We traveled a lot. Everything I touch brings back good memories. We have several collections of Lladro and Toby mugs which we both loved. As the disease progressed DH would on occasion give me an inappropriate gift-but a gift none the less. Now I have only memories of what was-but only sadness of what is to be. DH no longer knows who I am and it is heartbreaking. The things we loved will not mean anything to our progeny and will probably be sold off. I remember my Mom wanting to give me her things and I didn't want them. Now I know how much that must have hurt her. bluedaze
You know, I travelled and brought back a lot too. I'm offering stuff to our kids and they take a little but there's a lot left. Some of it is valuable. Most is not. I've decided, I THINK, that eventually I'll have a yard sale but price things a little above the usual. If people really want something they'll pay for it. And what doesn't get sold will get stored and my kids can deal with it!
I did find something out from a lecture an elderlaw att'y gave the other night. He said, that in figuring medicaid numbers, the evaluators don't look at STUFF. If you translate the stuff to CASH, and put it in savings, then they will look at it as part of your holdings. But not STUFF.
Which gives us all a glorious excuse to procrastinate about tidying up!!
What is a side benefit of deciding to live in a motorhome is that we got rid of most of our 'stuff'. It felt good - except for my Mom's 1903 Knabe parlor grand piano, but we gave that to the denomination where she was organist, and they said I could come and play it any time. We offered our children (stepchildren or birth children) to take whatever they wanted, we contacted the antique dealer, and the church had a sale where we received 60% of what was sold. After that we donated whatever any local charity group would take and the rest we dropped off as we traveled. I now have 2 pieces of Depression glass from the hundreds I collected and love using those more than I enjoyed LOOKING at all the whole collection. We visit friends and see our works of art! Since you really only read one book at time why keep thousands? We only have a dozen or so books - we read and recycle. I enjoy going to museums and coming home to our lifestyle - one tee in - one out. After a lifetime of collecting, this feel SO GOOD!
In our case, the books, ah, the books! For years when we moved we'd pack up the books. And UNpack the books. But because he'd always get sick around the time of the move *I* was the one doing it. Some of the books (the five tall bookcases in his "study") are math books, some valuable. Some of mine are also valuable, scholarly books. There's a company that is devoted to buying and selling scholarly books: http://www.zubalbooks.com/
"We travel coast to coast to buy your books" they say. I think what all of us hate is to think of our cherished possessions going for .50 at a yard sale, so if they will take them, I'm just holding on to all of them so I can get rid of them at once - my husband, of course, will never let HIS go, he needs them "for research." And we're not talking about semi-complete runs of scholarly journals which of course are now available electronically but which provide a nice insulation for the attic. We own the house, if we sell it we then get into the elderlaw stuff which I don't want to do (besides this being a lousy time to sell). So I leave the books until "later."
Aside from the good tip to hang onto stuff for Medicaid purposes, I'm all about clearing the clutter & Feng Shui. Stuff just drags you down. They say if you have stuff in your attic, it will be bearing down on you. If you don't know anything about Feng Shui, now is a good time. Since a lot of you are at home now, it is a good time to get rid of it all. That's what I spent the last year doing, culling files, getting rid of books that just take up space, etc. It is a great experience and you feel a lot lighter.
I have laughingly said to my DD and DIL that I ust be pregnant, because I've been nesting. Just recently, I've been throwing out whatever I can. Got so, that DH is hiding things from me because I'll throw them out. Actually, I haven't thrown out his stuff, I feel it makes him feel secure, but I sure have been getting rid of stuff in the rest of the house. I agree with feng shui, too much stuff clutters your mind, and mine is already cluttered enough.
I've gotten rid of tons of stuff since this all started. I guess sort of planning for the day the house needs to be more simple for me to keep up. It is amazing to me how much stuff you can clear out and the house doesn't look any less crowded.
bluedaze, please try to see it as a gift that you don't expect your children to take your things but rather , want them to have the freedom to have the things they want around them... things from their lives. My mother and father and two sisters all left family things to me aftre their deaths. I became the keeper of all family memories.I can't tell you how much packing and un- packing I have done. And how much guilt I felt when I thought about replacing those items. It was years before I could pack away items from them and put them out of view and years more before I could actually get rid of some of them. Even when things weren't my taste I felt an obligation to keep them. You know, even if your things end up being sold or given to other people you can be assured the other people will want them.
