This is my day to explode. Trying to remain calm just isn't working. From most of the reading that I have done it seems that most of you probably have trouble getting your LO to eat enough. What about that small percentage of them (including my husband) that wants to eat non stop? I truly mean eating ALL the time. It doesn't matter how large or nice the meals are, he still heads right back to the kitchen to continue eating. Not to mention that I schedule in morning and afternoon snacks as well. I have had to put locks on a couple of the cabinet doors to put away the foods that would be the most dangerous. He has heart conditions and is on several restrictions. When he can't get to enough to keep up the 24/7 eating, he will just dip his hand in the cat food bowl and much away. I have spoken to a social worker about this and she said that I have to learn to "let it go" and that it won't hurt him. That just seems so wrong.
Thanks for letting me vent. This has been going on all day and I am having a very hard time "letting it go".
Gretchen-I have read that excessive eating is a problem with some AD pts. They forget they have just eaten and their brain can't give them the full signal. Can you keep a supply of healthy snacks that he can eat without making you crazy? Otherwise I think I would just let him munch away on anything other than kitty kibble. Perhaps if you offer him something to drink when he feels like eating it may help him slow down on the munching, not talking alcohol here something more in the line of juice or tea. Save the alcohol for you you'll need it. :)
Oh yeah, we keep all kinds of healthy snacks. He is done with all of that in no time and just moves on to cat food. The problem is that he has heart problems and the doctors wanted him to maintain a healthy weight but he has put on 10 pounds in this past week. If that rate keeps up he will eat himself to death because his heart won't be able to function. I buy baby carrots by the 5 pound bag, celery, apples, all kinds of fruits and veggies. He likes and eats all of those but the cat food seems to be just the right mix for variety. When you eat that much, it gets to the point where it doesn't matter what if it is that much. As we all know you can't reason with them and make them understand the serious nature of this situation.
My husband also has a great appetite. We'll go out for lunch and he'll have a large bowl of soup and a sandwich. Five minutes after the sanwich is gone, he'll say "Aren't we getting a sandwich?" He does seem to forget when he has just finished. Boy,, I wish I could forget to eat sometimes. Fortunately, he doesn't have a weight problem or any medical problems regarding food. I work half a day three days a week and I get upset whe I come home and find that he ate our "evening snack". I better learn to hide what I don't want him to eat.
Mine eats everything in sight EXCEPT the cat food, starting at 9:30 in the morning after breakfast at 8:30, then anytime after 2 pm if there's anything around. So far I'm saying no lunch before 11, no dinner before 5 but you can have a snack in the afternoon.
We do have to pay attention to reality, though. Sad as it is, the goal is no longer to keep them alive as long as possible. It is to let them live as comfortably as possible. So keeping them "heart healthy" may not be in their best interests. From what I've read, "we lose" if they're still alive by Stage 7.
this seems to be a stressful day for manyof us including me. my son as usual is trying to open his medical practice and doesnt get the loan amount..duh? mom again-i need a cosigner!!..i can see whats coming..ayyayah..! More stress! on the other hand, DH loves our chihuahuas IAMS bones.:) if it wasnt so sad its funny too. my lil doggies bring a 'treat' to bed to eat before dinner and voila! DH steals it when they arent looking:) it does crack me up. my SIL and I roll on the floor when he does this, walks around with them in his pocket for snacks. i guess they wont hurt him. my dogs are now eating them behind the couch::)))ha! aww. i do try to discourage this but he seems to like them- i agree that let them eat what they can and try to keep it healthy and just lots of finger stuff during the day. mine doesnt remembr he just ate either, so i give lots of fruits/nuts/granola bars etc. its not easy keeping up with groceries -divvi
I hear what you are saying and I know deep down inside you are right. It is just a reality that I'm having a very hard time facing . . . . somehow that is admitting to myself that it is coming all the sooner no matter what . . . . there are days that I tell myself, just let him be happy and eat whatever pleases him. He tells me point blank that he likes the cat food and prefers it to all those healthy snacks. He tried to convince me to try it myself, he insists that it is just that good. He is sure I would like it. Can you tell that I'm crying as I type this????? Just one more sad evening . . . .
