I was just reading on the Fisher site that language and communication skills were the last skills to go before your spouse slips into the final stage. Do you agree or not agree. Of course, I know losing language skills can take a long time. My dh has been having this problem for at least 6 months and it slowly is getting wrose.
Gord was losing his language skills for about the last year. When he was in the hospital, he seemed to lose them completely. His last words to me were the week before he died. He asked so clearly, " so, what are we going to do today?" It seemed to have escaped his notice that we were in a cubicle in an emergency room. As always, I used the line from Pinky and the Brain. Same as every other day Pinky...conquer the world. Poor Gord. I wish his last words had been something about loving .
Not necessarily. Everyone progresses differently. And it also depends on whether you mean receptive or expressive language skills. My husband's receptive skills (what he understands and can process) were the first to go. Everyone on this site has discussed how difficult it is to get their spouse to understand information unless it is presented in simple terms in short, simple sentences. On the other hand, my husband can still express himself quite well on a concrete level. He intermittently uses the wrong word, but not often.
For more on language, log onto the home page - www.thealzheimerspouse.com - and look on the left side. Click on the box with the elephant picture that says "Communication Techniques and Memory Tips".
Jang...those words are wonderful...he was telling you he stilled loved you and wanted to be with you...and they also meant he had no fear of it being his last day with you. Of course, we would all hope for the last words to be "I love you"...but, I think Gord's words have so much meaning and should give you such comfort.
I'm not sure what the final stage means here. If it is stage 7, according to the Alzheimer's Association, it has been part of my husband's journey. He has not been able to communicate with people for 2 years now. You have to anticipate his needs. 2 years after entering stage 7' he is not able to walk now. He cannot balance and will fall. His wheel chair is on order now. Every once in awhile he will say something clear as day and totally surprises me. I don't know how long this journey will be but I do know for my husband, he lost his communication skills starting in stage 6 and finally in stage 7.
My heart goes out to you. It must be so difficult. I hate this condition. Not because of me, but because where did my fun loving, dancing, talking man go? It is like living with a stranger most days. I really don't know how much longer I can hang on....been a bad week.
my DH lost his communication at the beginning of stage 7. now hes mid-late stage 7C and out of th blue will say something clear as a bell. it makes you wonder if they understand but cant form the words to say what they mean. it knocks me for a loop when it happens.
I disagree. My uncle lost his communication skills early on. At first it was thought it was due to stroke but testing proved it was not stroke. He was able to golf, read, enjoy tv..and he understood what he was being told but when he wanted to reply he could not draw up the right word at time.
Isn't that strange. Like they say...If you've seen...well you know the rest of the story.
The one thing I know for sure, my dh isn't "early on". He is very mobile, but couldn't play golf, read or understand TV. In fact, it was when he was able to play golf, which he loved, was where I first noticed the signs that he probably had a problem. He couldn't keep the score right and never knew where his ball went or which way he needed to go to the next hole. We really enjoyed our golf games together. Lots of good times and great friends.
My husband has FTD. He is still able to toilet on his own, dress, feed himself, and just needs direction for showering. He speaks very little and when he does it is not conversational. He makes statements which usually don't make sense. I know he has trouble processing language as it takes a few times to get things across to him sometimes.
JudithKB, There appears to be several forms of Alzheimer's so I am not sure what stage language and communication skills normally falls into. I have been to the Fisher Site and was concerned about it because Kathryn's language and communication skills have declined so dramatically over the last months.
I asked Kathryn's neurologist if she could write something to assist me in explaining Kathryn's condition and prognosis for her father. I did not ask about stages. below is what she wrote regarding Kathryn's condition and her professional opinion about her prognosis. I hope this helps you.
"As you know, She has a diagnosis of Alzheimer's Disease. This condition is due to abnormal proteins building up in the cells of her brain, leading to cell death and cognitive decline. I suspect she has a particular sub-type of Alzheimer's Disease that predominantly interferes with her speech/language and her ability to communicate. This sub-type tends to progress more rapidly than what is expected for more traditional Alzheimer's Disease. It may also appear to progress more rapidly because of the significant interference with the patient's ability to communicate.
