I think the best word to describe last few months have been...a fog. But the worst came about a month ago, when DH fell and fractured his kneecap...fishing. Didn't know what to think, he told me but he is still very independent, and refuses to discuss anything with me, unless I by chance catch him off guard. So he fell Friday, and by Monday was pretty swollen so we went to urgent care. They said it was sprained, but called the next day to say no, actually fractured...so back we go. The Orthopedic Dr said 6 wk recovery...first three with no weight on it at all, and then physical therapy. We live 30 min from anywhere, so every trip takes considerable time. After two weeks on crutches, he decides that he is ok to go without, and starts walking around with just the leg brace on. So, today, our first physical therapy session, turns out a mess because the dr is appalled that the man is walking on it....and looks at me like????????? I cannot "make" this man do anything, he is so independent, and although allows me to do most things around the house, will not allow me to tell him what to do...period!!! The disease obviously makes him more stubborn, which he was good at anyway, so what to do???? The dentist says he has gum disease, and if I told them he barely brushes his teeth twice a week they would croak! But again, how do you make a person listen, or do what you want when they are so obstinate? ARRGGGHHHHH!

My dh usually cooperates in most things regarding his care. However, when he doesn't I usually point out to him by telling him...OK...you don't do what the dr. says and you get worse I will have to place you in a home where they can take care of you because I can't lift you and help you around. That usually works. But,
if he gets really bad about not doing something. I just tell him I can't handle this and I will be calling about placing him tomorrow or I will have to leave and you will have to take care of yourself. Then I walk out of the room.

I don't argue with him or say these things in a hateful manner. I just state them as a fact, and he seems to believe me. He usually shapes up because I think I frighten him. Which is ok...because I have to survive and he can't make things worse for me and me put up with it...it is in his best interest. One time he did say to me "You are one hard core woman." I had to laugh.

mimiS, like bluedaze* said, this may not make you feel better, but I KNOW exactly how you feel. When I noticed the memory problems with my DH & our PCP suggested that he go to a neurologist he refused to go until our children had a sort of intervention with him & told him he WOULD go. He did, but he wasn’t happy about it. He heard the dx of early dementia (in March of 06) but never accepted it. He did go to the neurologist for the follow up appointments until 09 & then refused to go back. I didn’t see the point of going back when I knew that he would be obnoxious to the Nurse Practitioner (who was so sweet to him). Luckily our PCP said that he would continue to prescribe the Aricept & Namenda DH was already on & when he started with the aggression I asked the experienced people here what meds to try. Seroquel was suggested & lucky for us it was the right one. Now he is pretty docile & even goes to our PCP willingly.