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    • CommentAuthortom
    • CommentTimeJan 15th 2012
     
    Today is the 1st anniversary of my 62 year old wife of 38 years being admitted to a memorary care facility. For a number of reasons including quality of care, financial and near her family she is where she needs to be. She resides in an excellent facility but over a thousand miles away. She is safe and clean, the unit is clean, she is very well cared for and I am at peace with my decision.

    As we all know, there are no mile markers with this terrible disease. I'm wanting to try and restart my life. Yet, I will be married until the end of her days. I welcome your suggestions on even should I do this now.... would I not be a "married man" to women, so even just social interaction would be difficult...are there places/sites, preferably in NC, where AD spouses can meet for support. Thank you all. Tom
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJan 15th 2012
     
    welcome Tom. I do not live in NC. Have you tried calling the Alz Assoc. or going to their website where they list any meetings in your area. There are also others in your situation that will come along.
    • CommentAuthortom
    • CommentTimeJan 15th 2012
     
    Thanks, Charlotte. Yes I have and have offered to volunteer in any way. I value the support of others...good to know one is not alone.
  1.  
    Welcome Tom, I would think starting out with a group type of get together is the way to go. I am not sure if there is a right way or wrong way when you are in the kind of life we are in. Just tonight I was talking with our 15 yo DD and told her I was tired of being in limbo. I understand.
    • CommentAuthordonna L
    • CommentTimeJan 15th 2012
     
    tom, my daughter worked in her nurse training at a memory facility in winston salem, nc . we have been to several support groups she said by far this facility had the best support group for spouses that she had ever seen. not sure where you are in nc. but it that is close to you let me know i will get the name from her. sorry i don't know it off the top of my head , too far for me to go since i still work full time
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      CommentAuthorm-mman*
    • CommentTimeJan 15th 2012
     
    Hi Tom,
    My 61 y/o wife of 23 years is still at home. I think almost daily about what will happen when I am in your situation . . .
    How to start over when you haven't even finished, is just not a part of 'normal' life experience. There are no accepted social norms YET . . .
  2.  
    Hello Tom & m-mman: My wife is in the same kind of facility as Tom's. A lovely facility and she is being well cared for. Except it will be 2yrs next month and it is only 3 miles from my house that she has never seen. I go there almost every day and I am trying to cut my visits to two or three times per week. But, my purpose in writing is that I have the same feelings as you do Tom and I would love to have some female companionship. I expressed this on another thread a few days ago, but, I don't think anyone has a solution. Like you, I will always be married until one of us dies and I will always be faithful to our marriage vows. However, I just signed up for my first ever dance lesson next month and I am 78 yrs old.

    There are no simple answers.

    Wishing you all the Best.
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      CommentAuthorBama* 2/12
    • CommentTimeJan 15th 2012
     
    Good for you Dean...Dancing is fun and is great exercise. The man that can dance is always in demand at parties and can open the door to making friends.
    • CommentAuthordonna L
    • CommentTimeJan 15th 2012
     
    hey, tom donna again. i seen on another thread where you are from. my aunt's husband passed away several years ago and she goes to several dance places around reidsville. no drinking involved, i have been to one place she goes and they all dance with different ones but it seems that it a very social outing for most of them and nothing more then good fun.
    •  
      CommentAuthorol don*
    • CommentTimeJan 16th 2012
     
    Bama I bet you been dancing since last monday night,I on the other hand am keeping a very low profile.......until next fall of course
    •  
      CommentAuthorBama* 2/12
    • CommentTimeJan 16th 2012
     
    ol don, I've never been one to rub it in. You beat us once and we beat you once so that makes us even until next year. Hope your day is good.
  3.  
    Bama: I didn't see where anyone posted "Roll Tide, Roll"
  4.  
    They not only "rolled" they "stream rolled" :)
    •  
      CommentAuthorBama* 2/12
    • CommentTimeJan 16th 2012
     
    :^))