I would really like to know at what point did you feel it was time to put your spouse into an Alzheimers or dementia unit. Tom has LBD. I have had friends tell me it is time but I am still able to care for him. We have a very good long term care policy that would pay the brunt. Just don't know what to do.....suggestions would certainly help!
AD units are usually locked and good for those that tend to 'run' or 'wander' out. If they are restricted to bed, then a NH might be alright. Another benefit to AD unit is that they should be more familiar with dementia symptoms that arise and not be totally surprised - aka better care. Not always the case, but for the most part true.
My husband also has Lewy Body Dementia. I am fairly far from this decision yet, because I can still leave him alone, but as I look forward I can see several different possibilities. From the caregiver's perspective, I might consider placement: 1. when I can't leave him alone (particularly because I still work and he doesn't like to get up in the morning which would make daycare harder) 2. if he gets violent 3. when he is incontinent (I'm already dealing ok with some of this, but it is a tipping point for some people) 4. when I can't get a decent night's sleep because he needs help repeatedly in the middle of the night 5. when it takes more than my strength to transfer him or do his ADLs 6. when he doesn't know who I am or where he is
Focusing more on the person with dementia, I might consider placement A. to provide structure and social activities B. if expert medication adjustment is necessary on an ongoing basis to keep him from being agitated and distraught C. when more than one caregiver or significant skilled nursing is required
If I thought my husband would enjoy the activities of a dementia unit, I would consider placement a lot earlier, but he is 66 years old and an intellectual snob. I live in an area where sitters and home aides are fairly inexpensive, so I will probably try to keep him home until he needs skilled help.
I was "pushed" to do it because: 1. Hb wandered 24/7 for the most part and got into things. Fell, knocked himself out, went to hospital, rehab in dementia wing and has stayed there. I had quit work to watch him. Reasons I'd been considering it: 1. Wandering, not sleeping, getting into things and moving things around 2. Safety--falls 3. Stubborn and uncooperative when doing hygiene, pottying, dressing, etc. Like others, I let him sleep in his clothes. Choose the battles that are worth falling into an emotional pit (caregiver) for. 4. Negatives of prior personality: stubborn, self-willed, selfish, control were "enhanced" as he progressed/regressed
Now: More people to help him, more choice of activities (but he doesn't participate most of the time), he gives me hugs, says he loves me. He has one person per shift assigned to be with him from 6 a.m. - 10 p.m. With meds he sleeps a little better, but not always. I am more rested, visit every day usually for an hour or two. Still trying to engage him in some activity other than wandering. Have taken him for rides when weather is nice.
He's never said, "take me home" or complained about where he is or asked me not to leave.
I like Pam's synopsis. I am not anticipating (as if anyone does) violence, so I suspect that for me it would end up being points 4, 5, or 6 on her list. I already can't leave him alone for more than a couple minutes, so I guess that if I had an away-from-home career, we'd already be needing some kind of care.