Oh, poor Gretchen. I'm so sad for you. But I do think things will, eventually, get better. Hold that thought. It's just a really rough patch we're going through now.
GretchenFLA, I'm so sorry that you are seeing this behavior - I sometimes see something that just hits me wrong. I think it triggers my grief when I see something that seems like we crossed another line. That is sad... I'm thinking of you this evening and I hope you can feel our caring. You've gotten through other painful events with him I'm sure and you'll get through this one too but I'm so sorry you have to.
PS Would he remember if you moved the cat dish out of sight?
As sad as it is, it hasn't killed the cat or dog to eat it. Maybe their taste buds change? Just make sure the cat or dog doesn't starve!
Divvi, congratulations on your son opening his practice. That's great news! I know, I know, Mom always has to be there, but at least he will be self sustaining in the future. I am so glad my son is a computer systems engineer. Lots of people have kids with no ambition, so let's cut them some slack. I remember co-signing for everything, but those days are behind me & am proud to have a very self reliant son.
I must tell a funny story, on myself. I took a few minutes to absntmindedly read a magazine, and had some nuts to snack on. This rarely happens. Anyway, my dog kept annoying me, so I got a handful of his kibble, and gave him one at a time, so I could relax. I took a 'nut' for myself and it tasted funny. yes you guessed it... wrong pile, I had put a kibble in my mouth. After I spit it out, and washed my mouth out, I realized, it wasn't that terrible, and it hasn't killed the dog. If hubby likes it, what can you do. (lol)
specialist surgeon,obg/gyn Val. hes been in business with a partner for 3yrs didnt work out the guy stole him blind. he was very naive and fresh out of med school, no business sense:) i know i will have to help him once more to get his own practice going now, but i dont like debt lingering over my head with AD if everyone knows what i mean! congratulations of the job! you will soon be self sufficient. my DH likes the IAMs small dog biscuits. they havent hurt him yet:) what can we do is right. divvi
Maybe it is more what it represents than the actual eating of cat/dog food. To me this represents a beginning of the end. That is probably what I am having more trouble with than anything else. . . . . acceptance of the inevitable . . . . . I'm not doing too well with the accepting part of what the future holds.
My therapist gently suggested that I talk to my daughter about the end of life decisions I had made for my husband. He signed living wills when we lived in California BEFORE his EVENT which started his dementia, so I know that they were his choices. In January when I was pretty sure he fully understood what we were doing we wrote new ones using a local attorney who witnessed my husband's signature.
Her suggestion was so I would no longer have a guilty secret about all of this, and so the anxiety levels would improve. That worked, by the way. It also does something else. Explaining your hard decisions to someone else, especially someone else who needs to agree with you once the time comes, also improves the anxiety levels.
Gretchen, believe it or not, thinking about the inevitable and doing it while you are paying attention helps.
Thanks! Divvi, when my ex-husband was starting out in a practice in nephrology, I saw how he didn't have a clue how to manage a practice. I went in & got the books straight, & believe me, that is not my strong point. He was a genius, seriously, he scored so high on his medical boards it was off the records. Sorry to hear you have even more on your plate. Make sure he has an accountant in the future, guess I don't need to tell you that.
Hopefully, eating 5 bananas in an hour's time doesn't hurt. I went out to mow the lawn while my husband was taking a nap. When I came back in all 5 bananas were gone. Of course when I mentioned it, he had no clue what I was talking about. I guess I learned today not to hang all the bananas on the banana tree.
probably somewhere in above posts i recounted how i came in to the kitchen and a dozen big beautiful apples in a fruit bowl had ONE bite out of each of them. dont feel to bad kadee, bananas plug the system:) divvi
My DH eats all the time. I went out for 1 hour this morning and came home to him having lunch before 11am. One day when I was not feeling well I went back to be after breakfast. One hour later he was having breakfast again. He eats everything in sight and then has ice cream. We had to buy him a belt in the big and tall men's department today and he is 5'8" at most. I keep buying larger size pants. He also has heart issues and sits in a recliner all day. My fear is diabetes, he would never accept limitations. He would not even remember he had it. The doctors never seem to notice this weight.
When the neurologist asked my husband what he liked to do, he said EAT! Gobble gobble. He NEVER ate sweets before. Maybe part of a dessert if we were at a party, to be polite. But never otherwise. Now he sits quietly after dinner and waits for his ice cream.
