he was never never left alone.
Elaine-that must have been quiet a scare.So glad it turned out ok. hopefully Tom will wear the bracelet.Paul never pays any attention to his (on his ankle)
Yes Linda, that hopefully optimistic thing is in me too. I really thought the other day, as he was having a "good" day, is this REAL?? Can he really have Alzheimer's?
Then that night, I heard a commotion in the other room, he had taken a gourd art piece that was sitting in the living room, and was sitting down with it at 3 a.m. in the dark. All I could get out of him, was, "I have to do this, I have to do this gourd"
so so sad.
Also I need to get on this bracelet thing. He goes by himself to the restroom when I do my Saturday market, it is only a few minutes away...when will I learn?
I bought DH the safe return dog tags sponsored by the alz asso but one night he walked out of the house around midnight while I and the live-in aide were aspleep. Thank god it was summer (july) and that he hadn't gone far-in the neighborhood. I had no idea when he escaped and how long he was out in the neighborhood. It was then I called the sheriff's office to inquire about project lifesaver. In our county, the sheriff's office provides the gps bracelt at no cost to us. It is affixed to his ankle instead of his wrist (which he would remove). They keep a picture and a profile at the 911 center in our community and there is also a copy of his file and picture at the local police station. If he's missing, I call 911, tell them he's in the project lifsaver program and they will be here in minutes with the gps tracker which has a radius of 3miles or so. IF they cannot locate him, then they send a helicopter with gps and infared equipment to find him. I hope NEVER to experience this again (and I thought I had everything secured and alarmed when he escaped) but now I have a better feeling if he does escape again, he has the gps on him which can be tracked and he will be found within minutes.
The safe return bracelet/tags are helpful as well and I like the suggetions to take a picture with the cell phone so you can accurately show what they looked like when they left. And I've also learned the hard way they need to always be in front of you-DH can disappear in seconds!
LFL, I think our Sheriff’s department’s program is also called Project Lifesaver & it works pretty much the same, but I can’t tell you for sure because when I called I had to leave a message on someone’s voice mail & of course no one called me back. So tomorrow I will call again & if I am directed to someone’s voicemail I will call back and ask if I can actually TALK to someone. You know I wasn’t sure if we really need this, but after reading all of your responses I can see that he could easily get lost anywhere & after it happens the first time it can happen again. Thanks for all your responses.
Elaine, it can happen so quickly! I am relieved to hear everything turned out well... whew! We had safe return, project lifesaver was not available in our area. Lynn would not wear anything, he tore them right off! So I wore one saying I was his caregiver and what he had...just in case. And I was able to sneak a card in his wallet with all the vital information.
Elaine, just one more note-DH has actually ripped off the ankle bracelet with his hands (its plastic and very strong) twice. the sheriff tells me she's never had anyone rip it off with their hands, they usually cut them off, that's why the bracelet is on his dominant side (right) because he is not as good using scissors with his left hand.
marilyn, how creative of Steve. I tell Rich he's wearing the dog tags to make sure if something happens to me the EMS/police will know what's wrong with me and be able to treat me. So fa so good - he keeps the tags on. The gps is another matter.
I tell Paul his ankle bracelet is so he will always know where "I" am.And it works because he always wants to know where I am.We sure have to be creative with our words.
What a great idea, Phranque*. I had not thought of that and I will start to do that. As far as the bracelet goes. as soon as we got the DX I got the bracelets and DH wears it faithfull on the loop of his pants..won't wear a bracelet or dog tag..as long as he has it on...
Claude had a Medic Alert emblem (he had other health problems) on a chain around his neck for years. One day he took it off and it disappeared. I bought their bracelet and put it on his right wrist. He was right handed and couldn't get it off. He would ask what it was and I just told him an ID bracelet. That answer satisfied him.
LFL--Steve was a great confabulator (making things up that one believes is true). In this case, the confabulation actually made things easier for me--one less battle to wage!
Thanks for all the good ideas. Mimi, I actually thought about using the belt loop if he didn’t want to wear it. I’m going to call the police department again & if I get directed to someone’s voice mail I’m going to hang up & call back & dial the Sheriff’s extension (on their website they have a direct number & extension to the sheriff.) We are acquainted with the sheriff through a community service club we belong to & he knows that Tom has AZ. Even if I get his voice mail I’m pretty sure that if I identify myself & the problem I bet I get a call back! (Sometimes you just go to the top of the chain of command to get results!)
