HOLLY CRAP! Why did I think I could take DH to the grocery store with me???????He usually stays at the DC but everyone is sick around there and I did not want to infect him swo I thought how bad can it be----IT WAS BAD---I think there was just to much confusion at Walmart for him. We go in and go pee just to be safe,get up one isle and start down the next DH says"I gotta go pee" OK maybe he did not go before so back to the restroom.We start again I have to keep making him hold onto the buggy in order for him to keep up.Two more isles he says"my shoe is hurting my foot"so I find a place to sit him down and sure enough he has a red place on his foot-no wonder he has no sock on-I yelled(quietly) when did you take your sock off?He says I don't know....So we go to the sock section and I put one new sock on him and the other in the buggy to pay for.Off we go again- now we have hardly any groceries in the buggy but been in the store for AWHILE. I swear we go another isle and he says he thinks he needs to go poop!!!! I was ready to SCREAM(well maybe I did alittle) So back to the restroom we go again-I of course have to assist and probably not too gently by this point. We come out of there and I pulled him along as quickly as I could picked up only necessary items and went to the check out.It was pouring the rain down by now so I had to push the buggy and hold umbrella over DH -unlock the car put him in first out of the rain-went around back to load groceries and here he comes to HELP -out in the pouring rain-I put him back in the car and buckel him in again.By this time I am soaking wet and boiling mad!!!!!
Betty, I would feel exactly the same way you did. I do not have the patience as so many do here so I know I would have been having a hissy fit. I hope the DC sickness clears up FAST for you.
briegull-I am not looking forward to that time ahead of me-but today I just want to crawl in a hole and pull it in after me! Jean21- I hate it that I do not have the patience that I should have,but that has never been one of my good points(if I have any left) I hope the girls at the DC recover before I run out of food.
Oh, bak, I would have reacted exactly as you did. Read over your post, and you will see that you are describing a day with a 2 year old. Sorry to say, but that is what they are like now. We have to think of them in those terms in order to understand what we can and cannot expect of them.
bak, I apologize for any chuckles you might have heard. I HATED taking hb anyplace. The time came when the only time I went into a store for anything was Thurs. between 10-12:30 when he was in his Circle of Art group. If I couldn't get errands done or shop during that time, there was always the next Thursday. Once in awhile I thought, "Oh, I just need...(something quick & small)." I'd hardly get in a store and I'd just say "furgit" and we'd head for home.
OMG bak...sorry,to say this , but reading it, it was funny. I know it isn't meant to be, and it would have been so frustrating for you, I feel for you for that...and I can see us getting that way too,not looking forward to that...
Well, bak, if you had any doubts about whether your husband could still accompany you on errands, I think you got the answer. Sometimes it takes an experience like that to hit us over the head and make us realize just what is and isn't practical anymore.
Oh bak, I laughed too. I remember so many times paying for something and looking and there he was....gone. Off I would go to chase him. Once, I was starting a dizzy spell. It is hard to chase someone when you also have to work hard on keeping upright. I am sorry you had such a bad day.
bak i can relate of course if it has to do with anything to do with pee/poop.! ha. i just posted on another thread how DH would not pee when i took him to bathroom. and as soon as i got back to what i was doing he'd say it again. my last outting was in a grocery store as well, and i wasnt fast enough either. before i knew it he was peeing all over the cheeto section. left grocery cart full, grabbed DH and skedattled out of the store as fast as i could drag him. i got him into the car and went back in and told a checker that they needed a 'cleanup' on isle 11. thats the day i hired an agency with help and he never went with me again. its been 3yrs i think and while sad he cant leave the house anymore, its my time away from AD even for a few hrs. so yes i can sympathize with all of you who are going thru trying to take them with you. divvi
Sorry-nothing funny. My husband decided he needed to go to Home Depot for "something". Could not talk him out of it-so off we went. I shadowed him through the store and we got to the self checkout. I can barely manage that but knew he would go into a rage. I was able to catch the eye of a cashier and told her of our "problem". She graciously helped and allowed my husband to keep his dignity. From then on I realized I would be the one calling the shots as to where we went.