I found out what eating 5 banana's in row do to my husband, diarrhea. You might know it would do the opposite to him then most people. Time for Imodium. I guess I will either not buy banana's or hide them.
What is it about ice cream! Seems like lots of our spices now like ice cream. Mine never ate much of it before - now after lunch and after dinner - gotta have his Cherry Cordial ice cream!
I'm convinced that the taste for sweets is related to the brain not accessing/processing glucose properly - the type 3 diabetes thing we've talked about on here before. It's an attempt to make up for the deficit with an increased sugar intake. Sunshyne could address this in a much more scientific manner.
Your husband eating so many bananas reminded me of the book "The Banana Lady: and other stories of curious behavior and speech", by Andrew Kertesz. I don't know if you've heard of the book but it relates stories regarding people with FTD/Pick's.
GretchenFLA, would it work to put something else in the cat dish the looked like cat food, say goldfish crackers, and let him have at it. You could say it's a new brand of cat food you are trying. The cat might like it also.
My husband has always wanted his bowl of ice cream before bed, so that has not changed. I buy unsalted Almonds by the large bag at Costco and mix MMs with them - he likes to have one MM for each almond.
I am concerned about overeating and weight gain; dh has mild diabetes which is controlled (so far) by tablets. He had blood tapped this morning and we'll get the results at the doctor's office next week. Hope it's OK. I'm mainly concerned about the effect that high blood sugar levels might have on the dementia.
I think there was something about bananas on another thread. DH never liked bananas before. Well, at least he never suggested buying them and I don't like them. But now he'll make a beeline for them at the store and eat them all when we get home. I leave two out for him and hide the rest in the oven. Curious, this is a hiding place in plain sight (it even has a glass door at eye level) but he never thinks to look inside. He's always amazed when I "find" him another banana.
thank goodness for small favors, jeanette! that blind eye helps us out some. divvi i keep my bananas in the non working microwave! since i use another counter one:) divvi
My DH says he doesn't want to eat dinner anymore. He eats lunch but then between after his nap and before dinner he is constantly going into the kitchen to eat snack food. Sometimes he will do this so many times that he hasn't even finished what he was eating last. I don't think he even knows what he is doing because when I ask him if he has enjoyed his snacking and suggest that is why he doesn't want dinner he says he didn't do that.
Just got back from the doctor; dh's sugar was up to 10 but she wasn't worried and is not going to increase his meds. SInce she's not sure whether the increase is being caused by the Risperidone we have another appointment in about a month, just to test the blood sugar again. His eating binge from the Risperidone lasted two weeks but seems to be pretty much over now. He seems to forget. He used to eat so much in the evening, but now usually has nothing after supper; sometimes I encourage him to have a glass of wine so that he stays up another hour, but he doesn't seem hungry. His weight at the doctor's office was the same as six months ago, in spite of coconut and MCI oil (which I have let lapse now). Something to be thankful for.
My DH eats constantly from 8pm to 11. If he falls asleep while watching tv, he will wake up, get a snack, then take another little nap. The other night I got upset when he started eating again at 11pm. He got mad at me and went to bed and shut the door. He forgot about it by morning. I have stopped buying snacks.
This is all so strange. My DH NEVER eats between meals - no snacks. He eats a good breakfast, fruit and sandwich at lunch; then I make supper. He never eats after that. He does want his Cherry Cordial ice cream after every meal though! I have stocked up. LOL
Dh wants Breyers Cherry Vanilla, and Peach. never anything with nuts, chocolate bits, or anything that must be chewed. Evidently, the fruits are OK though.
Maryd, I'm with you, I find that the best solution to the overeating is just not buying candy, cookies, chips, etc. I make sure we have plenty of fruit and low-fat sugar-free yogurt in the fridge. Also sugar-free ice cream. He prefers the regular (which is MY great weakness) but usually will settle for the light stuff if I put it on top in the freezer and hide the good stuff under foods that he never looks at. I eat it after he goes to bed.
PrisR, you can easily correct a spelling mistake by clicking EDIT just above your post. (That's why so many of my posts are "edited".)
