Starling hasn't posted in a long while and I wondered if anyone has been in touch with her. When I first posted in 2008 during the chaotic time of new diagnosis and DH's violent behaviors, she was the one who suggested the rash he had gotten in the psych hospital might be scabbies and not a drug reaction. Unfortuately she was right!
I'm here. I don't normally go to any of the forums anymore. My husband has been placed for 19 months now, 15 months with hospice. He can no longer speak, is totally bed ridden and no longer reacts when his name is called. It has been so long now that in many ways I am already a widow, and have started getting on with my life.
Starling has been a model example of 'getting on with one's life'. She has stayed on top of everything and insured that her DH has everything he needs. After decades of putting herself last, she is learnng that she is able to accomplish many feats she dared not even try. She is gradually developing a social life, has gone back to church, taken up quilting, painting and may soon venture into the world of "driving after sundown". She is amazing! I know she will be glad to know she was remembered today.
Starling, I'm another one who enjoyed your posts. Could you check in once in a while and help us who are still struggling? We need the wisdom you gained from experience.
Starling: It is so good to hear from you again. DMy DW has been in the Altz unit for 23 mos now and even tho she still knows me, she doesn't anything else. Not where she is or why. It isn't possible to visit with her because she can't discuss anything and can't even finish a sentence. I know what you mean about already being a widow. I sometimes feel the same way about being a widower. Momma is never coming home.
Starling and Dean, I feel pretty much like you both do. DH has been in the Alz unit for 15 months and his memories are all completely gone. He recognizes me as one of "his people" who come to visit, but has no idea who I am. As I go out in the world I realize I'm doing it a a single person, with no helpmate or companion. So yes, for all the practical aspects of life I'm already a widow.
Starling, I am glad you are getting on with your life and thank you for responding. Like the others, I always enjoyed and learned from your posts and would be grateful if you found time to post occassionally to assist those of us still on the journey (yours has not ended yet either). I am grateful to many of the members who have and continue to share their experiences and wisdom.