What does everyone do if/when your DH gets aggressive? We had one incidence over the holidays and I just left and went over to my brother's and spent the night. Came home the next day to poop wiped all over the house. What is the course of action? Leave? Take him to the hospital? Call the police? I am not sure what the right thing to do the next time this happens is...
Shannon-sorry for the mess. In a calm time notify the police of your husband's condition. If you have to call them at a later time they will have a record. Keep a charged cell phone with you at all times. If possible create a safe place in your home if and when you have to call 911.
bluedaze*'s advice is exactly right. And, I would be hesitant to leave him alone all night. Possibility he could/would hurt himself or someone else??? Possibility of "someone" reporting you for negligence??? I'd call 911 and let them deal with it. So sorry about this, Shannon.
We have said since the beginning of Joan's place that pharmacology is our friend. The doctor can prescribe things to ease the agression in some cases (not all - but some). Bluedaze* and Vicki gave excellent advice. Do not delay in setting this up.
Thank you for your advice. I have been hesitant about the police as about 10 years ago we had an incident where I called the police and he ended up in jail for 2 days and was cited for domestic abuse. That is a good idea about notifying them about the situation first. He is on drugs to supposedly help, but they don't always work! :)
Shannon, my DH was aggressive, but before it escalated I got him on Seroquel. I also wondered what I would do if he became physical so I called the non-emergency phone number of our local police department & I explained the situation & asked what an officer would do if I called 911 if I feared for my life. The lady said that normally when an officer is informed that the person has Alzheimer’s they would transport him to the hospital for evaluation. She also told me that before that happened I could actually petition the district court to have him evaluated. I don’t remember the process by which they decide he needs to be evaluated, but when it is approved a policeman come to the house to pick him up & take him to the hospital. Like I said, we didn’t have to go that far, but at least I knew the process.
On Jan. 15th I called 911. The Police came at my request and took DH to the Hospital for medical evaluation. There was no fuss, TG, but he went. At the agreement of the Dr., Nurse, and Social Worker, I left him in their care, having signed the petition so they could, even if against his wishes (I am his Guardian) keep him. In 38 years this was only the 2nd time he'd ever shown aggression toward another person. Both times it was me. In my opinion we are extra vulnerable if our LO gets aggressive because we are always with them. Both times he became aggressive there were medical issues underlying his behavior. This 2nd time was more agressive than the time in 2005. Because of my own physical challenges, his shoving me back into my partially raise lift chair and then a fist in my face (no actual blow)was much more serious thn if he'd shoved an able bodied person. The fact that there have only been 2 instances in 38 years where he showed aggression toward a person(the other was a lesser event) and both were the result of his mental conditions, is indicative that he's losing the ability to control those actions, making him a danger to others. He's already been referred to as a danger to himself because of unsafe actions relating to getting and having cigarettes. That's why he had to be placed. It is no longer possible to provide a safe environment for either of us, at home. Not what I want, but what is.
Shannon, it is wise advice to call the local police IN ADVANCE so they understand what they're dealing with and will take him to the hospital. My experience in 2008 was horrible and not good for either of us given the fact that he has dementia. He hit me in the face and stalked me trying to do further harm and I had no other choice but to call 911. I advised them when I called that he has dementia and that it wasn't his fault but they came, put me on a domestic violence list and literally wrestled DH to the ground to arrest him (he resisted arrest) and instead of taking him the hospital, the police put him in jail for several hours and then took him to the hospital for a psych eval. Based on my experience I will never call 911 again.
When he attacked me and I finally had to fight back.... Choking to the point I was blacking out...so I protected myself and in the process knocked his glasses off, cutting his face. I called 911 and told them what was going on and he has AZ. So when the police got there they were going to charge "me" with elder abuse!!!...22 years difference in age.... and going to arrest me. I got removed from the home and he got left in my house! Now I have good drugs and any sign he is drugged.
It was indicated to me that had there been signs of injurious aggression, the Police would have taken DH to jail first. Since there were no inuries, they took him right to the hospital. That may be the difference in how cases are handled. IMHO, it's best all 'round to get meds aboard or fixed at first signs, and never wait for shoes to drop.