This is all so interesting. My DH can't seem to get enough ice cream. I thought it was just him. But now it helps me deal with it because it seems to be connected with AD. The problem is he has Diabetes 2 and I'm afraid of all the sugar. I won't buy sugar-free because it has aspartame and that's so bad. We have no pets so I don't have to worry about him sharing their food.
However, since he will skip lunch (no matter what I leave prepared for him) I think I'll start leaving a bowl of granola bars on the counter for him to snack on. He may think they're a candy treat.
It sure helps to share with common problems with others. I'm so glad I found this website.
Divvi - thanks for the laugh. The mental picture of the dogs eating their snacks behind the couch was just toooooo funny. I needed that. Have a good night all.
Eating habits changed here as well. Good breakfast and late lunch....dinner has become the smaller meal. Never ceases to amaze me that something he has loved for years now he almost gags when he sees it....and other things he loves used to hate. Does not eat as many sweets as he did the past few years but loves ice cream now as well. To replace ice cream bought Weight Watchers fudgicles they are delicious! Easy for him to get by himself. (when I haven't eaten them all
My husband could LIVE on ice cream. He loves it. Cookies second..He can eat an entire box full. I used to hand the box to him, but learned my lesson the day he went through a large bag of Oreos in one sitting. Now they go onto a saucer or in a bowl..and I count them.
Wonder why it should matter?? I should let the poor guy eat all the cookies he can hold. It's just my old 'tapes', that say that one shouldn't eat all of the cookies that quickly.
We have moved from a small lunch, sometimes at home and sometimes out, and a big supper, to a large lunch, always out, and a tiny supper. But he wants desert so we get desert.
Reading this is a kick..ice cream for everyone! We NEVER had dessert in days before, but ice cream is paramount now..and chocolate chip cookies. Our daughter makes the best ones and always has a mother lode for her dad. I had his PCP check his blood sugar levels as a result of this sudden intake, but he is just fine, so eat away! Very strange.
I've always cooked dinner, at least six times a week, with maybe once a week takeout or pizza. It was always the "main meal." Now we've moved to eating about half as much at dinner, and then him noshing through the day: a late breakfast that finishes around lunch time and then various bits and pieces of leftovers, fruit, yogurt.. until around 2 when I clear everything away until five. Small dinner and then, of course, ICE CREAM! for him - and he's NEVER eaten dessert on a regular basis before. I still like to cook but have discovered that I might as well just fix simple things that can be saved for a second meal..
Briegull - That exactly what I do. I cook every night too, but our dinners have become smaller and I can usually get two meals out of one cooking. Now, I have friends over now and then for Saturday night dinners, when I can satisfy my desire to cook, and fill the house with laughter.
It's so different from before. Since I love to cook, our dinner together was always a happy event. He liked everything I cooked. Now, I know he'd be happy with just a big bowl of ice cream. Yesterday I bought an assortment of granola bars for snacking during the day ... hopefully to limit the amount of ice cream ... he could eat a 1/2 gal every day. I put them in a bowl with a note attached that says "Help youself to some snacks." We'll see what I find when I get home. I work, so he's on his own until 2 p.m. when Jack comes to stay with him until I get home. I set out his bowl of cereal to which he has to add milk. But reading what has been said here, he may soon start adding juice or water ... whatever!
.. or cat chow?!! I put my husband's pills for a meal into one of those little 1 oz containers that salad dressing or barbecue sauce comes in when you order in. Lately he's VERRRRY carefully taken his pills, drunk them down with his sherry (about 3 swallows) and then verry carefully filled the little container with the remaining sherry! Yesterday he'd also put the watered wine from the table carafe into his salad bowl. They love to play with liquids!!
Pat, Don't be shocked if when you come home everything has been eaten. If I leave more than 1-2 snacks on the counter, my husband will eat until everything is gone....like 5 bananas one right after another.
Absolutely, Kadee. If it's out, it's free game. Briegull, can't imagine taking pills with sherry. oooh, You'd have to swallow so much of it at once. Not a regular Sherry drinker, as you can tell. I can only sip it a tiny bit at a time.
What is it about sweets and icecream? DH never was fond of desserts and a couple of bites was all he ate. I swear if I put sugar on green beans I'll bet he would it them.