Yes, it's the "someone else WILL want them" thing that makes me clear out. I have a Wizard of Oz original 78s album. Obviously only of interest to a collector. Some autographs - one I treasure is "to ?? with love, Tennessee Williams" signed to me when I was 13 and an usher at a play directed by his then-current boyfriend.
As far as I can tell, my grandchild (there is, and will be, only one) wouldn't be interested! And her mother is a throw-everything-out person who disposes of treasured books or handmade dresses I've given the child. So I'm not anxious to pass stuff along to her!
I'm looking into places to get rid of the excess when the time comes. There are things all over this house that aren't mine, and that I frankly never liked all that much. A lot of it is going to go.
Some things go/will go to Goodwill, but others are actually worth enough money that I am going to find a way to sell them. I've never even bought from ebay, so I have no idea how to sell that way. I might go there, or I might not. There are things I want to go to someone who will love them and others I want to go to someone who will like them.
I'm slowly throwing away junk. I just searched out and found a bunch of large plastic drink cups with straws. The kind you take on trips. Or even worse, the kind someone gives you with a big drink on the road that you washed out and kept, for years. That kind of junk. And there is a lot more of it. And all of it is going to go sooner or later.
Culled the kitchen last summer. There's more to go,but his coffee cup collection will stay awhile yet--the whole top shelf of the cupboard several deep, plus more in a small cabinet. Don't or can't use it anymore? Lose it. Added a few new things--microwaveable pan with lid, soup cups wih big handles that I can use.
Reading and shipping out books (have a sharing system with my sisters that eventually ships them out of here). Am donating a chunk of my yarn stash to a group making slippers to be given with food pantry bags at Christmas. Even culling my doll collection and donating tioGoodswill. They have volunteers clean up/refurbish dolls, and do a sale in November, and some are sold in their stores.
Doing this feels good. Just wish I didn't have to run up against the occasional "pressurizing" person's who think it's their place to push me into doing this. It has to happen when I am ready and able. I had enough of that when he first came home from the hospital. Then, I was being pushed to reduce the pet population--part were rescues which didn't stay long (Guinea pigs). But, I eventually had to give up 2 of 'my' cats, then the oldest (mine) died. It was a hard thing, and really slowed me down on the SORT AND DISPOSE process.
Toughest thing right now is pushing daughter to resolve what to do with the stuff she has stored here. She's in California, in an appartment, so I do understand shipping is prohibitive and her storage is nill, but I can't keep it here forever either.
My next big task will be the basement and garage. They're full of tools, and bits and pieces of tools, and an oddball collection of salvaged building material which will never prove useful to us. I am thinking of beginning the sorting process, but because of the way he relates to this stuff as representative of projects he thinks he can do, it will most likely have to wait for a later time to be done thoroughly.
I have been purging also...perhaps this is one good thing to come out of our messy lives. I didn't know how to sell on Ebay, but Craig's List is a snap and I have sold several items there easily. There are commercial places that will sell onEbay for you, but they , of course, take a good cut. Would depend on the $$ of the item, I suppose...but I sold a spendy Lego toy that my grand son suddenly was too old for (fortunately before the box was opened) plus workout equipment, my husband's R/C airplanes etc...so it is possible.
I have one month to get a lot of "stuff" out of our house. When we moved into an apartment, keeping our primary home, a friend asked if he could rent it for a week in August (it's on the coast of Maine with views of Acadia National Park). Now I have to get rid of enough junk so they feel they are getting a good rental. Hopefully, our daughters will help when they are here over the next 4 weeks.
The biggest item we got rid of was my wife's car - a 1986 Chevy Suburban, a real gas guzzler. I mentioned to a friend that I wanted to sell it. He asked how much, and then returned half an hour later with payment in cash, without even seeing the car.
carosi, only too true -- clearing out the excess stuff can only happen when you're good and ready.
Provided that you have to do it voluntarily.
My company is going under, and I was trying to systematically sort, and either store (for legal reasons) or shred and toss twenty years of financial/legal papers in the accounting office and storage facility, clean out five labs full of equipment, chemicals, and disposables (plus stuff I couldn't even identify... I wore gloves!), seventeen desks and some twenty-odd bookcases and thirty-eight filing cabinets, and so on and so forth. Painful Procrastination with capital P's, man, I was finding every excuse in the book to do other things. Then I find out, with two hours' warning, that my landlord is in financial trouble, too, and has decided to simply lock me out. Totally, totally illegal for him to do this, but do it he did.
