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    • CommentAuthor64ponycar
    • CommentTimeJul 11th 2008 edited
     
    To be brief, My husband does not have AD. However, He takes medication for his mental illness that affects his memory like AD. Also some aspects of his disease mimic AD. I am so sad. Our relationship's disintegrating day by day. I've read some of the first pages here and I am amazed how closely his symptoms and our problems mirror AD. I'm 44 and he is 36 - 2cnd marriage for both of us yet he's already not the man I married. I have been thrust into the roll of care-giver at a time when my children are nearly grown. I feel so very isolated and alone and SAD.
    Is anybody out there?
    • CommentAuthorRae Ann
    • CommentTimeJul 11th 2008
     
    I'm fairly new to this group, but yes there are people here that will lend and ear and even suggestions. Your LO is very young, my husband has Early On Set Alzheimers and hes 54. We are suppose to be in the prime of our lives, waiting to retire and do all the things retired people do, but that isn't going to happen with us. I'm 51, trying now to figure out how to care for him and still work as we need the income. I wish I could cry, but can't, don't want to upset my husband.
    Keep your chin up, someone on the group will be along shortly to answer any questions you may have on how to deal with this journey. Just remember, you are not alone.
    Rae
    • CommentAuthor64ponycar
    • CommentTimeJul 11th 2008 edited
     
    Rae,
    Thanks for the words of encouragment. I'm afraid the time we have already spent together has been "our" prime i'm sorry, I have to go. Someone needs something as usual.

    Bev
    • CommentAuthordivvi*
    • CommentTimeJul 11th 2008
     
    Bev, you say your DH has mental illness and it mimicks AD due to the medicines. how can you be sure its the meds doing this and not one of the dementias that can accompany other diseases? i think there may be a fine line between some diseases that mimic symptoms. i am so sorry you are going thru this pain and esp your DH is so young to have such a terrible disease. its never easy any mental illness be it AD or some other. hope you find some solice here with input from others as well. divvi
  1.  
    64ponycar ~

    I can identify with what you are saying and feeling. We are a little bit older but have only been married for five years. It was 3 years ago that I knew something was not going right. We had these wonderful plans to grow old together . . . the sad part is that there is no US anymore. There is just me and this adult sized 3 year old.

    Regardless of the name placed on your husband's illness, the symptoms are about the same. We are all dealing with the same monster. Wouldn't it be nice if we could all get together and just hold each other and cry?

    Consider yourself hugged. Hang in there. We are all with you.
    •  
      CommentAuthorStarling*
    • CommentTimeJul 11th 2008
     
    Have a [[[[[HUG]]]]]. Sometimes all of us need hugs.

    It doesn't seem to matter why our LOs have dementia. The results are pretty much the same. And one of the big reasons all of us are here is that our relationships have changed so much we can't recognize them.
    • CommentAuthorSunshyne
    • CommentTimeJul 11th 2008
     
    Bev, there are lots of us out here ... maybe off doing the things that need doing right now (isn't that always the way it goes!), but people will be dropping by when they can. I would have checked in earlier, but my car picked up a nail in a tire. Naturally, the closest repair place was absolutely swamped... sitting around twiddling my thumbs for hours is not my favorite thing.

    I am so sorry you're having such problems, and when the two of you are so young, too. Do you mind telling us what type of problem your husband has? My childhood sweetheart began to develop bipolar disorder and schizophrenia in his late 30's, so very sad. He had been quite brilliant, but has been totally disabled for twenty years now, and from what he has said, spends most days in a fog. He wrote to me out of the blue, after thirty years of no contact, because he needed someone to "talk to." I gather he'd married and divorced twice, and now spends his days alone in a small apartment, playing computer games when the meds have things under control. Today was a good day, and he sent a long, chatty email. I've written back, but who knows if he'll be able to read it by the time he gets it. I know almost nothing about his illness, and so am never quite sure what I should or should not say.

    So many people with such sad problems.
    • CommentAuthorKadee*
    • CommentTimeJul 11th 2008
     
    Sending ((((Hugs))) I am sorry you are going through this at such a young age. As I have said before, We are all in the same boat, just with different paddles.
    •  
      CommentAuthorStarling*
    • CommentTimeJul 11th 2008
     
    Kadee, you have a paddle??? No one issued me a paddle! How come I don't have a paddle?????

    <giggle>
  2.  
    Bev, we are with you - thinking of you and sending peace to you.
    • CommentAuthortrisinger
    • CommentTimeJul 11th 2008
     
    Hang in there...

    There is a 24 hour Alz number where a live person can talk to you. (I doubt they'd hang up on you just because you didn't have an actual diagnosis!) Anyway, I called them one night when I was low and overwhelmed. They couldn't offer a lot that I didn't already know, but it sure was nice to hear a sympathetic voice right there and then.

    1.800.272.3900
    •  
      CommentAuthorStarling*
    • CommentTimeJul 11th 2008
     
    They are wonderful. I've called them after my husband went to bed, and early in the morning, and when I thought he was lost (he actually came home while I was on the phone with them). They are wonderful. And you don't need a diagnosis.

    By the way, they also give out packets full of information for free. And it is possible that they know all about your husband's situation and can point you in the right direction for information about it.
    • CommentAuthorKadee*
    • CommentTimeJul 12th 2008
     
    Starling, You wouldn't want my paddle, it has holes in it. Kadee
    •  
      CommentAuthorStarling*
    • CommentTimeJul 12th 2008
     
    Nope, don't want your paddle, just want my own. Thankyouverymuch!! <grin>

    I think mine got eaten by a monster. There was nothing left but the holes. But there is this strange thing in the boat that is paddle shaped. Made out of some kind of mesh, but it seems to be developing areas where it is solid. I think that this forum is growing something new.
  3.  
    Starling-I've always called AD the monster, too.
    • CommentAuthorjav*
    • CommentTimeJul 12th 2008
     
    so sorry to hear you are going throught this,and so young. this disease is rough on young and old. my dh has eoad. we are both 52. this is the worst thing i have ever been through. i just keeps coming,but you are not alone.we are all going through this terrible journey along with our loved ones ,and this is not a journey anyone wants to take,we have no choice in the matter. this group has helped me tremendously. they are wonderful! may god bless you and give you strength. jav
  4.  
    Have you asked for a second opinion from another Neuro? Being so young I think it important to do so. The first 2 years
    my husband went to Cleveland Clinic and they told him he did not have AD. Now 6 yrs. later his Neuro and WVU Hospital says he has both AD and Vascular Dementia with Parkenism. I still don't think he has AD but he does have dementia of some sort. Our MD started him on Aricept and Namenda after the Cleveland non-diag. because he knew he had some kind of dementia and said it wouldn't hurt to try it. He has been on the two for several years now and has missed a Namenda for a few days a couple times and he really goes bonkers. Complete confusion for a few days until he is back on again. Best of luck. Lois
    • CommentAuthorMya
    • CommentTimeAug 2nd 2008
     
    My husband was not diagnosed w/dementia right away. What meds is your husband on and have you requested a second opinion? Did he have any tests? Hang in there and keep coming to this site.

    hugs,
    mya