She requires 24 hour care not only for her safety, but also to assure she has taken her medications, eats, toilets, bathes, dresses, etc. These needs are being met in the home between your care and the care that you have arranged for while you at work.
Her condition will continue to decline. We are currently seeing significant changes every 3-4 months. She will have more and more difficulty communicating, which will become increasingly frustrating for her. She will require more help with bathing, dressing, eating, etc. She may develop more difficulty with swallowing. I do not anticipate a problem with ambulating. However, if this occurs, she will likely require skilled nursing care for bathing, turning, changing, medication administration, etc. This would be provided in a nursing home environment".
As of today there is very little Kathryn can do with out assistance. When I was asked what she is able to do by herself I could only come up with two things. Eat once I had made the food and cut up anything needing to be cut and walk in circles around the living room. She no longer enjoys much of anything. Things she used to love no longer exist for her. She can look right at something that used to excite her and not even know what it is now.
Today even a one step instruction must be repeated several times in order for her to complete it. Something as simple as being ask to sit in a chair requires me to lead her to the chair and position her correctly to the chair so she will not miss it and then tell her again to sit down in the chair a few more times before she can do it.
At what stage her speech/language and her ability to communicate started to be affected is hard to say because she has three degrees and was able to compensate for it so well for so long. I think what stage each of our spouses start having problems is different for each because each of our spouses have different educational levels and life experiences and these affect how quickly and maybe even what stage different things appear during the course of their individual journey thru the stages.
Thank you so much for your post Anchor. This could have been written about my dh except he isn't quite as bad right now. But, I have noticed this communication problem probably for the past six months and getting worse every month. He never talks if we have company and I know it is because he is aware that he doesn't make much sense most of the time when he talks. Also, he is having problems with sight and knowing what he is seeing and just the past several weeks his hearing is getting bad. I have to say his name several times even to get his attention and then usually all I get is a blank look. I try and keep my sentences short.
Could you tell me how old she is and when she was dx? My dh will be 65 next month and was dx 2007, but I knew something was wrong at least a year before that. I take him to see his neuro today and I know he will see a decline from our last visit 3 months ago.
My dh is the same way with instructions and can do little without me being right there and telling him every move to make. The other day I needed a desk moved and needed his help. I had to keep telling him which directiion to go to get it in the room I wanted it in. He couldn't understand how to go through the door and into the other room. He can still walk, but much slower. He sleeps between 16 to 18 hours everyday.
Thank you so much for your post....Your post is the so much like the problems I am having with my dh.
Joang Thank you for directing me to the info on your main page. I certainly will take advantage of the some of the things you have suggested. Thank you for all you do for all of us....with what you have on your own plate you are a very special person to give us this site and your help.
thanks Jim from me too. Your Kathryn sounds so much like my man. (though further along) And JudithKB, from the very beginning when I joined this site, I saw so much the same with your dh. Although the part where you say his name and he does not respond, sounds very awful and my guy is not there yet, he knows to answer.
I guess he is in stage 5 and a half...he cannot in any way carry on a regular conversation. Last night he asked for the tv clicker and called it a beer. (I laughed with him, my new thing and he laughed too, that silly little disturbing laugh that is new)
He fakes it with people, generally just saying yes and no. the other day, someone said, oh he is the eldest of 6 kids. Umm..no..he is the middle of five kids.
on and on.
JudithKB I hope you are feeling a bit better today, I have noted your sadness and frustration level lately. Hugs and sunshine coming your way.
Kathryn was diagnosed on Sept 30 2008. She just turned 60 years old. If you to see it I made a discussion on here that I listed the different problems she has had during the time she was diagnosed and the middle of last year.
Back from visit with the Neuro...Not good news. He told me I need to start looking for a placement. I could tell he was kind of surprised how down hill my dh has gone in the past three months. He couldn't even get Dh to talk to him. I think I am beginning to believe what I read on the Fisher site about the speech going as one of the last things to go before the really, really bad stuff starts.