You know those contests where you can win a shopping spree, walk off with everything you can grab in ten minutes? Yes, indeedy. Ms Whirlwind herself.
There's a lot of expensive, very large and heavy equipment still sitting there, as far as I know. Books and reprints, oh me, I'm a real pack rat when it comes to the printed page, but I knew I couldn't afford to spend precious time trying to grab those. I aimed for the records I need for the bankruptcy, a few precious (to me only) pieces of artwork, a couple of lightweight expensive instruments I could carry by myself, to sell, personal papers, and my computer.
It has been surprising, how little it actually hurt, though. I mean, I'd love to get my hands on the equipment, to sell it, to pay off debts. But other than that ... well, I didn't have to spend week after week sorting, tossing, storing, selling, deciding, worrying, cleaning, lugging, hauling. It's just ... POOF.
I believe the poof is permanent, too. My attorney has sent several letters of outraged protest, no response. I can sue for damages, and win in a cakewalk, but I don't think I'd get anything out of it -- the landlord is apparently going belly up, and figures there isn't much I could gain out of a lawsuit, and it would cost me a lot of money. Once I've recovered a bit, my attorney and I will explore this some more.
In the meantime, my house, now, that's a total disaster area, because all the stuff I threw into the car willy-nilly is littered everywhere here, and I don't even have room left to sort through all of it and get it organized so I know where it is. So there is going to have to be a major purge of personal stuff, too. (I'm back to procrastinating...)
Starling, don't use ebay. Big pain, little gain. Use Craig's list, and follow their instructions about how to avoid getting scammed.
I did cleaning out too a while back, completely have the triple care garage totally nothing in it! whoppee. not even the car. just 'ready' in case we sell at some point. our basement is mostly organized now and its xmas stuff and or/few legal paper boxes too but i did major cleanup there too. i can live with it, except the pool table is in peices and coudnt be moved due to it being so heavy, so the buyer renigged on it so its still laying in peices. my kitchen i did too and already am packratting again those plastic glasses/straws for hubby. cleaned out all THREE of my walkin closets last yr and made over 3k at the resale shop with the help of my sis in law. so i have been a busy bee too and so glad i did that. just sold for 50dol a exercise gazelle was on my porch:) little by little, divvi
I've never heard of craigs list, but it looks interesting and there is a page for my county. You just need to use common sense just like you would with a newspaper ad.
Common sense, yes, but it is absolutely amazing the types of scams people run these days. Read up on their warnings on the Craig's list site ... even if you decide to use the newspaper!
Craig's list is free. The ads expire in one week, but there's no limit as to how often you can re-post them. It's best to include pictures, if you can. If the item is at all unusual, I try to use several different "key words" to describe it. Most people will locate your ad by doing a search, and you don't know which key words they might use in their search.
You can get hits on your ad by doing general searches on google, not just local searches on the Craig's list site itself. This is good because you get more hits. This is bad because people from other locations may try to talk you into selling to them, and that's when you're very likely to run into scams. I've had inquiries from as far away as Greece.
Another nice thing is that you do not have to reveal anything about yourself when you post the ad. You can have inquiries sent to your email through an anonymous craig's email address. If you're at all suspicious about what you see, don't respond. They also have a help desk; if you're worried about an inquiry, you can search for similar responses that turned out to be scams, and you can ask their help desk to evaluate the response you got, to see if they think it's a scam.
I've had great luck on Ebay. And don't forget consignment shops. Never have sold anything on Craig's list, but then, I've culled down to the bone & only have the bare essentials. I love not having "stuff." When we moved (unnecessarily) last year, my husband told me the only thing non-negotiable was our dining room table. I can tell you, I donated, sold, & got rid of stuff any way I could. He had an album collection from the 60's/70's in a crate that was just a dust collector. He never once played those albums. I took the albums & the phonograph, whatever you call those things from way back then, to the trash. I have thrown away so much stuff, mostly his junk from 29 years in this house. I did take to the consignment shop, a what he thought was an original Miro lithograph, he paid $1,000 for at auction & then spent $300 having a corner reconstructed. He was going to sell it at Christie's auction, but I took it to a consignment shop & the 1st day someone bought it for $600, giving me over $300. I doubt if he will even miss it is gone. In fact, I'm sure he won't notice.