Here’s my update on Project Lifesaver. Last Thursday I made the first call to the police station & talked to a voicemail. Friday I called & was given the same voicemail so I hung up & called the Sheriff’s direct extension hoping to get his voicemail, but no some lady answered. I told her that I was interested in the Project Lifesaver Program, but I was only connected to voicemails & no one called me back. She told me that she would connect me to the officer in charge of the program. After about 5 minutes an officer came on the line & had no idea why I was calling so I had to explain it again. He said that he would take my information & have the officer in charge call me (yeah, right!) You guessed it, no one called. I didn’t expect to hear from anyone over the weekend, and if I didn’t hear anything by 10 this morning I was calling back. So at 10 I called back & asked to speak to the officer in charge. He wasn’t in would I like his voicemail? NO! I hung up & I called the Sheriff’s cell phone (it was actually listed on the website. Now I knew that I would get his voicemail, but that was fine with me. Sure enough I got his voicemail & I identified myself & told him that I was interested in the program but I couldn’t get anyone to call me back & I left my cell phone #. Less than an hour later my cell phone rang & it was a # I didn’t recognize. I answered it & it was the Sheriff himself. We had a really nice chat & he said that he was sorry that no one got back to me. I said that I didn’t know if he remembered us from the community service project we saw him at & he told me that he definitely remembered us & that when I flashed the Alzheimer card he said that he was taken aback & felt so bad for us. He then went on to say some really nice things about DH & if I wasn’t in the middle of a drugstore I probably would have cried. He told me that he would have the officer in charge call me & sure enough 20 minutes later I received that call & he will be coming to the house on Wednesday. Like I said before, sometimes you have to go to the top to get action! (sorry this is so long, but it felt good to write it all out!)
I enrolled Gord in our Safely Home project. I didn't think he would wear the bracelet and thought his Medical Alert bracelet would suffice. One of the times he got lost, one of the police officers suggested I put the bracelet on him while they were with us. I did that and he never questioned it or took it off. It saved him months later when he somehow managed to ride a bus and a subway downtown by himself.
ElaineH, I don't know anything about the Project Lifesaver Program, but I do have an EMFinder / EmSeeker Bracelet for Kathryn to wear. The way it works is if your loved one becomes separated from you call 911 and get a code from them then call the 800 number for EMFinder and they do something and it makes the EMFinder call that 911 and tell them where it is and they send a police officer to the location.
Recently Kathryn was able to leave our Hotel room at 1:00am. Fortunately an alert Hotel clerk asked Kathryn if he could help her and realized something wasn't right. When Kathryn couldn't tell him her name or my name or what room she was in he called 911 who sent medics and the police. The medic saw the EMFinder and called the 800 number on the band and they were able to give him Kathryn's information and they were able to locate my room.
They email you if the EMFinder has low power and call you if it loses power to make sure there is nothing wrong with it. Here is the website if you want to take a look at it.
http://www.emfinders.com/how-it-works
What is the typical emergency activation and recovery process? 1. Caregiver calls 911 to file a missing persons report. 2. 911 operator takes relevant information, creates missing person file and provides a call for service or case number to the caregiver. 3. A registered caregiver calls the EmFinders Operations Center (EOC) to request device activation by providing a police call for service or case number. 4. EmFinders: o a. verifies caregiver identity, o b. notifies the 911 Dispatch Center associated with the address of the missing person of the impending call (i.e., the center most likely to receive the 911 call) and o c. remotely activates the device. o NOTE: In order to manage battery-life, the device will check for an activation command on a thirty minute cycle, so the average wait time is 15-20 minutes. 5. Once activated, the device: o a. reports its location to the nearest 911 Dispatch Center, o b. transmits an audio message to the 911 operator explaining the nature of the emergency, and o c. provides the phone number of the EOC. 6. EmFinders analyzes the Cell ID associated with the 911 call from the device to confirm that the 911 Dispatch Center contacted by the device is the one that received advance notice. If not, EmFinders will initiate contact with the appropriate 911 Dispatch Center to ensure a two-way communication line is established with the EOC. 7. 911 Dispatch Center dispatches a police officer (or other emergency responder) to the location reported by the device and if not already in contact with the EOC, may contact the EOC for additional information regarding the missing person. This information will include: o a. the jurisdiction in which the missing person was reported (if different than that receiving the 911 call from the device), o b. the identity and physical description of the missing person, o c. known medical conditions, and o d. caregiver contact information. 8. 911 operators can rebid and provide an updated location to police as required. 9. Police assist in reuniting the missing person with the caregiver (or, if necessary, securing emergency medical treatment). 10. 911 Dispatch Center, police or caregiver instructs EmFinders Operations Center to cancel alert (deactivate device).
Jim, thanks for the information. It gives me some questions I can ask the officer when he comes tomorrow. The service is free so the price is right, but not if it isn't effective out of our county. I'll let you know. Thanks again!
Good for you Elaine! I'm surprised you had such difficulty getting in touch with the person in charge of the Project Lifesaver project. DH has finally accepted the gps on his ankle (after ripping it off twice)...I bought a slap watch last summer (watch on a plastic band with no buckle, just fits on your wrist) and found DH putting it on the ankle without the gps bracelet on it. Apparently he seemed to think he needed 2 gps'.
There's approx a 3 mile radius in which the project lifesaver gps is effective. If the person goes out of that radius the sheriff's department notifies neighboring police departments, many of which also participate in the program. I was advised that shold we travel to a different location and DH got lost, to notify the local police and advise them DH is in the pl program. Or if we knew our destination in advance the sheriff's deputy in charge of the program would check in advance to see if the local sheriff's dept participated in the pl program and let them know we would be in their area. They have always been VERY helpful and concerned.
My dh had a safe return bracelet. I was surprised to learn (a different times & events) that a police officer, ems person and hospital ER nurse DID NOT LOOK at the bracelet. On each occasion I was told, "Oh, thought he was diabetic." I educated each person and they thanked me and they were a bit more understanding. One can only hope they shared the info with their colleagues.