I think of all the good times my LO an I had,for 12 short years life was perfect,an then Alzheimers struck,now as we get toward the end I think of all the things I wish I had done,I wish I had hugged her more an told her how much I loved her,I wish I had told her how beautiful she was everyday,I wish I had kissed her more for no reason other than the fact I loved her an felt like I was the luckest guy on earth when she said "I do" for ones that have already been down this path you know what I mean,for the ones just starting down this terrible bumpy road,I can only say don't do what I did an wait too long,you never get a second chance
ol don...this touched my heart. we do what we can, you have done a great job, it's heartbreaking to see our LO's go down this path. Keep those beautiful memories in your heart..
Old DOn- You still have the opportunity to hug her, kiss her, tell her all the feelings that are in your heart, so I suggest you make it your mission to compensate for the times when you will no longer be able to do it. I also wish I could have understood AD better, and taken more opportunities to tell her how beautiful she looked, how much I loved her, and tell her how lucky I was. When I look at her pictures, I realize more than ever that she was absolutely beautiful, and she was so special to me. I wish I had felt that way when I was dealing with incontinence, sundowning, and all the other eoad symptoms. I no longer have the opportunity and I have yet to hear a man say that he wished that he had not told his wife so often that he loved her. My heart is with you OldDon, and take some extra moments to give her a hug in my behalf.
OL Don, take a deep breath and pat your self on the back. You have been a knight to your lovely wife. It is only natural to think that we do not do enough. She is very blessed to have loved you and have you to love her and walk with her hand in hand in this remarkable journey we call life and now in the journey we call physical death. You ARE the luckiest man on earth and she is the luckiest woman on earth. I hope that God grants both of you peace and grants her a peaceful and quiet passing. You are a remarkable man.
Thanks Phranque,hope your doing well,seems I'm traveling the same road you traveled an the destination is the same,hope I can handle it with as much class as you did
Finally moved LO to local hospice wednesday,she got upset in ambulance(70mile ride) so they gave her something to calm her down,I would have thought they would have done that before they moved her,anyway after she was admitted,they called from ALF an told me ambulance crew forgot her meds an clothes so I had to drive 140 miles round trip to pick up the things they forgot,when she was first transferred from hospital to ALF a year an half ago the same company lost all her clothes,what a bunch of clowns,the only good thing.she is now less than five miles from home,hospice gave me a little booklet called "Gone from my Sight" it explains what happens as the body slows down,for the ones that have gone thru this it matters little now but for the ones just starting to deal with it,it might be good to read,thanks to all for all the support
ol don it is so good that your dear wife will be so close to your house. The long drives I had to take were so hard. It is difficult to see with tears in your eyes.
Phranque*, You have just said out loud what I was thinking just yesterday..you know what I mean, all during this dang disease, and as it progresses, I find I get so tired, frustrated not at DH but with the kids and others who are just so into not paying attention to him anymore...and then with the chores of dealing with this, I find I don't feel the same toward him as I did when life was good..and I ask myself, do I really love him less? I would say the answer to that is no I don't love him less..it is just that with all the work the feelings of that sort of special love, the Valentine's Day kind of love has been lost to the love that just has to be there somewhere that makes us soldier on in the face of it all and trying to find ways to keep our LO at home not just for the financial reasons either.. Just yesterday at the Neuor's office, when he was telling me the stage estimate, ( 4 to5), I told the doc, that really DH is pretty easy going, good humor, doesn't try driving, doesn't get into things he shouldn't ( at least so far) and has his interests in his scrap books etc and pictures of his military days...happy most of the time...and I said that 35 years ago, if I knew this was in the stack of cards I would still have said " I do"..that the mold was broken when God blessed the world with my Avi8tor spouse who flew 407 combat missions ( fixed wing). I miss the man he was but wouldn't give up the man he still is...( I just wish sometimes he wasn't so stubborn).
