I invite you to log onto the home page - www.thealzheimerspouse.com - and read today's blog. It was not meant as a complaint or a whine. Simply musing.
Very good blog. Just the way I think about things.
Also thank you Joan, I am now crocheting. Have not done it in years. I use to sew and as you know we need to be able to drop what we are doing. And sewing is not always kind about that. So I started crocheting and making baby blankets. I can put it down and pick it up at any time. Also I donate what I make. That way no one is waiting for me to get a certain amount done by a certain time. I find I enjoy picking out the colors and am happy to get working on the next one. Now my time just sitting at home watching out for DH is filled with some bright colors and joy for what I am making for others :))
Joan, Your blogs are right on. You always seem to be thinking the same things as me as I am & of course, I feel guilty. Sometimes you just think "I can't do this anymore". My husband was dx 4 1/2 yrs ago but doesn't have the medical problems that your husband has, actually, my husband is healthy but has aphasia that is worsening every day. We cannot carry on a conversation because it seems like he is speaking a foreign language. It becomes a very lonely life when you lose your companion & soul mate. We used to travel a lot & now he doesn't even have any memories of those times at all. So sad.
I'm new to your blog but have been following your blogs for sometime. Joan G. (coincidence, our initals are the same..lol) I'm from Maryland.
Blue...several months ago when I was at the VA hospital for my dh to have some tests a gal there told me that they could really use some small lap blankets for the Vets who are in wheel chairs. And, the Vets love them. I also like to crochet and I have been trying to make a few and take them to the VA hospital when we have to go there again.
Joan, I agree with you that at this time it is hard to look to far into the future and like you I have found things I can enjoy each day.
1. As I said in an earlier subject, I used to be a performing magician. It has been many years since I last did a show and I don't know that I will ever do stage shows again but I have started practicing close up magic (cards, coins and other magic with small objects).
2. I play in a band and practice my dobro each day.
3. When I can arrange it I have the nurse stay a few extra hours so I can get in a round of golf.
My future for now is Kathryn and making her quality of life the very best I can so for now the future is on hold. I will worry about it when the time comes but not today.
I don't look ahead further than tomorrow which is another trip for CT/PET scans fighting another battle on another front with dh. I can't imagine a future without him. How could I after 60 years marriage and before that knowing him since I can remember anyone. My load is heavy now with my 90 year old sister's care also but when I have no one to care for what then?? But I'll survive, I'm sure that God has my life planned and I'll just pray for His guidance for each day as I do now. Still can't help feeling very lonely just thinking . (Joan 4368, my sister has aphasia and our telephone talks can be pretty confusing sometimes. She does not have az.)
For a very long time, I looked forward short-term. What was on the schedule for this week. Appointments were made and put on the calendar, but not on the radar until the start of the week. Small things acquired for treats--a new book, Reese's Pieces. DH having a quiet day. Watching squirrels at the feder. The antics of the cats and dog. Every litle thing that broke the grimness of DH's decline. Bute then I seemed to come tot he realizatrion that it won';t always be this way, and it doesn't have top be this griom and gray now. I canm take my small bit of espoite im and go to a show, go out fo lunch witeh a friend. I began to doi na fewthings and it helps. These baby steps help me progress to bigger steps and realize we have a ways o go and if I plan to see this through I need to take measures. I was working on Placement for DH. Our House is in Short Sale, and now DH s Hospitalized. I have to finds an apartment for me--he'll be going to a facility once meds are adjusted. I've gone from the heavy work of the Dementia Road ( but still on it) to the chaos of all this at once. I still look forward to the little things to break up the stress of the big things. But now I'm looking forward to getting some of this big stuff done so I can takkea break.
Carosi: Just read your blog and my thoughts and prayers are with you. It is amazing how similar your circumstances are to the way mine were 2 yrs ago. I took Momma to day care and we had a dr's. appointment @ 10:30. Momma was going to day care and we had a dr's appt. Long story short, he sent us to the ER and she was admitted to the psych ward for meds adjustment. She was there for two weeks and then went straight to the NH in a different state. This was all unexpected and the following weeks were the most stressfull of my entire life. I sold our house, gave a lot of stuff away, bought a house here and moved without her knowing anything about it. She has never seen the house where I live and I don't think she ever will. All unexpected.
I hope you are able to cope with this and handle the situation better than I did.
Dean I don't know about handling it better. Just doing my best. However, this chaotic progression was NOT the plan. First Lookers come see house tomorrow. I was told the process would take a while, but if I found an Apartment before it sold, to go head and take it. With my luck it'll sell before I've locked the apartment. I'd planned the in-home helpers would be helping as I packed, most gone now. Their hours were for DH. Dean, you have done what all of us here must do. At any given moment we do the best we can with the knowledge at hand. That's all we can do. It will be enough because it is our best.