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  1.  
    I finally mailed my letters today to report the nursing home where Gord went for respite for their practice of changing medications without calling me first. I am sure that they contributed to Gord's decline and eventual death. The director of care at the home is probably thinking that I am waiting for their freedom on information form to give me the answers as to names. Wrong. I also complained to the ministry about their obstructing my right to justice for my husband. I have also asked for a meeting with the doctor. When I find out his name, I will report him to the College of Physicians and Surgeons. I have been told a couple of times that they are required to inform the family before they change or stop a drug. The letters went by expresspost and will arrive tomorrow. They have to be signed for and I will track that. I am glad that they are gone.
    • CommentAuthorLFL
    • CommentTimeJan 9th 2012
     
    jang*, this is a very difficult step which I hope yields new and useful information. It is terrible that you have been "left in the dark" as the person who loved and cared for your dear Gord. My BIL died in a NH in 2009 after being in for 18 months-the physician signed the death certificate which said "ling cancer" as the cause of death. BIL never smoked and no one ever advised the family that he was suffering from lung cancer. I believe it was a cover-up by the NH-I beilieve he died of aspiration or some other preventable condition due to neglect.
  2.  
    jang* what you are also doing is protecting other families who don't know how to do what you are doing.
  3.  
    I think that is what is driving me. I know that nothing will bring Gord back but they can't get away with this. For every roadblock they put in my way, I get more determined. I will pay for a lawyer if I have to. If I thought I could stand it emotionally, I would sue them. Not for money but to enforce the rule that you can't change drugs without contacting the prescribing physician and the family. I feel absolutely driven to protect all of these people who have no hope of protecting themselves.
  4.  
    The director of care just called to assure me that they are not trying to stall me in any way. He said the person who will read my application for the information sounded really sick on her phone message and that she should have been back today. He also assured me that I can have a meeting with the doctor who stopped Gord's ativan. I don't think I will take my friends with me for this meeting. I don't want them to know that I can be a real &&**%%$$ when I am protecting someone.
  5.  
    Jang*. please take someone with you as a witness to the conference. Otherwise, what is said may be taken out of context, should you want to push it further.

    Hugs,
    Mary*
  6.  
    Good point, Mary* I will do that.
  7.  
    Good advice, always have a witness or at least a tape recorder. Check for the Omnibudsman program in your state. They may provide you with free legal council. I know that the Council on Aging can also assist. Any resources that the state might provide. All homes must answer to a board of some type. You are not alone in this. you are my hero!!!!!!!!
  8.  
    I received 2 letters today. I had called the director of care on Monday to remind him that I was waiting for the names. He told me that as the ministry had gotten involved, there would be a bit of a pause. I reminded him that I particularly wanted the name of the on-call doctor who chose to stop Gord's ativan. He assured me I would have that. Today, I received a letter from him with the surnames of those at the meeting. He also gave me the name of the attending physician. He knows that he already gave me that doctor's name and that I talked to that doctor. The doctor quickly turned the blame back on the nursing staff. I left him a message that I want the name of the doctor who changed Gord's medication. I also received a letter from the ministry of health. They said that based on my letter, it would appear that there has been non-compliance with regulation something or other. It said there will be an inspector going into the home and he/she will contact me. After their visit, the ministry will let me know what they are going to do. Seeing as I have their blister pack without ativan, my blister pack with and 2 documents stating that ativan is a standing order, I really don't know what the inspector is going to find. We shall see. I am not going anywhere.

    Thank you shellseeker50....I don't think I have ever been a hero before.
  9.  
    Jang* while I am so sorry you had to go thru this, you are awsome. I am so glad you are taking the stand you are taking. I totally understand why you are doing this and I pray for good results for you and that even more good comes from your pain. Hang in there and don't wear footprints on your back. Know we are behind you......
  10.  
    Thanks mammie. I just checked. No footprints yet. I am proud to have you all behind me.
  11.  
    I hadn't realized how stressful it is to fight the system. As I hung up the phone from my millionth call to obtain the name of the doctor who stopped Gord's ativan, I realized that I was shaking all over. They will not stop me. I will get a lawyer if I have to. I am woman, hear me roar.
    • CommentAuthorElaineH
    • CommentTimeJan 23rd 2012
     
    Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do to have closure. I believe that is what you are doing jang. YOU GO GIRL! Keep us posted!
  12.  
    It sounds like the old "slow walk" until you give up and move on. Keep on - don't give up now you have every right to know.
  13.  
    After leaving messages for George on Thursday, Monday and again this morning, I finally received a call. A letter is being sent to me from the nursing home that is supposedly giving me the information that I want. I asked about the meeting and he said that will be in the letter as well. If this is more obstruction, I am going to get a lawyer and go to the papers. They have to know that I am in contact with a lot of other caregivers in my support group and that word will travel about what happened to Gord there and what has happened since.