Mimi- I had to learn the hard way to separate my love of my dw with my hatred for alz. Sometimes the two get intermingled, and you start hating the person you love the most. There were times when I absolutely hated my dw for her crazy antics, and it took me too long to realize that there was a big difference between our love and alz.....It takes a lot of concentration to remember the love when you are faced with all the hatred..
Ol' Don, it will surely be easier for you not to have that long drive. But I'm sorry that you are faced with her rapid decline. Now's the time to make everything as easy on yourself as you can - good food, enough sleep, and whatever relaxes you in between the many demands you'll face. Sending you my best.
Well LO was placed tuesday afternoon,I got there about 4 an oldest daugther was feeding her,when I walked in her face lit up an she kissed me rubbed my cheek an told me how much she loved me,went back wed an her eyes were closed for the next six days,I've been sleeping in a recliner next to her bed so I could hold her hand an this morning I left after daughter got there to come home to let the dog out,about ten minutes later daugther called an said to hurry back LO was waiting for me,she had her eyes half open an reached out to hold my hand an then slowly drifted off to a better place,we all know its coming but that doesn't stop the tears,thanks for all the support from everyone here,God Bless
Oh old don*, I am so sorry for you loss, oh the tears for someone I do not know, but love. How wonderful you were there. May God bless you with His presence in this time and always.
The light of life is a finite flame. In light we see, in light we are seen. The flames dance and our lives are full. But as night follows day, the candle of our life burns down.There is an end to the flames. We see no more and are no more seen. Yet we do not despair, for we are more than a memory slowly fading into the darkness. With our lives we give life. Something of us can never die: we move in the eternal cycle of darkness and death, of light and life. I am so sorry for your loss.
Bluedaze*, that is beautiful. ol don*, I'm so sorry, ... and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I know exactly where you are right now, and can only assure you - with gentle confidence - that it will gradually get better. Take care of yourself. You're job is done, and you shall be rewarded in the hereafter for being such a good and loving husband. Her last gesture was her way of saying "Thank You."
ol don*, I am so very sorry. You have fought the good fight - now it's over and she is at peace. May you find your own peace. I pray for your strength and comfort in the days ahead.
ol don*, it is so hard to lose them, even with AD. I am glad for you that she waited for you to get back to her to say goodbye and that she still knew you. My thoughts and prayers are with you, as you go through these next days, weeks and months. It isn't easy, and hopefully you will gain strength to get you through this. ((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))
Old Don*- I grieve for your loss, but marvel at your devotion to your sweet dear wife. Please accept my deepest sympathy, but rejoice that your dw and my dw are now together in perfect peace and in the presence of the Lord. I pray for peace for you, and know that the journey facing you will be filled with great memories, moments of grief, and the knowledge that you did everything possible. Hugs my dear friend.........
ol don*, I cry tears of sadness for you, but as others have said, now she is at peace. She waited for you to come & say goodbye. Now she is an angel watching over you. My thoughts & prayers are with you.
heartfelt condolences ol don*. You were truly a devoted husband. May you find comfort in knowing that she is whole again, and her suffering is over. Keeping you close in my heart.....
ol don---you did well. As the Commander in her army you pulled in the troops when you needed to, and saw her through. She is now safe and whole, watching over you and living on in the hearts and minds of those she loved and who loved her. May you now be wrapped in Peace as you and your family say goodbye.
ol don, what a devoted husband you were with your beloved wife. yes you became her loving caregiver but you were always her beloved and devoted husband. She knew how special you were to the end. I wish you peace in the future.
What a special memory to have - her waiting for you to arrive so she could drift off to a new world with you holding her hand. Prayers for you and your family for the hours, days and weeks to come.
I am so sorry for your loss. How comforting that you were able to get back to her for her final goodbye on this earth. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences for all of us who have yet to enter the hardest and most painful stages.
I am so sorry for your loss, Ol Don. Your sweet wife is gone from her body, but present with the Lord. May God grant you peace and strength in the coming days.