Betty: I don't know of anyplace else that you could post this where people would beleive it. Thank goodness for this website. I recently took my DW to the lab for some blood work etc., and, of course, they wanted a 'specimen'. They provided the cup and I showed her where the ladies room was, but, she forgot to use the cup. There I stood with her and an empty cup. It takes a while before you can try again.
I know NOW that today was my fault. I knew he had a "thing about the bathroom"-but he does well in the car for a couple of hours at a time so why can he not make it through a store for 30minutes or so??? I have decided the bathroom is his safe place when in a crowd like walmart. (now if I only knew his obsession with it at home) What is really puzzeling me this evening is where did his sock go? I know he had 2 on when we left home because I made him put on clean ones(you know like your mom always made sure you had on clean underwear). This evening when he took his shoes off he wanted to know why I had him wear 2 different kinds of socks???? I finally got dried out after being soaked today but of course my hair is a mess,just a few minutes ago he told me it looked like I had been caught in a RAIN STORM. I wanted to yell -well it is all your fault-but I am to tired to care !
Dean---if you ever need to make the lab trip again, and they want a "specimen'", ask for a "Hat". Neat little container that fits under the seat and catches the specimen. (The hat looks like the pot to a kid's potty chair). Then you just tell them she's finished and they transfer it to the cup (bottle). No muss, no fuss, and no errors.
bak, I hope it's ok to laugh. We laugh because we know exactly what you're talking about. I had a little episode today also. DH only had one sock on when we were getting ready to go to DC. I asked why he didn't put the other one on. He didn't know why. I found the other sock and he put it on. As we were going in to DC, I noticed a lump on his ankle. I pulled his pants leg up and he had put on.....I don't know how to describe this....a little thing filled with something that you heat in the microwave and squeeze in your hand. It eases arthritis pain in hands. It has a little loop to fit on your hand. He had pulled the loop over his foot and onto his ankle. I guess he thought it was his sock. LOL It was a little hard to get off so it must have been a struggle to get it on. Nobody but us here would believe these things really happen.
Oh bak, I truly do understand. My husband has a thing for bathrooms too. Any door he sees in a store is a bathroom to him. I spend a lot of time holding onto him so he won't make a beeline for anything that looks like a bathroom to him. He also has a thing for candy. It's like he gets laser vision when he sees candy and takes off for it. He can be very fast when he wants a sweet. He will grab and quickly put in his pocket. I then have to get it away from him. Yesterday I had to return something at the store. As I was finishing up at the customer service desk, he took off for the candy. I had to leave the desk and get the candy out of his pocket. The whole time he has a death grip on that bag of m&ms. The cashier looked at me like I was nuts. My husband LOOKS like nothing is wrong. I no longer apologize for this. Let them think what they want.
Bak, I remember (and many of the old timers might recall this story as well) of the time my husband vehemently insisted I stop and buy gasoline a few miles from our house because the car's fuel light came on. Just to satisfy him, I did. (Why do we do that?) No sooner did I get out of the car at a major gasoline station on a very busy highway, he opened his door and let our little Havanese dog out. The dog ran into the busy 4 lane highway ( 5:00 traffic) and I ran into the road after him...cars were honking and swerving in every direction to avoid hitting him (and me!!) .. suddenly Tigger ran back toward the station with me right behind him. About the time I got to the station again, I heard horns blasting again and brakes screaming and there was DH in the middle of the highway. confused, frightened and .not knowing which way to go. I abandoned the dog chase and ran back to the road, arms waving in the air and cars were beginning to stop... I got him by the arm, brought him back to safety, to the car, put him inside and DARED him to move, and then went back to find our little dog. By now he was in a open field behind the station... running his legs off, towards the woods. I ran after him across the field and he darted toward some small houses, sitting on concrete blocks (having just been moved there by truck from some where else)... and looking empty. One house had about six old trucks parked around it... and tht was the one my dog decided to go underneath.. to HIDE. I pounded on the door frame from below (there was just a few blocks to stand on to get inside..and I am short and couldn't reach the door itself and suddenly countless Mexican Nationals began to run out all of the doors around the house and took out running toward the woods.. (NO! I'm NOT from Immigration!! but they must have thought I was...)