    I keep thinking about the meeting and the nurse manager demanding to know why I was there if I knew that Gord had died of aspirational pneumonia in the hospital. I thought that was a lovely caring attitude. Also when I mentioned the facilities blister packs and the fact that there was no ativan in them, she challenged me twice by saying did I mean that they had been opened and taped shut. Now I will be upset until I see this letter.
    •  
      CommentAuthormary75*
    • CommentTimeJan 25th 2012
     
    When you say you hadn't realized how stressful it was to fight the system until you found yourself shaking after making so many phone calls, I couldn't help but wish you might just let it drop. I say that as one who battled fiercely and long for her husband, and who is still involved in legal battles even though it's almost a year now since he died. In retrospect, I see that I did too much, and the physical and emotional cost was, and continues to be, too high. It's your life you should be protecting.
  14.  
    I know Mary75* but I just can't let the b...get away with it. They did not follow the rules and I genuinely believe that it caused Gord's rapid decline. I remember the doctor saying that he didn't have much in reserves and that she didn't know if he could even come back to his previous level of functioning. I think of all the other poor souls like Gord who have nobody to fight for them. Perhaps it isn't just for Gord that I fight but for all those who have nobody. I know from the 7 years that I protected my mom and the 4 years that I was protecting my mother-in-law that these people have to know that someone out there is watching.
    •  
      CommentAuthormary75*
    • CommentTimeJan 25th 2012
     
    Hat off to you, Jang. I know where you're coming from. Sending you my best.
    • CommentAuthordivvi*
    • CommentTimeJan 25th 2012
     
    jang, if you believe the NH was the cause of your DH wrongful death or a contributor to that fact then an attorney would be your best bet. they have the know how to get all the questions and paperwork needed to see the course of treatment that your DH went thru while under their care. they really dont want to release any pertanant damaging info unless an attorney suppoenas it thru the courts. unfortuntately as time passes -they have some opportunity to cleanup their trails if you get my drift. you may or not get the info you are looking for but you have to ask how far you are willing to go . i know you want answers and justice if the actions merit further investigation. good luck.
  15.  
    Actually, Divi, I have the proof right here. They gave me the blister packs that they were using for Gord while he was there. There is no ativan in the sealed packs. I have the blister pack that I took to show them Gord's prescriptions. There is ativan in those blister packs. I have the printout from the drugstore which shows ativan as a standing order, not a PRN as they are claiming. They also tried to tell me that they were going by the drug list that had been given when I put Gord's name down for placement. It also shows ativan as a standing order. I really believe that this practice is what started Gord on his rapid decline. I believe that he was having withdrawal symptoms and nobody knew.
    •  
      CommentAuthorJudithKB*
    • CommentTimeJan 25th 2012
     
    I believe one letter from an attorney threatening to sue and you would have the
    information you need. And, if they did wrong, why shouldn't you sue?? If they
    have to pay a hefty fine (compensation to you) they will be more careful in the future and you will be helping someone else in the future. Don't feel quilty about making the pay. I would have been telling them weeks ago I was going to sue and I would have done it.
  16.  
    I am starting to think that is the only way they will listen. I will see what the letter says. I hope it gets here soon.
  17.  
    I received my letter today. Basically it says somewhere between interfaces and 2 different sources of information, they screwed up. They are really sorry that their human error ended up making my experience with True Davidson not meet my expectations.

    I am really sorry that their mistake ruined my experience with them too. I am really sorry that they couldn't keep their drug lists straight. I am so offended that they are sorry that their mistake ruined my experience with them. Of course, we can't mention the fact that in my opinion, they sent my husband down the slipper slope to his death. I am really sorry that after I took such good care of him for almost 10 years, they couldn't manage for 12 days.

    I am angry, angry, angry and incredibly sad that my husband's death has been reduced to a human error.
    • CommentAuthordivvi*
    • CommentTimeJan 31st 2012 edited
     
    jang, if they are admitting to you in writing that their negligence may have contributed to the demise of your spouse, then surely its time to visit an attorney for consultation. at minimum they may be willing to compensate you for their errors. if i admitted my fairly active healthy spouse to a facility for respite for 2 wks, and during that time he had an untimely death, i know i'd be more than upset and demanding answers. it cant hurt to find out since you seem to be holding all the cards at this point. a good atty will advise you if you have a case or not.
  18.  
    The thing is that he did not pass away there. He went to the hospital the day after he came home and died 10 days later of aspirational pneumonia. I am determined that the drug error caused him to decline rapidly but proving that is a whole other story. My financial advisor warned me that he has seen things like this too often. He said the widow is bankrupt long before there is any end to the proceedings.
    • CommentAuthordivvi*
    • CommentTimeJan 31st 2012 edited
     
    jang ther are many many excellent attorneys that take your case on a contingency fee=at least here in usa. meaning that they dont get paid only if they settle the case and monetary settlement. their fee is usually 33.3% of what they collect out of the case. meaning you pay nothing unless they win a case for you. but yes it can be very trying long and tedious proceedings and there is no guarantees. i guess they work this way in canada as well but i am not familiar with canadian laws. at any rate, its a very distressing that you have to endure this from the facility. so sorry.
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeJan 31st 2012
     
    As an option to sue, you might get busy posting reviews/complaints on the internet, with your medical society, and any place out where people might check for references on places/doctors.