I put a notice up on the home page - blogs are on the back burner for a few more days until I get a breather here. This caregiving gig just keeps on giving. Thursday, I took Sid to the foot doctor - he now has a diabetic wound that requires daily washing and dressing - by me. Oh yeah, and staying off of his foot. I'm on wheelchair duty. Oh yeah, and I'm back to waiting on him 24/7.
So today, I dropped him off to his dominoes game, with the intention of picking him up early for a follow up foot doctor apt. In between, I figured I should visit my father, whom I haven't seen in a week ( and he only lives at the ALF next door, but I've been too busy to go over there). So, I walk into his room, and he's sitting in his chair like I wasn't there. Even after I yelled - "Hi Daddy!" When I stood in front of him, he pointed to his ear, and took out his hearing aid. Dead as a doornail. (Yes, I changed the batteries). Long story, but it's very old, and he needs a replacement. He lost his other one months ago. I immediately called the ENT, who has the audiologist in his office. Sorry. Can't fit him in for a month. So I need to make an apt. with a hearing aid place ASAP.
Off to pick up Sid for his doctor apt. Part of it is healing. The other part is infected. I told the doctor I'm frazzled, exhausted, and I can't do anymore. He called in Home Health to handle the wound. Dropped Sid home. Went to pick up script for anti-biotic. Love Publix's free antibiotic program.
So I'm a little overwhelmed and haven't had time to write blogs or anything else except tend to Sid and everything that needs doing in the house.
My friend (also an Alzheimer spouse) and I have hatched a plan to run away from home. (Just kidding) (Kind of)
If it didn't sound so terrible, we all probably could say, we will do OK without you. Well...we really wouldn't mean that like it sounds. We need you and want you. But, you are needed at home right now and we will make do just fine. We want you to take care of your dh and Dad and whatever else you have to do...and please get some rest yourself. You deserve some rest.
Although I do not have the resources to hire help, I do have a mouth, which I am using to say NO. NO, it is not necessary for me to try to get up an hour earlier, clean and dress Sid's wound, get him ready, fed, and medicated, just to bring him to a support group meeting ( in a wheelchair I have to lift in and out of the car)for an hour when he doesn't remember a thing that went on while he was attending it. Nor does he remember who any of the people are, except his best friend. He was unhappy when I told him he wasn't going, but he did tell me he understood how much I was doing.
Unless it's absolutely necessary, the answer is NO. After Sid is settled today, the #1 priority is to find a place to get my father a hearing aide.
Fantasy.....Joan, as Sid is getting excellent care, a car whisks you to the airport and flies you off to a tropical bungalow where the waves lap on shore, and the lava heated pure hot pond soaks away your aches and pains. The resident sea turtle of the pond floats by you and gives you a knowing look, while munching on seaweed.
You relax on the upper deck viewing the blue Pacific, after a morning's spectacular sunrise. Fresh pineapple and coconut waffles with Passion fruit syrup grace your table. The clak clak of the rustling palms soothe away your sadness and you feel a peace that is rare and pure and real.
You know that Sid is happy that you are there, he comes to you in a dream and says, "It is ok honey, take care of yourself now"
And in the next bungalows, we caregivers wait for you to call us to order, for our champagne and laughter and healing.
(there is a place like this, google the "Champagne Pond" in Hawaii, the Big Island"}
Oh, Coco, how fabulous that sounds. But you know what, it's not really a fantasy. Back in the good old days, when Sid was healthy, we both had good jobs, and we had money, our son lived on Oahu for 3 years. We went every summer he was living there. One summer, we stayed at the J.W. Marriott Resort and Spa. We had a view of the hotel's star fish pond and the mountains. Guests were allowed to wade in the pond and pick up the starfish. Every day at 4 PM, the doorbell to our room ( no knocking on doors at this hotel), and the maid brought fresh ice. Snorkeling, sightseeing, dinners. The hotel was on a private lagoon. Swimming was warm and calm, with a view of a Chapel across the way, where we got to see weddings every afternoon, and doves released into the sky for good luck. It was fabulous, and at that time, I was with my honey. Good memories.
We also visited Kuai (sp?) and Maui. Never made it to the Big Island.
Right about now, I'd take a padded cell for myself. But I have things under control. Nurse is coming this afternoon for Sid; I'll take him to DC in his wheelchair tomorrow, and after I drop him off, I'll pick up my father and take him to our apt. at the hearing aide place. Then when that's finished, I'll take him back to the ALF, and go pick up Sid.
OH COCO---TAKE ME AWAY NOW. Sounds so wonderful-i can only imagine. I would love to visit your wonderful Island... I have told my dh about where you live and the items that you make and sell. He said lets go visit her I want to try her coconut candy.I tried to explain we can not just get in a car and come to you!! Oh how I wish we could- maybe my dh and your dh could just sit in the shade while you and I have a nice visit.(just dreaming )
Dear Joan Even though I would not want history to repeat itself right now I would give just about anything to be able to reach out and at least touch my spouse and know that she felt my touch. Sorry I know what your going thru but believe me the worst is yet to come. May God be with you. Bruce D *
thank you buedaze for your comment but sometimes I don't feel very sweet. I need to stop feeling this way but it just sneaks up and before you know it your ready to scream. sorry Bruce D
Hoping all goes well for you, Sid and your father. Glad to hear you will have some help with your ever increasing responsibilities....take care of yourself please, and keep us posted on how things are going.