I am not fluent in Spanish, but was able to plead, "Mi pero, por favor, mi pero.. and pointed under the house. two of the guys who were at the door where I was standing... understood that I needed help and one went beneath the house and grabbed Tigger. I was muddy, the dog was muddy and we had to walk back about two blocks in that field back to the gas station where the car was parked. I fully expected to find my husband gone, but there he sat..dutifully.. waiting. He knew he was in big big trouble.
These events are funny now, but at that time, NO, it was anything but funny. We had really bad potty incidents, hearing aids wedged far up his nostril, and countless other moments when I could have absolutely strangled him... ---- and looking back, now, it just seems so surreal. If I didn't have these moments recorded in my journal, I would never believe them myself. How could anyone make up a story about a hearing aid so far up a nostril it took a nurse to remove it.
Hang in there, sister... We truly understand your frustration. Nancy B*
Oh Betty, I've had similar days myself! No matter how hard I try to have him pee/poop in the am before we go out and no matter how many bathroom trips he takes while out, as soon as he gets in the car, he always has to pee. yes there are days I want to murder him (not actually murder, but you know...) Misery loves company, so know you're not alone. NancyB, divi,and others, thanks for sharing-it made me laugh and not feel so alone!
Lost mine in the grocery store about 3 years ago. He ended up out at the loading dock! It was right after that that I gave up taking him shopping. He also used to put all kinds of things into the cart. I would quietly remove them when he wasn't looking. He was placed 3 years ago and starting his fourth year in an Alz fac. They don't take him shopping ;-)
You know how the sound of running water will make people have to pee - maybe there is something in their diseased brain that seeking bathrooms triggers the need to pee or getting in a car. How many times when not long after getting in the car your child would let your know they needed to pee - even if they went before leaving home?
I go to the memory wing where my hb is once or twice a day, usually at meal time so I can help him stay focused on eating. Two women there ALWAYS say, "I have to pee" a bjillion times during the meal. First time I was there, I became concerned because no staff was paying any mind to their "pleas;" so I mentioned it. A kind nurse said, "They are on 2-hr timetable for peeing. Saying 'I have to pee' is just what they say--frequently." I think they want attention, don't like the food or want to be somewhere else and don't know how to express it.
Thank-you all for your replys-today I have dried out and cooled off ,not so mad today.Besides it does no good to be mad at him,he never knows why I am upset with him. I think the bathroom thing is an attention getter too and even children learn early if you say "I gotta pee"someone will either pay attention or pay the PRICE. The only difference is the child out grows the bathroom thing(they go on to bigger things) but our LO only get worse.
Bak, another challenge is getting urine specimens. Wouldn't you think those "pee machines" could pee most anytime. We needed a specimen once in the doctor's office and try as he would, he couln't do it. So, we told him to just relax, take his time and it was OK. About 4-5 minutes later, he came out and said,"All done!" We were so proud and told him so. Later, in the car ride home, he turned and said, "I never could pee in that bottle, so I just filled it up with tap water!" and put it in the little cabinet they showed to me. Of course, I called the doctor's office as soon as we got home to tell them not to bother analyzing that sample. Big laugh all around. Me?...another awggggggggggggggg!
Just re-read some of the posts on here. Never a day or days without surprises.
I didn't think too much about my dh wanting to stay in the car the last couple of time we have been out while I ran into the store. But, he has always looked forward when we went "real" shopping. Like looking for something specfic or getting something new for him or the house. But, now he doesn't want to go in the stores at all. This past week we have been out 3 times. As soon as I park the car he says, I will wait for you....No I don't want to go in....
This really wouldn't bother me if I hadn't read the post of some of the spouses doing very dangerous things when left in the car. Now..where do I turn, can't leave him home alone, he doesn't want to go in the store, he can't be left in the car.....ohhh...my just another "what do I do".
JudithKB, I am really struggling with this too. As it is warm here, for the past year he has always wanted to just wait in the car. I leave him a drink and snack and he is always there when I get back.
Now....yikes.....of course I never would leave the keys again, but, what he did the other day really scared me.
Tomorrow we do the usual market day, and I usually let him walk to the nearby cafe and buy breakfast, and come right back. I think that is over, I need to go with him. As for shopping tomorrow, I am going to take him in with me, and use the wheelchairs if they have one.