Well, we're in a new phase-he announces he has to "pee"; we stop at a place I know there's a bathroom and he gets out the car door and then starts to pee right in the parking lot before anyone can get to him to take him to a baothroom. This happened last week when we had the aide from hell and his response to me "I can't force him to stop. There's nothing I can do about it." Well perhaps not, but we were in a McDonald's parking lot, parked right next to the drive thru lane. DH had his back turned so the occupants in the drive thru lane cars could not see. The aide turned him around towards the vehicles while DH was still peeing exposing him to the people in their cars and didn't even open the rear passenger door to shield him. I'm waiting for McDonalds to charge us with indecent exposure!
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to avoid this public urination? I make sure DH uses the bathroom before we leave the house and before we leave any place we've been shopping and I limit his intake of fluids while we're out. DH has FTD and it has become apparent that his disease is progressing because he is losing his impulse control with just about everything.
I'm sorry you have hit this stage. I really have no suggestions for this. My husband has FTD also and will also try to pee wherever we are when he has the urge. So far I've been able to stop him when we are in public. I don't really think there is anyway to stop them once they start actually peeing.
Coco...it sounds to me like he is in the beginning of stage 6. This is the stage my dh is going to be going into before long...and I just hate thinking about it.
Coco - remember they can be in between stages. Ex: 5/6 and that may be where your hb is. But don't get hung up on stages. Stages are good to judge the progress but as others have said, often their spouse is in more than one at a time. It is what it is
LFL oh man. so sorry about this real problem. if you have read the incontinence thread you see i had this problem as well. impulse control out the window. mine was about to urinate in the fountains at a local mall kids and all around. omg. it can be VERY frightening to us to have to be so vigil about the consequences that could happen. and mine never wanted to 'go' while in the bathroom. it was always as soon as we left the bathrooms and out in public again. :( about the only thing you can try to do is take him often to the bathrooms when out say every hr minimum and hope he goes. its not always a guarantee though. the other would be to have him in pants no zippers in front elastic waists with belt loops and put a belt on with the buckle at the BACK. he wont be able to get out of it without your help. holds pants in place and he cant get to his 'apparatus'.. :) of course depends must be in place to use this method. i used this more than once to avoid him getting into trouble. i was always concerned of his getting into legal trouble doing something that could lead to a prosecution. i think they would arrest them regardless if it was bad enough. and would cost a bundle to get an attorney to get the courts to see they arent competent. and a huge mess. and not to mention ;they would be in jail alone and vulnerable while you try to get them out. you cant let them out of your sight one minute while out. this can happen to anyone, when they have to go they go. your aide should be more alert to the signs he displays when hes wanting to go. and take him so often to the bathroom while you are doing what you need to. for most of us these issues can become quite a deterrent to taking them out very often. also have a bucket in the car just in case. he could use it and avoid being seen.
divi, thanks, we do usually take him to the bathroom at least every 1/2 hour to 45 mins. We were in grocery store for about 45 mins and I didn't take him (substitue aide who was uselsss) because we were going to stop 5 mins down the road. I didn't think he wouldn't make it 5 mins. We have depends, underwear and a portable urinal in the car, but when we give him the urinal he can't seem to pee. No UTI's-urologist says it's his meds and deteriorating brain condition.\\I am truly surprised that no one in the drive thru didn't complain...as I said before, I'm sure my license plate and his public urination is on the security cameras.
gosh LFL mine does the same thing. We had all the prostate biopsy done and it came out clear. His constant going and not peeing is his deteriorating brain. Poor dear people.
Coco, as I said, there's nothing physically wrong with him-prostate is in good condition, no UTI's but it's neurological....and dr says it's a combo of brain deterioration and meds. We need to try to manage them but honestly, he's difficult to manage- he's so fast!
My dh has not "gone public" yet but he is constantly going to pee and then not peeing. I have come to HATE the bathroom with a passion.We are in and out of there so many times a day it is a wonder the floor is not worn out! I know he can not help this but still--------
Interesting....my dh just recently decided that going outside was the easiest thing to do....down stairs of porch and out to car port. We have a bathroom right next to the living room, but he goes outside, in the cold, and goes out there...I couldn't believe it, didn't make sense...as usual. But I asked (not smart) why on earth he was going out there at night etc instead of in the house, and he said "cause I want to". But then he got super mad, and let me have it, serious issue. So I'll never ask again, at least we live out where we don't have neighbors too close. I was curious why he is doing this, but reading this it seems many have "issues" in this area.
LFL, I just read your post, and have a suggestion ..You might just want to call McDonald's and ask to speak to the GENERAL Manager, be sure it is not the boy who is the Manager of that paticular shift. Explain to him that you are calling to apologize and explain that this incident occurred by your Alz. spouse, and it all happened so quickly..you didn't know how to stop him. Tell him it was the first time he had ever done that and you are so upset and so sorry and just wanted to apologize and explain in the event anyone called him, he'd have a head's up and could explain to them. Bring him onto your team, (no surprises). Now he won't bring in authorities, he will have an explanation if anyone else does and you have apoloogized and he will know you are working on the problem. Much the same as we'd use the little cards that said, "Please forgive my Husband's behavior, he has Alzheimer's Disease"... it's important to have the upper hand in all of these situations.
My husband urinated in the church parking lot and several other outdoor public places, but never where anyone saw him, (or at least I don't think they did..)I know it doesn't help you to know that others have done the same thing,... because it's YOUR embarassment here. But the fact is, just like any other four year old, they are going to 'go when they need to go'. Can you lock his car door and not unlock it till you're in a more private place..?
Wow, my DH is getting into that stage too. He announces when he needs to go pee too! The other day I was in the kitchen and all of a sudden I heard him yell a big OUCH!!! I asked him if he was OK he didn't want to tell me what happened at first but he finally said that he had grabbed himself like little boys do when they have to go but they are having too much fun and don't want to so they are trying to hold it in. I guess public urination is probably going to happen too!!!!