The dr. seemed very concrned about the jerking (seizures) he is having at night because with the last change in meds and adding a new one and the seizures are still getting worse. I have to take him back next thursday and they are going to put a monitor on him that he will wear at night to see what it says.
It is so amazing to me how he can have all this bad stuff happening and yet he is mobile and only recently has started to not look too good.
On a lighter side of things. I took him out to lunch. We order and just sitting their waiting for our food and he says...."I don't know what I am going to order for lunch"....Makes one not know whether to laugh or cry.
I am sorry your husband is doing so poorly. He sounds to be about the as Kathryn but he may be able to communicate a little better. Kathryn can only get out a few words at the most now. I hear many on here talk about their LO having seizures. I have been lucky in that way. Kathryn has not had any physical issues other than walking and I have a Physical therapist come in every few months or so to help her regain some of her walking ability until next time.
I also still take her out to eat. She can not make the simplest decision any more so I do have to order for her and cut up whatever needs to be cut. I also have to watch to make sure what she does with each utensil. She will try to eat a roll with a straw if I don't help when she needs it.
I hope you get good news when they run the test on your husband. I will be praying that what ever they find they can help him deal with it.
Thank for your comments. My dh's name is Jim also. I read your post where you listed the 28 items where your wife was having problems. My dh has most all of those except no problems yet with the toilet. He can dress himself but I have to lay out the clothes. I don't have to cut his food yet. He likes to go out and eat too.
It is just so heart breaking condition. It seems like the younger they are the faster the go down hill. My dh also has a bad heart and COPD.
My wife has been in late stage 6 for over a year. She needs almost total care - dressing, toileting, etc. She can feed herself if I cut up the food and "prime the pump" by putting a forkful of food in her mouth. She walks, but slowly and with a shuffle most of the time. With regard to communication, she still talks a lot, but it makes no sense. Sometimes the words just don't seem to go together, sometimes what comes out is just sound, not a word. Occasionally she does make some sense. When we are at dinner with other residents of our Inn she usually just sits quietly, but every once in a while she will turn to one of the other residents and deliver a long comment about something. It makes no sense. Fortunately, most of the other residents are aware of her condition, so just look at her and nod or say something like "that's interesting".
Judith, is your husband having seizures or myoclonic jerks? They did an EEG on Gord when he was in the hospital but although the brain waves were slower due to the disease, there were no seizures. The constant jerks made the EEG more difficult. Anchor, your wife sounds so much like Gord. I couldn't make him sit at times. I would show him over and over but would have to be ready to make sure that he sat on the chair and not on the floor when he finally realized what I was asking him to do. He would say great long sentences of disjointed words. I became adept at using replies such as, "really?'," I did not know that." or any number of replies that I hoped would fit with what he thought he was saying. Lord, I miss him.
Jang: He had an EEG maybe 3 years ago and the neuro we had at that time called them seizures. We moved and then the new neuro we have did another EEG about 6 mos ago and it didn't show anything. He said it was not unusual to have the EEG not show anything and that is why he is wanting to do the monitor that he will wear to bed because that is when he has them. They are getting much worse.
At first I would have called them twitching...but now, they are full blown JERKS. He had one real bad one about a month ago and the only way I know how to discribe it is that it felt to me like he his body jerked so hard it lifted up off the bed and back down. It woke me up and I was scared to death. He has now started moaning and making weird grunting sounds at night. He does a lot of just staring with a blank look on his face and I can walk right in front of him and his eyes don't move. The neuro refers to those as silent seizures.
Hi Judith, yes, they do sound like seizures with the staring part. I have a nephew who was doing that. Gord's were real jerks. He would jump so hard in the night that it was difficult for me to sleep. With that and the snoring, nights were difficult. His jerks were so bad at times, he would be bringing a glass to his mouth and then a jerk would come and he would send the liquid flying in his face. They were almost constant when they stopped the ativan without titrating it down.